Part Deux.
my name is Shawn. The Message.
Tunes. Them. Daryl Farhanah Hongyue Jian Chao Liu Yun Qing Xiang Serene Previously. Beautiful Like You. Hi Blog ! Ep 1.4 Ep 2.3 - my name is Shawn II Ep 1.3 - my name is Shawn. Ep 4.2 - The Difference Between Colleagues & Friends Ep 3.2 - 3 Months Later... Ep 2.2 - New Year; New Hope. Ep 1.2 Chapter II Ep 7.1 - The Real World. The Past. May 2004 June 2004 July 2004 August 2004 September 2004 October 2004 November 2004 December 2004 January 2005 February 2005 March 2005 April 2005 May 2005 June 2005 July 2005 August 2005 September 2005 October 2005 November 2005 December 2005 January 2006 February 2006 March 2006 April 2006 May 2006 June 2006 July 2006 August 2006 September 2006 October 2006 November 2006 December 2006 January 2007 February 2007 March 2007 April 2007 May 2007 June 2007 July 2007 August 2007 September 2007 October 2007 November 2007 December 2007 January 2008 April 2008 May 2008 September 2008 December 2008 May 2009 June 2009 July 2009 August 2009 September 2009 October 2009 December 2009 March 2010 April 2010 May 2010 July 2010 December 2010 June 2011 Credits. This skin is produced by Headlight Productions. The icons are from Three More Steps. All codes are meticulously hand-coded, and can not be used as basecodes or reference. All css and javascript in the code passes validation. © Copyright Headlight 2008 - Forever. All Rights Reserved. |
Previously On Shawn's Blog
Sunday, May 09, 2010 11:05 am
Ep 2.3 - my name is Shawn II
(...continue...)
i met this girl whom I grew to like. we went out on 2 different occasions. she opened up and shared her problems with me. she told me how she felt about me. then i found out she got attached. i was shattered after that. imagine approaching someone for their number. the first time you ever approached a girl. you thought you had something going on with her. then you found out she decided to go with someone else. from then till now, i have not approached anyone else. i still feel the pain and i'm still healing. in poly, i commit my life to Jesus. i felt something was missing in me. it's like i wasn't complete. having that special relationship helped a lot. especially in forgiving and healing. i became to change. i stopped swearing. i began to walk into the right path. unfortunately, i seem to be losing my way again. the person who brought me to church turned on me. he made use of me and used my own emotions against me. he made me believe he was in need of help and money. knowing i was the kind of person that will try and help. i made a huge mistake. one that i really learnt a lot from. i lost a total of a 5-digit sum of money. betrayal on his part. foolishness on mine. that turned my life upside down. i couldn't accept it. i was so shocked and upset. imagine your own brother did that to you? how would you feel? the pain within me was overwhelming. i started doing stupid things. things that i regret. smoking, drinking, etc. i would take long walks and stay out late. alcohol would be my solution. i didn't share what i was going through with my family. i kept it to myself. things got out of hand. then one night while i was in bed thinking. when my tears started rolling down. when i started to breakdown. God spoke. that changed everything. that was what that really mattered. it got me back on track once again. healing took place slowly, but eventually things went back to normal. it took months, maybe even a year. i took things back into my own hands again. i realised that the past cannot be changed. and i shouldn't dwell in it. even till today, my parents do not know about it. i'll probably not share this story with them. my last year in poly i started slacking. it was the wrong time to. it was the most important year of all. and i needed to maintain my results to get a good overall GPA. unfortunately, my self-discipline wasn't there. i did badly for my last year. i still graduated of course, but not with the GPA i would like. after poly, marks the start of Work. now this really OPENED my eyes to the world out there. i was so tempted to go abroad with my friends. they went to Taiwan on a short trip to relax and unwind. some of them were enlisting for NS soon. obtaining my pes status was delayed. they found i had irregular heart rhythm during the medical screening. they made me go for many follow-up checkups and screenings. they even put me on medications for a couple of months. i wasn't aware i had this condition till i went for the screening. it really took me by surprise. i had to wait for 9 months before getting enlisted. so i decided to go on a job hunt. i managed to get a job fast as my friend was also looking for one. sadly, he didn't manage to get it. they wanted someone who could commit for at least a couple of months. i worked at v'hive and was stationed at Causeway Point. the sales manager and i couldn't see eye to eye. i only worked there for about 2 to 3 weeks? but i didn't see the point in working there any further. to be honest, the pay was alright, but working hours were long. i quickly search for another job and jumped ship. the next job was an admin job that was office hours. pay was normal at $6 per hour. honestly, there wasn't much to do at all. i would complete the work they gave me fast. then i'll be free for the rest of the day. they assumed that i had nothing to do at all. when in fact i completed everything they assigned to me. this job lasted for a month. after that i decided to take a break. i went on a 1 month getaway. a week in Koh Phangan, Thailand. back to Singapore for a day. off to Kuala Lumpur for 3 days. back to Singapore for less than a week. off to Nepal for a slightly more than a week. i had lots of fun in that month. going to different places, experiencing new things. when i returned in june, there was still no news of my enlistment. i decided to go on a job hunt again. this time i wanted to go back to the telemarketing line. i went for quite a number of interviews. one was for starhub and they told me they will inform me if i made it. the other was for a new company that was just starting up. they said they will get back to me too. i prefered the new company as the pay was more attractive. thankfully, that company got back to me and i managed to get the job. eventually, starhub called me as well, but i was already hired. i sticked to the company from june to december. i was the very first full-time staff the company hired. i saw staff come and go as well. the pay was good so i didn't have any complains. however, there were still office politics every now and then. also, there are times when i didn't agree with the management. i would state my point and not hold back. thankfully, my points were taken. i only received my enlistment letter in december. i was enlisting in on 6th of january. with only a month of notice, i decided to quit my job. the reason was becasue i wanted to take the time and enjoy. i was happy and upset at the same time. happy because i finally received my letter after so long. upset because i knew my 2 years of freedom would be gone. on the 5th of january, i had my medical appointment at nuh. the doctor told me that my condition was normal. irregular heart rhythms do happen to certain individuals at times. he said to stop the medication and to come back 3 months later. he wanted to see how my condition would be like without medication. i was quite relieved knowing that there was nothing wrong with me. i was also thinking of changing my PES status since the doctor said i could. however, my enlistment day was the very next day. if i were to change my PES, i had to wait for months again. i decided not to wait any further and just proceed with it. i don't want to waste any more time waiting to enlist into NS. So 6th January 2009 came, my life in NS began... (...to be continued...) |
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