*Sighz* I just realised not too long ago that my classical guitar string broke! Hmm... Actually it isn't mine, it's Farhanah's guitar, but I'm still upset! I have no idea how to get it fixed, so anyone able to help me out? I asked Khairul to help me, but he can only do it on Monday, which means 3 days I can't play the guitar! Nooo!!! That means when I'm sad, there's noone or rather nothing to comfort me! Can you feel my pain? =( How? Nothing to get me High already and nothing to keep me from getting EMO! Aiyo... Guitar... What have I ever done to you to deserve this? =(

Anyway, I'm feeling a little better since my last post. Thanks to everyone for the encouragement and stuff. I really appreciate it and I'm touched! Yea, I can feel the love all around too! ;) I'm not that upset about it already, but whenever I think about it, I still feel sad. So many things have happened to me especially when in Secondary school. There were good memories as well as bad memories too! I think there's more not so good memories though. Like ever since an incident or two happened, I find it really tough to trust people or rather get close with them. The reason being whenever I become close with someone, some sh!t will always happen and that friendship or bond will be lost and gone forever. I think since then, I try to maintain a kind of distance and not move forward. Still, there are still people that I care for a lot and I hope they care for me just as much too!

When I went back to read my last entry, it was kind of weird because maybe I revealed more than I should? At that time when I wrote it, I was just letting it all out because I knew my blog would understand. L0L! Mainly because it isn't human, so it won't get mad at me for anything and it will always be there for me through thick and thin! I can't say the same thing for humans though, because if I actually told someone about that in words instead of typing, they would probably take it like I'm talking to the wall or get fed up with me. Yeah, and I don't want to take that chance because it could cause a friendship!

Ok, so perhaps my point is that I tell my blog everything. No, seriously, EVERYTHING. I blog about anything and everything about me, my life and other stuff too! Therefore, my blog reveals me and who I am. If you guys want to know more about me and my life, my blog's the best place to figure me out! My problems and stuff can all be found here, so if I don't talk about my problems or say I'm fine when you figure out I'm not, then you'll probably find my problems and everything else right here. I seriously think that you need to have a good deal of patience too because my entries are usually long! L0L! And yes, my blog is probably the best place to know more about me! =] I mean sure you can ask me and stuff la, but I have my own secrets too right? Everyone does, but there's only one person or thing rather that I'll tell and that's my blog! I should give my blog a name or something man, since it's like always there for me. How about Blogger? Sounds so original right? =X Kidding! Maybe Bob the Blog! Stylo!! As for now, you'll still be known as Blog! =]

Thanks to those that actually spent time reading my last entry too and understanding. Also, thanks for not asking me if I'm alright and stuff because I was not during that time. I'm getting better, but it's not easy to control and suppress all the pain and stuff I've been through for the past few years. Hmmm... but I think I'm better off then in secondary school la. In secondary school, I used to be very sensitive and get upset easily! I'm still sensitive now, but I can say less sensitive compared to then. Secondary school was when I learnt a lot and grown more mature too! I met really sucky people, but I also met lifelong friends! I met HER too! =[ Save that for another time! Hah! I have no regrets la although it will be better if I didn't have to meet those sucky people, but then again I wouldn't be a stronger person today if it wasn't them right? I'm happy that I decide to STAY in Tanglin although I still think the school sucks. L0L! However, the people there power la.

I don't know how many of you actually know, but I didn't want to go to Tanglin. Ok, see my blog knows about it now! Hahah. I was on the verge of appealing over to Yusof Ishak Secondary School mainly because it was nearer and I have never heard of Tanglin. So far somemore at West Coast! ~!@#$%^&* Ok la, in the end I realise maybe the travelling time about the same. I stayed in Tanglin thanks to my parents actually, they convinced me to go there and stay for a year. I wasn't happy and I just wanted that 4 years to past real quick. The first year in Tanglin was pretty alright actually, but 2 good friends of mine decided to appeal over to Gan Eng Seng Secondary School at the end of the year. They asked me to appeal with them as well, that was one of those hard times when you see 2 good friends leaving. I wanted to join them too, but somehow I stayed in Tanglin and life just went on in Tanglin.

Secondary 2 was cool till the end of the year when the friends I'm close with got into the best class and I didn't because my results sucks la duh. So I had to choose another class and I decided to choose the 4th Express class as the 3rd Express class had to do F&N or D&T and I naturally sucked at both. At that end of the year, my parents actually asked me to transfer to Swiss Cottage Secondary School since it was nearer for me. I just didn't want to because after 2 years, I kind of got used to the environment and people. That time I knew Pan Ge already also! Ok, so the Sec 3 class results came out and I got into the 4th Express class which I chose. Ok, I think many of my sec 3/4 classmates didn't know this, so if you all read this then better go buy 4D, ToTo and all because you all damn lucky siaL! There was this sec 1/2 classmate of mine who got into the 3rd Express class. She chose it, but sort of regret it after that and she wanted to swap to the 4th Express class since her good friends were there too.

Ok, let me break it down for all of you. At that point in time, both the 3rd and 4th had people that I wasn't really close with. All of close friends went to another school or to the best class already, so I was more or less ALONE. So I was looking at the subjects rather than the people before choosing the 4th Express class. Then, when the posting was out, I looked at the people. I realised that in the 3rd Express class, there were at least a few people that I talked to. Hongyue was the first girl I talked to in Tanglin, there was Alvin who I talked to as well because his surname Tan mah then during exams and stuff, he is the one sitting in front of me. There was Derrick too, quite a close friend since we started talking on the first few days of school. Ze Hao was there as well, although we don't talk often, but still better than nothing right? So, I was actually posted to the 4th Express class, but what the hell man! I knew it was suicide, but F. it and just do it, so I decided to swap with that sec 1/2 classmate of mine who got into the 3rd Express class. Woah, probably a small decision to you guys, but I think that decision had a big impact in my life!

Basically, Sec 3 was getting to know new people and just mixing around and having loads of fun. I realised that I was lucky to swap classes because I really made many good friends! I was chairman that year too and it was a good experience although I didn't really like it. L0L! Hongyue and I became really close friends too and we still are! I made friends who I'm still close with now like Khairul, Malbindar, Justin, Kumar. There are others too that I still talk with, but perhaps not that often and some that are just ~!@#$%^&* who took advantage and brainwashed me. KNNBCCB! Understand? Perhaps Sec 3 was the biggest change that happened to me when I turned from good boy to wild child. >.< I did have a whole load of fun in sec 3 though. At the end of sec 3, Derrick and Khairul got retained and I was really upset because I wasn't able to help them do better and get better results.

Secondary 4 was a sh!tty year especially since the 'O' levels were heading our way. I lost a really good friend, but I don't regret it because that "friendship" was just rubbish. I blogged about it quite recently, so I won't touched on it again. There wasn't much that happened in sec 4 because everyone was focusing on their studies and there wasn't time for anything else. Oh well, that year flew past fast and the 'O' levels came rushing towards us sooner than we thought.

So there you have it, my 4 years in secondary school. Somehow, I managed to stay in Tanglin for that entire 4 years and ended up where I am today. Also, the event where I decided to switch classes with my friend. Just take a second and imagine what if all of these didn't happen... I wouldn't be able to get close with the friends of close with and in fact, I wouldn't be able to even meet some of them. A whole load of things would be different, probably even the person I am today. I would probably not go to church as well and not met Fei Ge! I might not even have met Pan Ge or Hongyue or Khairul or everybody else if I had not made all those decisions that I had made. Perhaps, what I'm trying to say is that I'm really glad that I made those decisions and I'm blessed to meet all the people I met even those ~!@#$%^&* ones because it has taught me a lot!

So there you have it! How my life in secondary school really had a huge impact on the person I am today! Aren't you glad you read the entire thing? ahaha! Or maybe I should say aren't you glad you stopped by my blog to take a look? =X Yup! My blog knows every single bit of me since I started blogging on May 19 2004! Wah! Going to be 3 year anniversary already!!! I have to throw a party or something man! And those who don't update their blogs, you all should you know! I remember there was a period when I totally stopped blogging because I was lazy, but now I realise I cannot be lazy because blogging has become part of me already! It keeps me alive and kicking! In times of happiness or sorrows, my blog is always there for me and it will always be there for me no matter what happens. Awww... so touching right? And I always wish that I can find a human out there who is like that other than my parents! L0L! Yeah, dreaming only because the fact is that only you can be always there for yourself. Anyway, thanks for sticking around and I hope you had a great time reading as much as I had blogging! L0L! Do stay tune for more dose of Shawn next time! Take care and byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! =]

"We find no real satisfaction or happiness in life without obstacles to conquer and goals to achieve."
- Maxwell Maltz