Part Deux.
my name is Shawn. The Message.
Tunes. Them. Daryl Farhanah Hongyue Jian Chao Liu Yun Qing Xiang Serene Previously. Beautiful Like You. Hi Blog ! Ep 1.4 Ep 2.3 - my name is Shawn II Ep 1.3 - my name is Shawn. Ep 4.2 - The Difference Between Colleagues & Friends Ep 3.2 - 3 Months Later... Ep 2.2 - New Year; New Hope. Ep 1.2 Chapter II Ep 7.1 - The Real World. The Past. May 2004 June 2004 July 2004 August 2004 September 2004 October 2004 November 2004 December 2004 January 2005 February 2005 March 2005 April 2005 May 2005 June 2005 July 2005 August 2005 September 2005 October 2005 November 2005 December 2005 January 2006 February 2006 March 2006 April 2006 May 2006 June 2006 July 2006 August 2006 September 2006 October 2006 November 2006 December 2006 January 2007 February 2007 March 2007 April 2007 May 2007 June 2007 July 2007 August 2007 September 2007 October 2007 November 2007 December 2007 January 2008 April 2008 May 2008 September 2008 December 2008 May 2009 June 2009 July 2009 August 2009 September 2009 October 2009 December 2009 March 2010 April 2010 May 2010 July 2010 December 2010 June 2011 Credits. This skin is produced by Headlight Productions. The icons are from Three More Steps. All codes are meticulously hand-coded, and can not be used as basecodes or reference. All css and javascript in the code passes validation. © Copyright Headlight 2008 - Forever. All Rights Reserved. |
Previously On Shawn's Blog
Wednesday, June 27, 2007 8:51 pm
failure.
Man, it's been nearly an entire week since I last updated! Miss me? L0L! I'm kind of down right now because I failed my common test paper. It's the first paper I failed in Poly. =[ How? 39% only leh! *Sighz* oh well... I just hope that I don't screw up my final year in Poly. There's a retest in a couple of weeks, but I seriously do not feel like going for it.
So yeah, you guys should guess my now that school has officially reopen. It's been tiring these few days especially when you are unable to sleep well at night and when things just cloud your head. *Sighz* I'm ok, I can still survive. I don't really like how my life is right now, but I can't change it. That's the saddest part. Sometimes I wish that just one good thing can happen to me each day, but that never happens. Maybe it does once in a few days, but never once everyday. Perhaps I made a lot of wrong decisions in life and that's why I have to live with it now. =[ Hmmm... I'm not updating on my daily life because there really isn't much to talk about. Since school reopen, I have been really tired everyday and I just don't have the mood for anything man. It's tough when you are out here alone. Have you ever thought of what life would be like if you were born in a different family? I think about that all the time, but don't get me wrong. I won't want to change my family. Life would probably be much different right now if I was born in a different family. That's for sure. Oh well, at least I'm off on every Fridays. Hopefully, I'll be able to relax and take things easy this coming Friday. No plans yet for me. Perhaps staying at home would be a better option? I don't know. Life just feels strange recently. Yeah, strange's the word. Especially when I'm alone. That's the thing! Whenever I'm around friends, everything would be ok and I'll be having a great time as usual. However, when I'm alone... I guess I tend to think a lot? Or perhaps, reality sets in? Man... I don't know what I'm going to do... *Sighz* Take care you guys. =] "If you have the opportunity to play this game of life you need to appreciate every moment. A lot of people don`t appreciate the moment until it's passed." - Kayne West
Previously On Shawn's Blog
Thursday, June 21, 2007 12:56 am
Stress.
Ok, I think I'm stressed out. I have no idea about what. I just feel so odd right now. Suddenly I have absolutely no mood to do anything. I seriously think I'm going to screw up my final year. I have a miniproject to submit by next week and I have no idea what to do. My final year project seems to be getting nowhere. My studies are going downhill. Finances are such a burden. Dad's going to kill me when he see the phone bills. Mum isn't doing too well recently. I haven't been sleeping well at night. WTH IS WRONG!?
School's reopening next week and I'm worried. I feel like quitting man. I realise engineering isn't really what I want to do anyway. Oh man, this really sucks. Perhaps the reason why I can't sleep at night is really because of STRESS. Damn. I don't know what I'm going to do. I still have my software engineering miniproject to worry about and I don't know a thing. This is crazyyy... I had minimal fun this week. I just need to talk to someone badly now man because I don't know what I'm going to do. It's just hard typing stuff out at this hour and tearing and thinking about everything. I'm not being emo. I'm just really stress out right now and worried about stuff. I can't do this on my own man. What do I do now? My back's against the wall. There's nowhere to run to. No place to hide. Noone to talk to. It's insane. It's like an endless chain of problems. You solve one, then you have to solve the next and the next and the next and there's just no freaking end. I just wish that things were different. I don't regret anything that has happened to me, but I just wonder what things would be like if my life was different man. Sometimes I just wish... wish that things were different... I need a doctor... or someone... anyone... =[
Previously On Shawn's Blog
Sunday, June 17, 2007 12:02 am
Botak Jones.
Ok, I seriously think that I have sleeping disorder. I have not been sleeping well for the past few nights and that day I felt someone kicked me. The next day I felt pain in the chest area and the following day my toe bleeding. Damn! It is crazyyyyy!! I keep getting nightmares too and now I'm scare to go to sleep. L0L! How? =[
Anyway, have you guys tried Botak Jones before? The US Ribeye Steak there is nice! To be honest, the price is reasonable too! It's $14 for 200g of steak, a whole lot of fries and coleslaw too! No, it isn't a restaurant either! Surprised? L0L! It's a stall in Kopitiam and I think there are around 5 outlets in Singapore. The nearest one for me is at Clementi! Nice! Nice! It is nice... I LIKE! I'll go again soon once I have the money! Cash leh! Kopitiam mah... Know something? I still have yet to buy anything since the Great Singapore Sales started. No feel leh and budget too. Oh well, I think it will last till at least the end of the month right? Should I buy the $65 Adidas bag? But I think I need to get some accessories first! How? Oh... I think I want to open a POSB or DBS account for convenience purposes. The problem with the UOB one is that there isn't a monthly statement, so everytime when I work or for school stuff and they require the monthly statement, there will be a problem. I got not enough money to open an account though. L0L! Ok, short entry!! I'm stopping here for today! ahahah people always complain my entries too long! L0L! I'm lazy to blog more too! K guys, take care and have a nice day hey hey... Have a nice day! =] "Guard well within yourself that treasure, kindness. Know how to give without hesitation, how to lose without regret, how to acquire without meanness." - George Sand
Previously On Shawn's Blog
Monday, June 11, 2007 8:00 pm
weird dream.
Ok, I just woke up from my nap. I had a weird dream...
I was on this bus to God knows where. I was sitting beside this girl. I think she's younger than me la because she looks younger mah. Yeah! She's pretty too! Suddenly she said to me "Hey, you know Joachim right?". I said yeah and we started talking and flirting... You all know how the timeline in dreams goes right? It's like so much faster than in reality that sometimes it is so scary because you could be in one place at one moment and another in the next instance. Ok, continue story... ...within 5 seconds, my arm was over her shoulder and we were snuggling and continue talking about what, I have no idea... You all know how we tend to be unable of remembering certain things or people during the dream when we wake up? Yeah, so read on... ...there was this person sitting in front who turned around and started talking to her. I have no idea who the person is or at least I couldn't remember. I cannot recall the conversation they had also. Ok, screw that la not important. L0L! The next part wasn't made up at all. It was a true DREAM experience. Please feel free to laugh your balls off because it is somewhere hilarious... ...the strange thing about her right is that whenever she looks away and looks back at me, her face will change!! Ya! Ya! Like you know in China they always got this performance where the performer can change his mask each time he turns away and looks back? Don't know never mind, but it's freaky because she isn't wearing a mask! AND! Everytime she turns away and looks back, her face will become uglier seh!! OMG! Then the LAST face was jitao one freaking abigail sia! Even worse than Ugly Betty! WAH KAOZ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! -.=" Ok, not end of dream yet. The next part is like so weird also because I will never do such a thing in real life la. Aiyo, this is a crazy dream... ...still, we continued talking. Yeah, I cannot believe it either. This proves that I look at inner beauty more than the outside! Chey Chey!! Anyway, she started getting really flirtatious with me and I returned the favour. She started saying stuff like "But you don't even like me and all. =[" Blah Blah. Apparently, I replied saying "Nono. I DO like you!! Really!!". Then I wanted to show that I have feelings for her by giving her my number. She tooked out her mobile phone and ask me to key in my number. I saw in her inbox that there are messages from Joachim! Ok, scary. I didn't see the messages la, I just went and tried to key in my number. I keep pressing the digit '9', but nothing appeared on the screen!! When, it finally did appear, her phone auto shut down!... The dream only gets even more weird from here on... ...so I said no problem and I took out my phone and asked her to key in her number. During that time, we reached our destination and the driver was chasing all of us out impatiently. In like 2 seconds, both the doors were closed and there were only less than 5 of us left on the bus. The driver was bitching about how he was going to tell our parents and all about us not getting off the bus. WEIRD LA DAR! Apparently, during that period I didn't see her already and she's missing for the rest of the story... This is the part where it proves that Aquarius are rebellious when restricted... ...I stood up and said "It's not like we are not paying you or something". I think I said something like that, somewhere along that line la. The driver got irate and I pushed him back into one of the empty seats. A mini riot started! Another guy got up from his seat and was about to whack the bonkers out of the driver... THEN I WOKE UP!!! Really wake up already! So my eyes were open already la. *OUCH* I felt a sharp pain at my left side near the kidney area. It felt like someone had kicked the sh!t out of me while I was sleeping. The thing is that there isn't any scars or marks or anything. Luckily, the pain subsided already. Ok, moral of the story is... Lovers are just like friends; they come and go. L0L! WTH!! No, I'm just kidding!! ahaha! Moral of the story is... Sleep well at night! L0L! Yeah! I seriously think that I have sleeping disorder or something. I haven't been sleeping well at night recently. It's like I want to sleep, but I can't. Then I'll toss and turn for very long before I'm able to sleep. Sometimes, I can't even sleep at all. Then everytime I will wake up at around 8am. So early for holidays!! I will try to get back to sleep after that and sometimes I can, but if I do, I'll wake up at 11am or 12pm feeling super tired. How? I think I should see a doctor, but I get the feeling the doctor won't know what's wrong also. Maybe he will say stress? HOW? =[ Anyway, I fell asleep at around 6.25pm? I received a call from Fei Ge at 6.19pm just before I sleep! Perhaps, that explains how he's related in the story. Yeah, but no link also. Anyway, when I woke up, I cannot recall what he said to me or what I said to him before I went to sleep. It's like I kept thinking and I sort of figured it out after half an hour, but I don't know what else I said also. This is the thing about me, when you call me just before I sleep, I'm like HIGH? Sometimes I don't even know what I saying. Here are the 5 different levels... Level 1: Awake - lying and lazing around, but no intentions of sleeping yet. Yeah, I know what's going on la. I'm paying attention la. Level 2: Sleepy - mind's wandering off to dreamland. I still can pay attention to everything that you are saying and hold a proper conversation. I'm capable of remembering everything we talked about when I wake up. Level 3: High - sleeping with my eyes open. I can still reply normally, but my mind isn't thinking about anything except sleeping. When I wake up, I can only recall certain parts of the conversation over time. Level 4: Drunk - eyes closed, but mouth speaking. This is when you shouldn't talk to me because I'll start blabbering nonsense and stuff you won't like. When I wake up, I would be wondering what you called me for. Level 5: Asleep - what? jogging mehs? This is when the phone continues to ring. When I wake up, I'll be thinking oh you called me ah? Yes, so the ideal situation is call me at level 1 or 2. Anything other than that isn't really appreciated. L0L! Yeah, and try not to get offended by me when I'm at level 4. L0L! Ok, back to reality already!! Let's see, I didn't manage to sleep on Saturday, so I was super tired yesterday. However, service was great! I was full of energy during the entire service leh!! Power!! I went with Dennis and his cell group. They were nice! I feel like I'm a ksiao resident in his cell group leh. L0L! After service, met fei ge to pass him something before going to Outram Park to wait for Khairul. I was super tired when I reached the station just before 2pm, so I sat down and waited for him to arrive. I fell asleep while waiting. He reached at 2.30pm and we proceeded to Chinatown Point for lunch. After that, we went to China Square Central because I had to help fei ge collect his printed jerseys. The guy was nicer than I thought and he's the English speaking type! He told me how to walk to Peninsular Plaza too. So Khairul and I slowly walked there because budget mah. We went there to take a look at guitars and I bought 2 individual strings, while he bought a whammy bar. After that, we really slacked around and wander around aimlessly. I was waiting for fei ge actually, then in the end I cannot wait already, so we went home. zZz. This morning I was supposed to meet Malbindar at 10am at Jurong East. I called him around 9.45am and told him to meet 10.30am instead, then I fell asleep. Before I knew it, I received a phone call from him and I still thought it was early la. I asked him what time and he said 10.30 la. I was shocked, so I rushed la. Then go everywhere also wait. Wait for the bus so long. Wait for the MRT so long. In the end reached at 11.30am and we head to Little India. He needed to do some stuff for his photography class, so I helped him out a little. We went to Blue Diamond for lunch before he headed to school to develop the film while I head home because I was super tired. I had no idea why. I slept on the bus during half the journey. According to him, it was something they had put in the food. Ok, nothing else to blog already! Hopefully I won't have any more weird dreams tonight! L0L! Take care all and have a great week ahead! =] "Understand that the right to choose your own path is a sacred privilege. Use it. Dwell in possiblity." - Oprah Winfrey
Previously On Shawn's Blog
Saturday, June 09, 2007 12:34 am
laptop's back!
Yay!! I'm back on my Toshiba laptop!! Woohoo!!! The FEEL is so much better compared to my desktop man. Yay!!! Anyway, 5 days without blogging makes Shawn's blog inactive. =[ So let's see...
Monday and Tuesday, things were not so good due to some misunderstanding, but it's all good now. Yeah, didn't really study or sleep well in the end. I screwed up the common test paper pretty badly, but I'm just hoping that I can still pass. =[ Wednesday, I went with Alex, Dennis, Gavin, Jeremiah, Kelvin, Leonard, Tim and Weixuan to Qingxiang mum's funeral. I hope that Qingxiang and his family are coping well. After that, all of us except Dennis went over to Gavin's place. We played mahjong till about 8pm plus before going for dinner. Oh!! His dog likes me!! Yay!! What can I say? I'm likeable! L0L! After dinner, we left for home! Thursday, I went to Toshiba service centre to collect my laptop! I took the MRT to Kallang and took a cab from Kallang to the place. $4! L0L! My laptop is all good right now! They even fixed my down button for free too as it wasn't supposed to be part of the warrenty. Woohoo!! The keypad looks brand new too! After collecting my laptop, I took a cab to SSDC to fetch fei ge before going to Redhill. I went to the AXS station to print the movie tickets for Ocean's 13 in the evening. The paper that came out was the admission ticket and I thought it was the receipt. I went like "That's the ticket!?". L0L! We went to lunch after that and I accompany fei ge to see the doctor and the dentist. I hope that you're feeling better bro and thanks a million for the AX cap!! I left around 5.45pm to meet Alex, Dennis, Gavin, Jeremiah and Weixuan for the 6.50pm movie at Vivo City. Ocean's 13 was alright I guess, at least it's better than Pirates of The Carribean 3. L0L! We had dinner at SuperDog before heading back home. Friday, I met Leonard in school about 1pm. We took a bus to town and went to UOB first because I wanted to replace my damaged debit card. They told me I had to call the call centre for replacing damaged debit card because they could only replaced damaged ATM cards. In fact, I just called them and I will be receiving my new UOB debit card in 3 to 5 days! We went for lunch at Kobayashi before proceeding to Apple Centre after that to settle my MacBook Pro. In the end, they told me that they can't install the Bootcamp thing without the cd and they didn't have stock for the Windows XP Home Edition and the Professional Edition cost $288. I told them I'll get the cd and come back another day. *Sighz* We went over to Far East Plaza and I managed to get a pair of slip-on shoes. I think nice leh, but Farhanah said that I'm becoming like a mat. =[ *Sniffz* We went to Marina Square to walk around, but didn't manage to buy anything. So we had our dinner at this Dim Sum cafe called "Bao Today" and the Dim Sums were good! We proceeded to the airport after that to meet up with Farhanah and her boyfriend before sending Gavin off. When I reached home, it was 5 minutes to 12am. -.- Since Tuesday, I haven't reach home everyday till after 11pm. Fortunately, I'm staying home today to rest and relax a little. I'm tired!! L0L! I have not been sleeping well this week. I don't know what's wrong, but I don't think anything's wrong either. It's just that I can't sleep at night that well and I wake up early in the morning for no reason. How? =[ Eh... I wanna go eat Seoul Garden lehh!! Go with me? I wanna go eat Dim Sum too! Oh, here's my wishlist for June! If you're feeling rich or nice, then buy for me k? =] It's in order and from #1 being the most wanted! L0L! #1 Adidas Dark Blue PVC Sling Bag $65 #2 Adidas Living Jacket $83.30 #3 Bucket Belt $40? #4 Bling Necklance $20? #5 Nike Pouch $30? #6 Levis Relaxed Straight Jeans <$90 #7 Dark Green Polo Tee $30? #8 Camera <$500 #9 Wallet $50? #10 Pencil Case $20? Yup! Buy for me k?? Ahaha, I'm super sleepy right now, so that's all from me for now! Take care everyone and have fun ! =] "Never let the fear of failure be an excuse for not trying. Society tells us that to fail is the most terrible thing in the world, but I know it isn't. Failure is part of what makes us human." - Amber Deckers
Previously On Shawn's Blog
Sunday, June 03, 2007 11:55 pm
the butterfly effect.
Yay! First post of June! L0L! How's everyone doing? I miss my laptop. =[ I haven't receive any calls from Toshiba yet. Man, they are really taking their time! Well, at least I don't have anything to distract me from my studies right? I can imagine if my laptop was around, then I would be going online and chatting and gaming and doing everything else except studying. L0L! Anyway, maybe my laptop spoilt for a reason yeah? Hmmm, but I realise that it isn't such a big deal afterall. I mean honestly, I think I had more fun since my laptop decided to part from me. As in, I actually spend more time with friends outside because I don't have anything to do at home. Yeah, and that's a good thing. In fact, it's a great thing la! =]
Ok, last month was an alright month for me and I still can't believe it's over so fast man. I had a whole load of fun especially during the 2 weeks when my parents were away in Europe. Heh! It was a wonderful and amazing experience!! I didn't spend that much money compared to the previous month. Well, don't count in the MacBook Pro because my dad's going to sponsor me! Yay! Isn't he nice? Then again, it's a family computer, so he should pay for it right? =X However, I realised that I went drinking 4 times last month. Uh Oh hot dog. How? Yeah, I need to cut down and not go drinking anymore unless my friends ask me. In fact, I went drinking today again. L0L! Social drinker!! Have you guys heard of this term called "Butterfly Effect"? The phrase refers to the idea that a butterfly's wings might create tiny changes in the atmosphere that ultimately cause a tornado to appear (or prevent a tornado from appearing). The flapping wing represents a small change in the initial condition of the system, which causes a chain of events leading to large-scale phenomena. Had the butterfly not flapped its wings, the trajectory of the system might have been vastly different. Recurrence, the approximate return of a system towards its initial conditions, together with sensitive dependence on initial conditions are the two main ingredients for chaotic motion. They have the practical consequence of making complex systems, such as the weather, difficult to predict past a certain time range (approximately a week in the case of weather). To put it in layman's term, the things that you have or experience today might not be like that it if there was a minor change in the past. Yup, I was thinking about it on Friday when I took a stroll back at night from Bukit Batok interchange to my house. Don't worry, I wasn't EMO or anything, I just wanted to take a walk and think about everything man. It was an amazing walk for like 30 minutes or so? It felt like a trip down memory lane. I started to recall so much from my life in Primary school to Secondary school to Poly. It was a really wonderful feeling and I walked past the badminton court where I used to play badminton with my primary school friend! Yeah, that was just one of the many things that I recalled. I suppose everyone is thinking about what has any of these have to do with the Butterfly Effect. Hmmm... just think about it. You shouldn't regret anything that you did all these while. The reason being, you wouldn't be where you are today if you didn't do certain things in the past. Perhaps, you might not even meet the people that you met. Sure, you may regret not studying hard or not working hard or some other stuff. Just imagine, if something as little as a butterfly is able to change the course of everything, then how much impact will you have if you didn't do the things you did? I thought about it and I realised maybe I screwed up my PSLE for a reason, maybe I got into Tanglin Secondary for a reason, maybe I didn't do well for my 'O' levels for a reason, maybe I didn't get into a good class for a reason, maybe I didn't get into Aerospace for a reason, maybe a million other things... Everything happens for a reason. Sure, at that point of time I may feel down and upset and disappointed and all. However, think about this. If I did do well for my PSLE... I would have gone to SJI. I wouldn't have met all the wonderful and amazing people I have met. I would probably be in NS now after completing my 'A' levels. I'll probably still be that introvert kid I was in Primary school. I probably would't end up in church and become a Christian too. Get what I mean? I know now that all these things that happened to me, both good and bad had to happen. If any one of these small things didn't happen, I wouldn't be here right now typing this. My life would be different and yes, I do think of "what ifs" all the time. I think about what if I was born in a different family. What if I was brought up differently. What if I got better grades. What if I didn't meet such a person. What if this, what if that. However, no matter how much I think about it, I never ever thought about changing my life. I'm happy and contented with my life and with everyone I met. Sure, there's been ups and downs, but hey, isn't that part and parcel of life? What would life be without any obstacles? Yes, smooth, but horribly boring! Sure, I've met people who I wish I've never met, but then again, they are the ones who make me a stronger person today. What would it be like if everyone you meet in your life is fabulously wonderful? Yes, that would be ideal, but we all know how the world is like AND you wouldn't be a strong person then because you have never taken a fall before. Is Professor Shawn making any sense? L0L! Ok, the moral of the story is: Be happy with what you have today and live life with no regrets! Chey Chey, I think I can become consultant liao. L0L! I think everyone should know this about me... Although I'm a very EMO person and I do get extremely down at times, but I'm still happy at the end of the day! Yup! Eventually, things will look up if you want them to. Oh, you know what was the best part of that entire walk back home? It was the last song that played on my phone before I reached home. This song is by Howie Day and it's entitled "Collide". The chorus goes like this... Even the best fall down sometimes Even the wrong words seem to rhyme Out of the doubt that fills my mind I somehow find You and I collide The last 2 lines!! How cool is it, that at the end of the day, I manage to meet all of you!! Especially those close ones of mine! Heh! Yeah, so I would like to dedicate this song to everyone that knows me! The song is on my playlist on the left on the screen. Just double-click on it and listen to it! =] Anyway, I'm pretty tired right now. L0L! I went out in the afternoon to meet Malbindar, Serene and Hongyue for drinks at Holland Village! I met Alex after that in the evening for dinner and to study!! Man, my common test paper is on Tuesday and I'm a little worried. I hope I'll be able to ace it! L0L! So my plan for this week is Tuesday evening go for farewell dinner with Kumar because he's booking in on Thursday. Wednesday, accompany Gavin for the day and send him off at the airport. That means 5th time going airport this year. L0L! Oh oh, anyone wants to spend Friday with me? It's a special day!! 2 months!! Heh! I'm stopping here for now! Take care everyone and have a well deserved break! =] "We could never learn to be brave and patient, if there were only joy in the world." - Helen Keller |
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