Guess it's time I should update. So a week of my holidays is over and it was really wasted due to empty promises? I don't know, but I guess I should have known better. I feel that I trust people too easily. Oh well, so I stayed home for most of the days. I can't do much anyway because I don't have any money. I've been thinking about lots of stuff for the past few days. Yes, I tend to think alot when I'm alone. Well, the worst part is they aren't positive. Alot has happened recently. In fact, alot of bad stuff. It seems like I need some sort of miracle or something to happen before I can be happy and smile again. It sucks whenever I think the next day will be a better day, but it never happens. Especially this week, when I keep hoping since Monday that the next day will be better, but it just gets worse. What a "Great" way to start October eh? Next week is my very last week of holidays before school reopens. To be honest, I'm not keen.

Seize the day or die regretting
The time you lost
It's empty and cold without you here,
Too many people to ache over

Avenged Sevenfold - Seize The Day

Sometimes if you stop and just think about life, you will realise that it's pretty meaningless. We, humans, are only destined for death, so what difference is there to die younger or older? Either way, you are still going to die whether you like it or whether you don't. Now, that's life for you.

When its time you fill the void
My whole life has been destroyed
And everyone around me says
My time is running out

Papa Roach - Time Is Running Out

You think about relationships, friendships and the things people still do to hurt and harm you. I don't get it. Why do they do such things if they care about you? Perhaps, they don't in the very first place? Then, why act as if they do? Ever thought about Utopia?

Utopia - An ideally perfect place, especially in its social, political, and moral aspects.

Now, weren't that be great to be in a place like that?

You say I'm looking really bad,
You say I'm looking really sick
And I don't even care
I never really did

A wise friend once told me the two most important things in life: Relationships and Money. What if you don't have both? That's how I feel. I don't have money and to be honest, I don't have a tight relationship with anyone. Not even my own family, so it makes me think how close I can be with friends when I'm not even close with my own family.

So when I'm out of control
And I'm out of my mind
Just remember one thing,
I think I'm just fine

Whenever I get closer to someone, the friendship never works out and goes sour in the end. It's hard to talk to others about it when they don't face it. That wise friend faces the same problem as I do, perhaps that's why we can click. Nothing I can do about it.

if you do not like who i am
why bother being nice
if you cannot take me for who i am
why bother to try
if you don't want to see me
why bother pretending
if you have something against me
why bother hiding it
if you don't want to talk
why bother to even try

Get it? ATB.