Hey guys! Sorry for the extremely late update! Happy New Year to everyone! Yes yes, I'm 10 days late! L0L! Still, better late than never right? Yeah, I know the first post of the year is properly freaky. Yesterday was really one of the biggest turning point ever in my life. I realised that you can never trust a person completely. The only person that you can trust 100% is none other than yourself. Basically, the phrase "Every Man For Himself" is nothing less than accurate. Well, I guess I was naive to think otherwise. It hurts more when you realise what the person you cared about the most is capable of doing to you. The worst part is when you have done no wrong ever to the person or the person's love ones, yet you get treated in such a way.

Can you forgive me again?
I don't know what I said
But I didn't mean to hurt you

Oh well, what's done is done. Where do we go from here? I have no clue. I guess we both still need some time to think about things through before making a final decision. Sometimes I wonder why I can be so forgiving after getting cheated and scammed like that. I think many others in my shoes wouldn't do the same. I'm in a dilemma and I just want to know what's best for ME right now. Sorry man, but I have to think about myself right now correct? I really hope you can understand and respect the decision I make.

I heard the words come out
I thought that I would die
It hurts so much to hurt you

It's really nice of you to say all the things in the tagboard and I really do hope that you mean it. Especially the part where you said this "other den my gf (cos she's my life partner) and my parents, u are the most impt to me. really." I really hope you meant that and yes, you really do have to make me believe it and earn back my trust. I know that you are a good person, but we all do make mistakes and it's how we learn from it that counts right? I hope that you will change for the better with or without me in your life. Can you promise me that?

Then you look at me
You're not shouting anymore
You're silently broken

Well, I guess you guys can tell that my new year hasn't started out well yeah? I mean it's really a bad start. On the last 15 minutes of 2007, I was in tears, so I didn't expect 2008 to be a good year. Furthermore, the past 10 days have been a real torture and struggle emotionally. It's hard just thinking about everything that has happened and I really don't want to talk much about it yea? I hope you guys don't ask me about it and if you do and I say I don't want to talk about it, then please drop the subject k? I really appreciate everyone's concern and I really want to thank those who hear me out and gave me much needed advice.

I'd give anything now
to kill those words for you

Khairul, thanks for always accompanying me to listen to all my nonsense and problems time and time again. I truly appreciate it from the bottom of my heart la. Seriously. Thanks for all the wonderful bonding sessions at our usual void deck hangout. Although I know you are a very "relac 1 corner" person. L0L! But still, thanks for ALWAYS listening and giving me your thoughts and advice. Oh ya, Happy 20th Birthday! 10th Jan! ahaha! I won't forget! =]

Each time I say something I regret,
I cry "I don't wanna lose you!"

Mal, thanks for just being around on Wednesday before I went to settle things. You really made me feel happier and more composed and relax. I think if I didn't meet you, I would have already broken down seriously. The advice you gave me really helped alot and thanks for just being there when I needed someone. Also, thanks for giving me a phone call earlier to check on how I'm feeling. I really do appreciate it! =]

But some how I know that
You will never leave me, yeah.

Dennis, thanks for taking me to Church for the past 2 weeks and for hearing me out and telling me what I should do. Seriously, I think if I didn't talk to you about it, this matter wouldn't be solved yet. I would properly not talk to the cgl about it because I would still be wondering if it's still the right thing to do. Thank God I did and I finally manage to discover the truth amongst all the lies. Thanks man. =]

'Cause you were made for me
Some how I'll make you see
How happy you make me

Michelle, thanks to you and your fiance, this issue was finally resolved. I truly respect you as a leader. Without your help, I would never find out the truth behind everything. Thanks for the advice as well and thanks for talking to him and helping both of us settle things out. I appreciate everything you have done to help and I will listen to your advice, but at the same time I'm going to think everything through before making a decision. Thank you. =]

I can't live this life
Without you by my side
I need you to survive

You, you know who you are la. Thanks for telling the truth and not denying everything you took from me or did. It takes alot to admit what you did especially after doing such hurtful things. I respect that you finally admit your mistakes and take full blame for it. I respect you for wanting to repent and be a better person. I know that you will be capable of doing, but it will take time. Just know who you are as a person and the people who are important in your life. Peace yea? =]

So stay with me
You look in my eyes and
I'm screaming inside that I'm sorry..

I think for now I'm starting a new life, one which is different from the past 3 years. I guess it's better to rely on yourself and not others. Trust yourself more than others. I guess it's going to be a hard transition for me, one that I might even be able to accept and one that I might not even be ready to do. Then again, it's something I have to do for myself. Oh well, nobody said life was going to be easy right? Sometimes, I really wonder why all these things happen to me? I always wonder what I did to deserve all of this? Oh well. =[

And you forgive me again
You're my one true friend
And I never meant to hurt you

Anyway, I left out so much from last time! My common test results are out and I did reasonably well! I'm happy with my results la. Guess what? My FYP open house is next Friday! After that, I don't have classes on Monday and Tuesday anymore! Woohoo! Yes, it also means Poly life is coming to an end in slightly more than a month. Wow. Can you imagine 3 years just flew by like that? Pretty amazing right? The worst part is I don't want to be an engineer! L0L! I realise that maybe I should be a DJ or TV host since I like to talk so much! L0L! REALLY REALLY! I would like to try what it's like to be a DJ! Oh well, as for now it's just completing Poly and entering NS life! I have no plans for my future yet, so I'm hoping that I start to think about it seriously! L0L!

And you forgive me again

To all my Poly friends and classmates, these 3 years have really been CRAZY! Thanks for the awesome and incredible times we shared. The wild and crazy things we did and basically the FUN we had together! I really hope to keep in contact with all you guys because I do enjoy the company! People always say that "Friends always come and go, but true friends will always stay!". That's really true la. I mean it's hard to find a true friend that stays with you forever! If I'm able to stay in contact with my sec school friends, then I think I'll be able to do the same for my poly friends as well! =]

You're my one true friend

Alright people, time to sleeps! Thanks for sticking around with me! Oh btw, I'm getting back my MacBook Pro! Yes Yes! The one that was "lost", but please don't ask me why or how alright? Alright then, take care everyone and have a good year ahead! Peace! =]

And I never meant to hurt you

"Repentance may begin instantly, but reformation often requires a sphere of years."
- Henry Ward Beecher

"It is much easier to repent of sins that we have committed than to repent of those we intend to commit."
- Josh Billings

The above 2 quotes are just for you. Repentance isn't something you can accomplish within a day or two, it takes time. For you to repent, you have to change. For you to change, you have to believe that you can. I believe you can. Take care. =]