For the past few years, I've been trying to find someone who I can actually open up to. Apparently, I don't have that kind of luck. Although I've found friends who I can share some of my personal stuff with, I haven't really found anyone who I can actually show my true emotions to. Hmmm... Tough. I have no idea why I'm typing this anyway, probably suffering from Depression. Well, maybe it's me that don't open up to others. The problem is that currently, I don't see anybody that I can open up and really relate my problems to. There are actually a few, but I don't think they understand my problems and I don't want to be a burden to them either. The past few days, my past came back. It started to haunt me again; over and over again. There were so many "If"s; what if I did this and what if I didn't. Somethings just cannot be forgotten or perharps not easy to be forgot. It is frustrating to discover what would have happened IF not for this or that. I try to forget, try to move on and how I wish it's that simple. I thought about the people whom I met, the way I treated them and the way they treated me back. Sometimes or perharps most of the time, my family, godbrothers/sisters and friends were never there when I really needed them. It is hard to find someone who will actually be there when I need him or her. I've said enough and I shall stop here. I need some time alone...

"Guilt is anger directed at ourselves--at what we did or did not do."
- Peter McWilliams