Hey, I'm back! How's everyone doing? I haven't been too good, so hope everyone's been better off than I have. The past few days have been strange? I don't know how to put it in words, so let me just tell you...

Thursday... Thursday was horrible. It was one of those days when you really need to get out of the house, but noone's there? It's always the case whenever you are busy everyone will ask you out and whenever you need to just get out of the house, everyone else is busy. Or they just don't want to go out, so screw that. The thing that annoys me the most about it all is people telling you "I'll be there for you anytime anywhere ok? Just give me a call". Screw that la. Don't make a promise that you cannot fulfill can? It really sucks when you give a call to those people and they tell you stuff like... "Sorry, I'm busy", "Sorry, I don't feel like going out", BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH. Also, don't apologise for the sake of it, because you sorry for what fuck? You tell me? I'm not mad at anyone or anything, I just don't want people to tell me something like that in the future and he/she just can never be there, get what I mean?

Yeah, so I ended up staying at home. I spent most of the time in my room thinking and that sucks. Whenever I'm alone, I'll start thinking and when I start thinking, I'll get EMO. Yeah, so you can say that I don't like staying at home. My plans on Friday were kindda screwed up too and I had to get out of the house. I started calling people and stuff. Apparently everyone is busy and all again. Thankfully, Alex was free, so I ended up meeting him the next day.

I woke up pretty late and I met Alex about 2pm. We went to Raffles Place MRT station to find this place called "Market Street Carpark". No, it isn't a carpark. In fact, it's a shopping centre! Dumbass name eh? So we tried finding the place and we walked around and asked people for about at least half an hour? Apparently, we couldn't find it and nobody knew about it. We went back to the station to take a look at the map again and we realise we were walking in the wrong direction... So we went back to find the place and we found it, but almost every shop was close... AIYO...

We took a bus to Suntec and on the way there, Alex told me if women can have PMS, then guys can like also be sad and moodless and stuff once in awhile too. Interesting theory there. We went to Thai Express at City Link for lunch. The curry was good and it wasn't that expensive too! The only bad thing was that the serving wasn't alot. After that, we went to Suntec because Alex wanted to walk around the children's section... -.= So old (2o this year) already still so childish! tsk. Then, we went over to Esplanade to take a bus to Holland Village. We reached Holland Village and walked to Buona Vista MRT station to meet up with Dennis before proceeding back to Holland Village. We went for dinner at some Noodle Restaurant. The Ipoh Hor Fun nice! $3.20 only!! Aahaha... Wah not bad ah, in a day can find 2 new places to have good food! Must go back sometime soon!

After dinner, we went to Eski Bar! That place stylo la. I like! Again, must go back more often! The staff there are friendly also! The timing was good also because it was happy hour until 9pm! L0L! We were there about 8pm? The music was good! The environment was good! The drinks were bad! L0L! No la, I prefered Alex and Dennis drinks compared to mine. It was my first time drinking in 4/5 years? I just felt the need to because I needed something to take me away from my problems? Yeah so... I had these 2 cocktails. First was this Singapore Sling and it tasted like medicine! Second was Sex On The Beach and it tasted like Singapore Sling, which tasted like medicine! Anyway, what kind of cock name is Sex On The Beach? No wonder it's called a COCKtail la, so suku sia the name. Imagine one day a hot waitress taking your order then you say something like "Can I get the Sex On The Beach?". L0L! Will kena some slapness anot? L0L! Oh, we took a photo in the Ice Bar area and it was -5 degrees in there man! Check it out...



Woah! Handsome sia the middle guy! Woohoo! Ignore the hair cuz i no money cut. Alex looks drunk! L0L!



Margarita, Singapore Sling, Dennis's Stomach and Kamikaze.



Eski Blue, forgot wad sai and Sex On The Beach.

Stylo ah the colours? ^^ Ok, I regret to inform everyone that I didn't get high! We had some Fries and Calamari, so the bill came up to about $90+. Scare right ? Ya, me too. Oh, Jeremiah came and join us at about 9pm. I saw Ce Rong again at the Bar of all places! L0L! Cool eh? Anyway, we left the bar after we were done drinking and we went to the kopitiam at Holland Village. The carrot cake is nice! Must go try! L0L! Yup, so I wasn't feeling so EMO already when I got home around 11pm plus. Then Dennis started questioning me about me breaking my promise about following him to church the next day. Aiya, I didn't know what to say then and I still don't know what you want me to say now because everything I say also won't make a difference anyway. I did agree to going because you told me Jeremiah would go if I did, so I was doing you a favour till Jeremiah decided not to go.

I woke up pretty late today too after falling asleep when Survivor was over. Jeremiah messaged me at 2pm asking me if I'm meeting him at Jurong East at 3pm to go to Expo. I was stunned because the night before he told Dennis and I that he wasn't going. I was also unprepared, but hey, I'm not the type that breaks promises, so I rushed and met him. When we were on the train approaching Clementi, Dennis called. He told us that there wasn't any seats left, so we decided to go to town instead. We called Weixuan and he agreed to meet us. Jeremiah and I ended up slacking around till Weixuan turned up. Oh, I met Yong Long at Far East Plaza! Hao jiu bu jian! Seems like whenever I'm EMO, I'll meet my friends whom I haven't seen in a long time! -.= We bought tickets to catch Shooter at 6.20pm and the movie was better than I expected, so yeah it was pretty good! It lasted 2 hours and we went to Hard Rock Cafe after that for drinks and Fries. I had a Margarita this time and it was better than the drinks last night. We left about close to 10pm?

So let me clear certain things up first, yes I do drink to suppress my problems and issues and whatever you want to call it. That doesn't mean I'm an alcoholic because I'm not. Does drinking suppress my problems? Yeah, maybe. Is that a reason to start drinking? Yes? No? I don't really care? I'm just a social drinker and there's nothing wrong with that. I don't think there's anything wrong with social smoking too. Even social drugging is fine. You only get to live once anyway right?

Another thing is that... Have I been having problems these few days? Yes. Do I share my problems? No. Why? Seriously, what difference does it make? It's not like people can understand or help me in anyway also what! So by telling them, it only makes them having to carry my burden and I don't like that. Also, I feel there's a huge difference when someone's there for you physically compared to virtually? Like if you tell someone your problems online or over the phone right... how do you know if they are actually listening? I also won't know what they are thinking right? Physically is so much different though. Just knowing the person is seating right next to you and listening is already more comforting than sharing my issues online or over the phone. I mean it's nice to hear someone say "I'm here listening", but if he/she isn't physically there right... then isn't it strange? Sometimes you just really need someone seating beside you to listen. Too bad for me, I've got no such luck or whatever you want to call it.

Talking to my Mum or Dad? For real? What a joke! My sister? Yeah right, we can't even hold a proper conversation without arguing. That's why I've always wanted an elder bro because I know things would be different for me. In the sense that there's someone there who I can talk to and relate/share my problems with. Well, I know it's better than having an elder sister for sure. But damnit la, my parents didn't bless me with an elder bro and now I'm all alone! =( Seriously, I think my life would be very different now if I had an elder bro just there for me to talk with and listen to me. My life won't be so fucked up and messed up. Ok, I'm not going to go on because I'll just start getting EMO again! *Sighz* Just my luck eh? *Sighz* I'm going to stop here for today before I start thinking and getting EMO and stuff again. Take care ah everyone! Don't be like me! =]

"Take away the miseries and you take away some folks' reason for living."
- Toni Cade Bambara