Hey guys! This is going to be a really short entry and maybe I'll talk more about it the next time I blog. For now, I'm going to make it short and sweet! =]

I talked to my dad earlier about religion. It was a super short conversation la, I didn't tell him everything yet. I haven't told him that I've been going to church, which is the most important part. However, I just talked to him about religion and he told me that he'll leave it to me to decide whatever religion I believe in. The only thing else he told me was that whatever religion I chose to believe in, always remember to be a good person. I was touched la at the moment in time and nearly cried! =[ I wanted to talk to him more about it and hopefully actually mention to him where I've been for the past 3 Sundays, but his phone rang la. Aiyo... Anyway, I didn't want to push it. I just want to know his opinion if I decide to be a Christian and now that I know he is alright with it, at least I can fang xin abit understand? L0L! I forgot the English term for "Fang xin". Yeah, now I need to talk to my mum too, but I know that she is alright with whatever religion I believe in because she told me before.

So the tough part is explaining where I've been the past 3 Sundays and why all the way to Expo when there's so many other churches nearby. I feel that I need to tell them asap if not it's like a burden. It feels like the whole world on my shoulders, but I don't have the courage to talk to them about it actually. They know about CHC too and they always hear the not so good stuff about it, so how am I to convince them? Once I tell them all of these, it would be great because I don't have to keep all these things to myself and lie about where I went for the past 3 Sundays. Siang Yee told me it wasn't good lying to my parents too and of course I know it isn't a good thing la, but HOW??? I really don't know how to tell them. If I'm able to tell them, then all I'm left with is myself and if this is really what I want. Once I figure that all out, then I will be able to complete the puzzle.

I'm going to accompany my dad to NUH later for a checkup to determine some stuff. It's kind of hard for me to describe it here, but if you really would like to know, just ask. My mum would be coming along too, so I'm hoping I'll be able to talk to her about it. Obviously that isn't why I'm tagging along la! I'm not like that. I just want everything to be alright and I just hope my dad would be fine. I cannot take this kind of thing one if it isn't ok, I will go into deep depression mode and nobody can talk me out of it. So pray for my dad ok? I know he's going to be fine! =]

Last Sunday, they had this altar call, but I didn't go down. Firstly, I wasn't ready yet and the timing wasn't right because I'm still facing some tough situations in my life now that I want to solve. Secondly, I really want my parents to be alright with it first. I'll listen to them and if they are really against it then I won't do it because they are the ones they brought me up since birth. I just need some time to think it through and I really want to respond because I want to and not because someone else wants me too. That is what that has been bothering me for the past few days. Religion is a very personal thing to me and I would like to keep it that way. If I sincerely decide on being a Christian, I don't think it's a MUST for me to respond because as long as in my heart I believe in God, I know I'm already saved. I don't mean to disrespect anyone because that is my genuine opinion and I apologise if anyone feels that way.

I really hope what I said in this entry will get through to all my friends and I assure you guys that no matter what my religion is, I'll always be the same old Shawn that you all know! I promise that I'll still be the same and I hope that if I truly become a Christian, you guys won't hate me or let our friendship be ruin because of that k ? I'll like to leave you guys with this... "Judge me for who I am and not on my Colour, Dialect or Religion". Have a great week ahead and I'll update you guys more on the situation yeah? =)

"There is no revenge so complete as forgiveness."
- Josh Billings