Rock On!

Beautiful Like You.

2011-06-05T00:05:00.003+08:00

This song has been stuck in my head and iPod recently. I feel like I can relate to it and the lyrics are so meaningful. Just search for Lee Dewyze and you'll be able to find the song. Well, I keep saying in every post that I'll try to update more often. However, the more I say that, the less updates I seem to post. In fact, this is the FIRST post of 2011. Goodness, can you believe it? It took me 6 months to blog ! So what have I been up to?

- Enrolled into SIM-RMIT Business Management Full-Time w.e.f 3rd Jan

- ORDed on 5th Jan

- Celebrated my 23rd Birthday on 15th Feb

- Got my Class 3 Driving License on 13th Apr

- End of Exams on 9th May

- Started Work on 11th May

- Exam Results out on 2nd Jun

I'm not too sure if I missed out on anything. However, that's basically what I've been up to. Firstly, studying and secondly, working during the holidays. I'll be heading to Bangkok on the 23rd of Jun and I'm extremely excited as it's my first time going there! I'm planning to go on a crazy shopping spree and visit some attractions too.

The past few days haven't been going so well. Yes, I did achieve good results for my exams, but that happiness was short-lived. I ended up really mad and frustrated that day. Just when I thought I reached my limit, I fell ill. Everything happens for a reason. Perhaps it's a warning, a sign of worse to come. I felt hurt, annoyed and disappointed.

Maybe I do need some time alone to self-reflect on certain issues.

Why do I feel more sensitive towards certain friendships compared to others?

Is there a reason why I'm treated like that?

Did I make the wrong choice?

Is it too late?

What will my next step be?

How do I forgive and overcome this?

Recently a friend told me that I've always time for others, but not for myself. He's right and I'm quite sick of it. I don't want to be the one who always gets the ball rolling like "Hey, want to go hang out?" or "Hey, how are you?" It gets really tiring after awhile. Why do I even invest so much time in it?

Yes, perhaps I'm feeling this way because I'm emotional. Or maybe this is what my head is telling me. I can't always be the one to give in. I don't understand how some people can underestimate me. Well, they can go ahead and do that, but I see right through them. The best part is I'll act like I've no idea what's going in and see how far they are willing to go. Sometime it's funny, really funny to just watch at how much they truly underestimate me.

Alright, enough of negative thoughts already. I have been meeting some old friends over the past few weeks. It's interesting to see what they've become and how they have been doing. Sometimes I wish that some of them would stay nearer to me, so that it will be easier to catch up. However, I believe everything happens for a reason and I have to accept that.

So what do I intend to accomplish or do by the end of the year?

- Short getaway towards end of the year

- Investments

- Take more photos for my photo book

- Marina Bay Sands SkyPark (Swim)

Well, I'm not going to promise to update often this time! I realise that I don't really blog unless I'm feeling emotional or if there's a real need for me to express myself. Hopefully that changes. Anyway, thanks for reading! Have a great year ahead! =)

Hi Blog !

2010-12-14T18:02:00.003+08:00

Dear Blog,

Boy have I neglected you for the past 5 months. To cut to the chase, I'm finally clearing my leave and working forward to my ORD on 5th Jan 2011. A lot has happened in just 5 months. Both good and bad. Well, I guess everything happens for a reason, so I try not to dwell on the negatives.

I'll be pursuing my Degree next year, starting on 3rd Jan 2011. I'll be doing the Bachelor of Business (Management) at SIM, RMIT. Just yesterday, I went for the course briefing and I'm quite concern in fact. I don't know if I'll be able to make it. I've always want to go straight to the workforce after my NS, however my parents and close friends insist on me studying. Hopefully, I can make them proud and get the degree. *Sighz* the feeling of going back to school.

I'm thinking if I should find a flexible job as my schedule isn't so pack for now. However, the textbooks are quite insane. $266.60 for 4 books to be used in just one semester!? I can only imagine how much I'm going to spend every semester, and these books are freaking thick! I guess my mindset isn't ready to start studying again. To be perfectly honest, I'm pretty worried and dreading to go back to school.

Well, I'm very proud of what I've managed to achieve in my time during NS. A lot of people always have the misconception that being a clerk is an easy job. You get to sit in the office the whole day and relax. Well, that's true if you have a good officer. Let's just not talk about mine. Last year, I was told indirectly that I wouldn't be able to handle and cope well doing the audit when it was my turn to be in charge. So I decided to prove him wrong, I left and started from scratch. For the audit this year, they were not able to spot a mistake from me. Speaks a lot about my character, give me the benefit of the doubt and I'll do my best to prove you wrong.

I'm glad that I took this path, as I managed to meet some of the most crazy and fun people! It was like a totally different culture. I enjoyed and embraced it. More importantly, I know I've met some friends for life and I'll definitely invest my time and effort into these friendships. Marc, Liang and Benson/Miller/Toby (one of the best big bros of all!), thanks for the wonderful memories you guys left. Finally, I'm over and done with NS. Thank God.

I'm left with about 2 and a half weeks before school begins. I'm going to take this time to revamp my room as there's going to be a BIG change. A new wardrobe, book cabinet and printer. I've already cleared whatever things that I do not want anymore, so it's just a matter of shifting things around. Hopefully, I'll be able to give my room more of me. Besides revamping the room, meeting up with friends whom I haven't been contacting for sometime now! Apart from that, continue to work on my fitness. Lastly, I guess I should start hitting the books? That's definitely not a good feeling. I should come up with a schedule and try my best to stick to it, if not I'll end up wasting my remaining December.

I realise that when my friends start doing shift work, I have lesser time to spend with them. Hopefully, I'll find some sort of way to overcome this and not lose contact with them as both of them are 2 of the most closest friends that I have. I guess this is something I have to work on and not give up or else the friendship would be gone.

Alright, that's all for today. At least, I finally managed to accomplished what I set myself to do for today. =)

"Hold on to what's important in your life and not let go, because you'll never know when you'll lose it."

Ep 1.4

2010-07-31T21:03:00.003+08:00

hello ! it's been a long time ! missing for 2 months.
i'm stopping the my name is Shawn series till NS is complete.
That's when i'll sum everything in my NS life. =)

anyway, i have been busy with ndp duty on Saturdays.
yup! nearly all my Sats have been burned.
Thankfully, today was the preview show already.
all that's left is the actual day on 9th Aug. =]

i'm really happy that i'm left with just 4 more months.
i officially ORD in Jan, but i'll be clearing at least 14 days in Dec.
i can't believe that it has been more than 1.5 years already!
well, another part of my life is almost complete!

i've seen, learn and experienced a whole lot in NS.
more importantly, i've made some of the bestest of friends! =)
especially the one that stays just a street away.
that's rare to find man !
i'm definitely going to stay in close contact with those that have been treating me really well.
don't worry! you guys won't be forgotten! promise ! =)

anyway, i've been thinking of my future.
my current studies haven't been up to standard.
i'm thinking of what's best now.
my parents want me to study and get a degree at least.
however, my previous company want me back.
they don't mind me working short term either.

my good friends told me to study too.
they say it's more important.
i should listen to everyone because they are older and probably wiser.
however, i'm not a studying kind of person.
i want to have a head start in my career too.
so i'm caught in a dilemma.
i have to sort my thoughts out and decide soon.
i won't want to miss anymore Uni enrolments!

"Never in a million years did i ever think that i will find some of my best friends in NS." =)

Ep 2.3 - my name is Shawn II

2010-05-09T11:05:00.000+08:00

(...continue...)

i met this girl whom I grew to like.
we went out on 2 different occasions.
she opened up and shared her problems with me.
she told me how she felt about me.
then i found out she got attached.
i was shattered after that.

imagine approaching someone for their number.
the first time you ever approached a girl.
you thought you had something going on with her.
then you found out she decided to go with someone else.
from then till now, i have not approached anyone else.
i still feel the pain and i'm still healing.

in poly, i commit my life to Jesus.
i felt something was missing in me.
it's like i wasn't complete.
having that special relationship helped a lot.
especially in forgiving and healing.
i became to change.
i stopped swearing.
i began to walk into the right path.
unfortunately, i seem to be losing my way again.

the person who brought me to church turned on me.
he made use of me and used my own emotions against me.
he made me believe he was in need of help and money.
knowing i was the kind of person that will try and help.
i made a huge mistake.
one that i really learnt a lot from.
i lost a total of a 5-digit sum of money.
betrayal on his part.
foolishness on mine.

that turned my life upside down.
i couldn't accept it.
i was so shocked and upset.
imagine your own brother did that to you?
how would you feel?
the pain within me was overwhelming.
i started doing stupid things.
things that i regret.
smoking, drinking, etc.

i would take long walks and stay out late.
alcohol would be my solution.
i didn't share what i was going through with my family.
i kept it to myself.
things got out of hand.

then one night while i was in bed thinking.
when my tears started rolling down.
when i started to breakdown.
God spoke.
that changed everything.
that was what that really mattered.
it got me back on track once again.

healing took place slowly, but eventually things went back to normal.
it took months, maybe even a year.
i took things back into my own hands again.
i realised that the past cannot be changed.
and i shouldn't dwell in it.
even till today, my parents do not know about it.
i'll probably not share this story with them.

my last year in poly i started slacking.
it was the wrong time to.
it was the most important year of all.
and i needed to maintain my results to get a good overall GPA.
unfortunately, my self-discipline wasn't there.
i did badly for my last year.
i still graduated of course, but not with the GPA i would like.

after poly, marks the start of Work.
now this really OPENED my eyes to the world out there.

i was so tempted to go abroad with my friends.

they went to Taiwan on a short trip to relax and unwind.

some of them were enlisting for NS soon.

obtaining my pes status was delayed.

they found i had irregular heart rhythm during the medical screening.

they made me go for many follow-up checkups and screenings.

they even put me on medications for a couple of months.

i wasn't aware i had this condition till i went for the screening.

it really took me by surprise.

i had to wait for 9 months before getting enlisted.

so i decided to go on a job hunt.

i managed to get a job fast as my friend was also looking for one.
sadly, he didn't manage to get it.
they wanted someone who could commit for at least a couple of months.

i worked at v'hive and was stationed at Causeway Point.
the sales manager and i couldn't see eye to eye.
i only worked there for about 2 to 3 weeks?
but i didn't see the point in working there any further.
to be honest, the pay was alright, but working hours were long.
i quickly search for another job and jumped ship.

the next job was an admin job that was office hours.
pay was normal at $6 per hour.
honestly, there wasn't much to do at all.
i would complete the work they gave me fast.
then i'll be free for the rest of the day.
they assumed that i had nothing to do at all.
when in fact i completed everything they assigned to me.
this job lasted for a month.

after that i decided to take a break.
i went on a 1 month getaway.
a week in Koh Phangan, Thailand.
back to Singapore for a day.
off to Kuala Lumpur for 3 days.
back to Singapore for less than a week.
off to Nepal for a slightly more than a week.
i had lots of fun in that month.
going to different places, experiencing new things.

when i returned in june, there was still no news of my enlistment.
i decided to go on a job hunt again.
this time i wanted to go back to the telemarketing line.
i went for quite a number of interviews.
one was for starhub and they told me they will inform me if i made it.
the other was for a new company that was just starting up.
they said they will get back to me too.
i prefered the new company as the pay was more attractive.

thankfully, that company got back to me and i managed to get the job.
eventually, starhub called me as well, but i was already hired.
i sticked to the company from june to december.
i was the very first full-time staff the company hired.
i saw staff come and go as well.
the pay was good so i didn't have any complains.

however, there were still office politics every now and then.
also, there are times when i didn't agree with the management.
i would state my point and not hold back.
thankfully, my points were taken.

i only received my enlistment letter in december.
i was enlisting in on 6th of january.
with only a month of notice, i decided to quit my job.
the reason was becasue i wanted to take the time and enjoy.
i was happy and upset at the same time.
happy because i finally received my letter after so long.
upset because i knew my 2 years of freedom would be gone.

on the 5th of january, i had my medical appointment at nuh.
the doctor told me that my condition was normal.
irregular heart rhythms do happen to certain individuals at times.
he said to stop the medication and to come back 3 months later.
he wanted to see how my condition would be like without medication.

i was quite relieved knowing that there was nothing wrong with me.
i was also thinking of changing my PES status since the doctor said i could.
however, my enlistment day was the very next day.
if i were to change my PES, i had to wait for months again.
i decided not to wait any further and just proceed with it.
i don't want to waste any more time waiting to enlist into NS.

So 6th January 2009 came, my life in NS began...

(...to be continued...)

Ep 1.3 - my name is Shawn.

2010-04-27T09:26:00.006+08:00

my name is Shawn and this is my story...

this series is to give an insight of my life and why i am the way i am.
some of my close friends still don't understand the way i handle things.
i always have a reason to do the things i do.
hopefully the ones i truly care about will come to realise who i am.

this series will also remind myself of the things i've overcomed.
the things that built me into who i am today.
events that have changed my life.
situations that i have to face.
mistakes that i've made.
maybe this entry will help me resolve certain issues in my life.

15th Feb 1988 - marks the day i was born.
that means, 22 years walking on this very earth.

my Family is small, just the 4 of us.
dad, mum, elder sis 3 yrs older than i am.
and how can anyone forget Leo?
my 1.5 year old baby pup!

well, i've never been close with my family.
perhaps you could say because of circumstances?
dad is the kind that "anything goes".
mum always feel she's right and wants things her way.
sis, never really cared or took care of me.
physically she's there, but i somehow don't feel her presence at times.
myself, the stubborn and rebellious brother.

i don't share much with my family.
i tend to keep to myself, my thoughts, my problems.
sometimes i would share it with my closer friends rather than them.
i admire some of my friends who are so close with their family.
both their parents are like friends to them rather than parents.
sometimes i do feel awkward when others ask my about my family.
what do i tell them?
i've never really been able to answer that question properly.

life in Primary school was a start of something new.
people would make fun of me because i was soft?
however, i made really close friends with some.
others, i didn't really care much about.

i wasn't the study kind of person unlike my sister.
her results would always be uncomparable to mine.
the worst part was she was selfish.
she didn't want to help me with my studies at all.
i slowly grew to hate her.

my mum used to cane me for getting poor results.
maybe i wasn't putting as much effort as i should.
however, i did try at least.

then something happened in pri 4 towards the exams.
my mum was hospitalised.
she had to go through an operation.
it was probably the first reality check i had at the age of 9.
after the operation, she had to stay in hospital for quite awhile.
i would cry sometimes in the showers without my dad knowing.
i didn't want him to get worried more than he already was.

that was probably the first turning point of my life.
i realised that i should do things on my own.
be initiave and take life in my own hands.

the hardest part was leaving to Secondary school.
i wanted to get into the same school as my closer friends.
but it was tough and my results weren't so good either.
i didn't manage to get into any of the schools nearby as well.

i was very disappointed when i knew the school i was going to.
it was so difficult to part from people you have been for 6 years.
i felt secondary school was just to get over the 4 years as fast as i could.
i didn't really care what was going to happen.
that was the wrong way to enter into a new environment.

i was very reserved during the start of secondary school.
i didn't talk or socialise much.
thankfully, there were more outgoing and friendly people.
they approached me first and i started to open up slowly.
friends came and go.
some left for different schools.
some went to different classes.
me? i kept a low profile and did what i have to.

the close friends that i made, i still keep in close contact.
some others i still do as well, unfortunately not as much.
so 4 years came and go, so did the 'O' level exams.
i thought i did fairly alright.
however, it didn't seem that way when the results came.

L1R5 was 25 and L1R4 was 19.
that dashed my hopes of getting into the course i wanted to.
i was pretty lost and didn't know what to study.
my options were limited as well.
i decided to take up an engineering course in the end.
the reason being it can open more doors for me.

so began the life in Polytechnic.
everyone had this idea that life in poly is better than in jc.
are you freakin' kiddin' me ?
whoever said that in poly you don't have to go everyday is nt true!
lessons started from morning all the way till evening at times.

well, before school officially started, there was an orientation.
it was quite a boring one to be frank.
although i managed to meet my classmates.
still, it was not lively at all.

my approach in poly changed.
i decided to be more approachable and open up to others first.
i've learnt that everyone is shy when they first meet.
if i don't make the first step to know the person, would they?
if they don't, then are we just going to sit there quietly?

so things became better in poly.
i managed to get to know different people from different walks of life.
there were many different classes as well.
so i had the chance to get to know more people.

we had lots of fun times in poly.
from skipping classes to having long breaks.
from sleeping in class to making fun of the lecturers.
from copying assignments to spending long hours doing projects.
it was all the nonsense that made me grew close with my poly friends.

poly life changed my view and perspective of a lot of things.
things change and people change too.
i started to see the world for what it truly is.
i started to change my opinion of certain things.
i felt a change in myself as well...

(...to be continued...)

Ep 4.2 - The Difference Between Colleagues & Friends

2010-04-26T21:31:00.001+08:00

Ever encountered a situation at work where you're unsure how to make a decision?
Do you help the person because he/she is a close friend of yours?
Or do you separate work from your personal life?
Would you help someone out more because that person is a close friend?
Sometimes, it's really hard to separate the fake from the real?
Who do you trust and who's truly a friend to you?

Colleagues or Friends?

Don't be fooled by people being nice towards you at work!
Colleagues are merely people you are forced to work and put up with.
Some don't even bother or think about your feelings.
They just want to get the job done and that's it.
Some even go all out without thinking about others.
They would stab you in the back in a heartbeat just to get on top.
These people are clearly not your friends.
They are nice to you just for companionship.
The cold hard truth is that they do not care about you.
They just want their own life to be better.

Friends are the one that truly care about how you feel.
Even if they are faced with a situation that could affect their career.
They would still consider their friend's feelings.
Yes, not all friends are necessarily like this.
However, I'm pretty sure that true friends are.

My theory is that Colleagues are just there to work with you.
Basically, they would make use of you to get an upper hand.
They don't bother to really mix and socialise much.
They are selfish and would stab you in the back in a heartbeat.

Agree? Yes/No ? Please do comment! =)

Ep 3.2 - 3 Months Later...

2010-03-28T22:12:00.003+08:00

I just realised that this is my FIRST entry for 2010.
Wow, 3 months just went by fast... Really fast.
It's still consider the start of 2010, but it seems longer than that.

Most of my time is spent in camp nowadays.
Sometimes, even over the weekends.
Ah well, I chose this life and I still prefer it.

A lot has happened in just 3 months.
It almost seem unreal.
Let's try to rewind and see what's been going on.

January marks the end of my 1st semester for my specialise diploma.
I just checked my results today and it's rather disappointing.
1 B and 2 C+ with a GPA of 2.66. *Sighz*
Guess it's my fault for not putting more effort in it.
Should I continue with it next semester?
I don't know if I want to because of the time constraint.
Nowadays, most of my time has been invested in camp.
Furthermore, we are going to be in charge of the NDP.
Rehersals starts next month for 4 months!!
So you can count the number of weekends that's going to be burn. =[

February was an amazing month !
Promotion to CPL ! Weee! $50 more!
Also, Chinese New Year ! Ang Baos !!
Not forgetting, my 22nd Birthday ! More Loves !
My birthday was on the 2nd day of CNY.
So I decided to have a Pre-Birthday celebration with my poly mates.
BBQ at Pasir Ris! Photos are in facebook =x
Now I feel like having a BBQ again!
Post-Birthday celebration with camp mates in camp.
Steamboat in our very own pantry.
But SOME people, I don't want to say who only, take MC and PAIDAO!

March marks the end of my very first intake!
It's a shame to see all of them go.
It's such a waste for some of them as well to see the vocation they got.
The very next week was the new intake.
We only have 30 Recs this time.
We were involved in both the Rockwall and Strongman Challenge this month.

Seeing some of the people I'm close with leaving is not fun.
Marc's last day was yesterday during the Strongman Challenge.
Meow's last day is the coming Wed.
Sometimes I feel very unlucky. Why?
Wo de hao peng you quan bu ORD before wo.
No fair man. All the good people are leaving before me. =[

For some reason, this intake seems to be quite relax.
However, now there's only 2 admins, so it's going to be challenging.
Oh well, I don't really bother much about this intake.
I didn't socialise as much as I did in the previous intake.
The reason is simple, what's the point?
At the end of the day, I didn't get the guys I want from the previous intake.

Furthermore, it shouldn't be ME to fight for the company.
I'm only a NSF and that's it.
This is what I've come to realise:
Whoever comes in or whoever goes, I don't care anymore.
Reason is simple, I'm still going to ORD whatever happens.
Sometimes, you have to be selfish and do what's best for you.
All I need to do is survive till 10th Dec.

Yes, I've already started to plan! Hehehee!
10th Dec will be my last day officially.
My last intake would be 117th !
After that, there will be a camp break till 14th Dec.
So I won't be seeing the 118th intake at all!
Weee!
It's still not fair man! All my brothers abandoning me! =[
*Sighz* What to do?
Some people ar.. Don't want to say who only.. PAIDAO!

Anyway, I've applied for NTU.
However, they have not get back to me yet.
I just tried my luck and hopefully there's a slot for me.
If there isn't, I'll probably proceed to study in SIM.
I do not wish to pursue Engineering though.

Thankfully tomorrow is a day off, so I can blog through the night!
It's a day at the Zoo tomorrow with the camp mates!
I haven't been there for ages too.
The best part is it is FREE! hehehe.

Also, next Saturday I'll probably be heading to JB with the poly gang!
Why? Because some people ar, I don't want to say who again.. PAIDAO!
I need a new pair of shoes ! Queensway anyone? =)

This shall be it for now.
I'm afraid if I were to go on, I won't be able to get up tomorrow.
Then I'll really get hammered as I'm holding on to the Zoo pass.
L0L!
So take care everyone and I'll try to blog tomorrow if time permits! =)

Ep 2.2 - New Year; New Hope.

2009-12-31T15:28:00.003+08:00

The last day of 2009.
Lookin' back, it's been occupied with NS.
What can I say?
I was enlisted on 6 Jan !
So the whole year has basically been about National Service.

2010 shall mark the end of my 1 year service.
Do I look forward to 2010 ?
Hmm.. I'm not quite sure actually.
Somehow, it feels the same.
It simply feels like just another year.
Maybe because I'll still be NS while most of my friends will be done with it by 2010.

Ah well, 2009 has been alright I guess.
Here are some of the more memorable events:
Jan - Enlisted into SCDF
Feb - Celebrated my 21st & POP from recruit life
Mar - Took up driving
Jun - First experience driving a car
July - New OC for department, Medical results & Enrolment into Digital Media Creation @ SP
Aug - Promoted to LCP !
Sep - Failed my first driving Traffic Police test
Oct - Batam trip with friends & Start of school
Nov - Posted to new unit and lovin' it !
Dec - Trip to Cambodia with dad

Yup, that's pretty much 2009 for you.
I could have very well missed out certain significant events.
What do I hope for in 2010 ?
New friends, better bonds, new hope!

I've been quite emotional for the past few days.
Due to certain stuff that I don't really want to share.
I don't want to start 2010 on a bad note though.
Sighz. This is what I do want to say..

I wish you could be more understanding.
I feel that I'm unable to connect with you like before.
It almost seems like you're a different person now.
Maybe you've changed, or I've changed.
I really hope that we can still work things out.
I'm honestly trying and I hope you do too.
That's if our friendship means anything to you.
If it doesn't, then let's just end it here.
I'm going to say this once again.
I don't want to be in a friendship that's one way.
This is truly how I feel and I hope you understand.

I shall end my entry here.
I don't want to be more emo than I already am.
Take care, god bless and Happy New Yr. =)

Ep 1.2 Chapter II

2009-10-25T20:31:00.003+08:00

A new season !
A new start !
A fresh beginning !

This is the second season on Shawn's blog!
Unfortunately, The amazing 1-week break has come to an end.
It would be back to work (or camp) tomorrow.
I'm not really keen on heading back to work.
However, I do miss my close friends whom I've not seen in a week!
So, it's quite a bitter-sweet thing actually. =x

School this week was interesting too!
I'm studying 3 modules this semester and I had 2 on-site classes the past week.
I'm quite happy with my module selections.
I'm going to learn to use 3ds Max, which is a software that creates 3D stuff.
Also the very important Adobe Photoshop would help me alot in future.
The other software is called Audacity, a digital audio software.
So yeah, with knowledge of all the above, I'm sure it will open more doors for me.

My dad has been asking me to go Cambodia in Nov/Dec.
I definitely do want to go!
However, I'm not sure if I can because of work.
I'm still uncertain if I'll be in the same unit by then.
If all goes well, I'll head on to the new unit in late Nov.
Hopefully, when I'm there, I'll be able to take my leave to go abroad.

I'm planning to go Cambodia as well as Batam again.
I really need to plan things out well.
I now have to balance out between work, play and studies.
2009 is coming to an end fast !
For some reason, I feel that it's going past way too quickly.

Although I've already started studying, I feel there's more I need to do.
I still have slightly more than a year left in NS.
I definitely want to make full use of it.
Doing things I've always wanted to do.
Trying something new.
Most importantly, have the best time of my life!

I know that once NS is over, life starts again.
I'll probably not have as much time as I would like.
Well, that also depends on what I'll be doing after NS though.
hehehe.

Alrighty, I'm going to stop here for now!
I'm going to turn in now !
Looks like it's going to be back to early nights yet again.
Ah well, take care everyone! Cheers! =]

Ep 7.1 - The Real World.

2009-10-18T22:20:00.002+08:00

hello world !

I'm back again ! heh!
Yes, it's like becoming a once a month entry again.
This is what happens when you become lazy!
Time to buck up Shawn!

So my last weekend was spent in Batam!
It was great for a short getaway and I enjoyed my time there!
Go-Karts, Banana-Boats, Kayaks, Massages, Food!!
Best of all, a 2-Bedroom Suite!
I spent below $250 in total for everything.

My friends and I are thinking of heading there again in December!
Wee! I'm hoping more people will come the next time!
My dad mentioned about going to Cambodia in December too.
Man, looks like December is going to be fun!

Anyway, school starts tomorrow !
I'm excited and anxious at the same time.
Hopefully, I'll be able to cope with my studies and do well.
I definitely want to learn as much as I can.
Even if this is not what I eventually decide to do,
it will still help me out a whole lot in the future.

Photoshop, Animation, Audio/Video Editing.
These are definitely some stuff that I'm keen on learning !
I need to get back to driving too!
I haven't been going for lessons since I failed my first TP.
In fact, I have not even booked my next TP.
I just checked and slots are only available in December.
Uh oh! I think I need to get back on it fast !

I'm just afraid it will clash with any plans to go abroad.
Ah well, we'll see what I can get to.
I'm thinking of going to other places in December.
Maybe Vietnam or Thailand?
But I'm fine even if it's Batam! Wee!

Anyway, I'm usually asleep at this timing.
However, I'm still awake because I'm off for the whole week!
Yayy ! A break from work at last !
So please do date me if you guys are free on the weekdays! =]

Oh yes, I'm going to talk about the Real World this time!
There's always this dilemma when making certain decisions.
Do you follow your heart or your head?
A wise friend once told me he doesn't understand why people say that.
Simply because the head is the one with the brain!
It's true in a sense, however the heart has feelings and emotions.

I'm the kind that will normally follow my heart.
However, recently things have been more complex.
I realised that you can't always please everyone.
The reason being you yourself would not be happy.
So you have to use your head and think things through.
Some decisions may turn out to be self-centered and selfish.
But then again, you can't possible always put others before yourself right?

I have a friend who makes decisions following his religion.
He feels he should do his best in everything and help as much as he can.
It isn't wrong, in fact it's very respectable.
Something I would love to do just as much.
But I've come to realise that if you do that, The Real World takes advantage.
The Real World doesn't care how good you are.
They only care about taking advantage of you to help them.
This irritates me alot as there isn't appreciation at all.

It has led to me thinking this..
The more you know, the more people will take advantage of you.
Therefore, there is no point to showcase your full potential.
I feel it's very unfortunate, but sadly, that's how The Real World works.
This is exactly what is happening to me.
People just keep throwing things at you because they know you can do it.
Even when you are busy and they aren't, they would still not do it.
How does that make me feel then ?

Oh well, noone said life was going to be easy.
It's an unfair world out there.
I guess sometimes you truly have to look out for yourself.
Think about yourself before putting others in front of you.
This is something I would definitely do from now on when it comes to work.

You can't always be nice and help everyone.
That's what I've learnt!
I'm going to stop here for now.
Although I won't be in camp tomorrow, it's still going to be a long day!
So take care and god bless! =]

Ep 6.1 - Righting The Wrongs

2009-09-23T22:55:00.001+08:00

我不知不覺又徘徊在從前
Unconsciously,
I have wandered back to the past again

秋風悄悄的呼喚聽來盡是孤單
The autumn wind calls softly,
filled with loneliness when heard

落葉的期盼片片左右為難
The yearning of falling leaves,
every leaf feeling caught in the middle

心走寂寞攀跟著飄進黑暗
My heart embarks on a lonesome climb,
then drifts into darkness

我不聞不問* 也許好過一點
If I don’t show interest in anything,
perhaps I would feel better

被遺憾關在房間掙扎只是拖延
Locked in the room by regret,
struggling is only to delay (what is to happen)

無望的空談一聲聲的輕嘆
Empty chatter with no hope,
soft sighs one after another

回憶扯不斷怎麼擺脫糾纏
If memories cannot be torn apart,
then how can one escape from entanglement

找不到方向往彩虹天堂
Unable to find my way,
(I) head towards the rainbow heaven

有你說的愛在用幸福觸摸懮傷
There’s the love you speak of
that is using happiness to touch sadness

Someway, Somehow, I feel I've lost my way.
Something just doesn't feel the same anymore.
Perharps, it's me or maybe, the people around me.
It's been totally chaotic this entire month.
My emotions are running all over the place.

I feel that I need a long break.
Away from everything that has been going on.
I want to get away from all the nonsense.
Things are so different without that someone to talk to.
Without that someone who understands.

Why is this happening ?
What have I done to deserve this?
Why can't things just be normal?
I don't get it.

The environment has totally changed.
Now, I dread waking up in the mornings.
As it simply means I have to face all the bullshit.
I only need sane and sincere people.
Not people who lives in their own world;
Not people whose thoughts are all wrong;
Not people who just uses you.

Where have all the happy times gone to?
Somehow, I can't seem to tolerate people that much anymore.
How did it come to this?

Life is full of choices.
We, ourselves, make these choices.
We are responsible for our own actions, choices and decisions.
Everyone is entitled to their own opinion.
Sometimes, others will feel the choice you make isn't right.
However, on your part, it feels like the right thing to do.
So how does one separates the Rights from the Wrongs?

Sometimes, we make decisions that will benefit ourselves.
Others will feel it is a selfish thing, but is it wrong?
How can one always put others before himself?
Especially when he knows that others won't look out for him?
So then, what's right and what's wrong ?

It's hard to find people who will always have your back.
That's why when you do find them, don't let them go.
I learnt alot today.
At the same time, I can't look at certain people the same anymore.

I realised that I have to separate Friends from Work.
Most colleagues are not your friends.
They're there because they're there.
I'm pretty sure that once they all out of your life;
They won't bother to keep in touch.
These are the people who I consider as colleagues.
People, you simply got no choice, but to work with.

Well, I still have to deal with it.
This is my absolutely sad life for you.
True friends are truly hard to find. =[
I won't take them for granted anymore.
You shouldn't too.

"Have no friends not equal to yourself."
- Confucious

Ep 5.1 - Empty.

2009-09-13T02:06:00.002+08:00

Tried to take a picture of love
Didn't think I'd miss her that much
I wanna fill this new frame but it's Empty

Tried to write a letter in ink
It's been getting better I think
I've got a piece of paper but it's Empty
It's Empty

Maybe we're trying, trying too hard
Maybe we're torn apart
Maybe the timing is beating our hearts
We're Empty

And I even wonder if we
Should be getting under these sheets
We could lie in this bed but it's Empty
It's Empty

Maybe we're trying, trying too hard
Maybe we're torn apart
Maybe the timing is beating our hearts
We're Empty

The Click Five - Empty

If there's one word to describe how I feel, it would be Empty.
As I type this, you're already on the plane towards there.
I'm already missing you.
This 6 months without here would be the toughest.

The person I can talk to about anything.
The person I know that will always be there for me.
The person I can talk with about my problems.
The person that motivates and encourage me.
The person who keeps me sane.
Most importantly, the person who loves me for who I am.

Although I know that you'll come back,
but just the thought of you leaving makes me feel lost.
Imagine, 2 of the people closest to you, leaving you on the same week.
I don't think I can ever find another person like you.

It really makes me start to think who my true friends are.
The ones that will be there when you need them.
I realised that people who I thought are my "friends",
are actually not.
They just befriend me to benefit themselves.

Sometimes, I just want to get away from here.
Get away from all the nonsense and backstabbing
and FAKE! FAKE! FAKE! people.
I'm seriously done with it.

I know that you'll be back after this 6 months.
However, without you here with me,
Life is going to be Empty.

Ep 4.1 - No Boundaries

2009-08-02T15:00:00.000+08:00

WOO !! August ! I Love August !!!
Yes ! LCP Shawn at last !
An amazing increment of $20.
I shall have a positive outlook for the rest of the month.
Things are getting better already. =]

However, I've somehow lost interest in driving.
My TP is on 10 of Sept, which is still a month away.
I should be focus and all, but for some reason, I don't care.
If I pass, then good. If I don't, I doubt I will try again.

So tomorrow is the promotion ceremony !
I just realised that it would be 8 months in NS already!
Oh man, I can't believe how fast it is.
Life is good.

I'm thankful and grateful for how everything worked out so far this year.
Last year when I received my enlistment letter, I wasn't too excited.
I was already mentally prepared to enter SAF and I didn't know much about SCDF.
Now, I'm so glad I entered into CD and got posted to a great unit.
Yes, 4th Div is 5 bus stops away, but the friendships I made in BRTC is priceless.
This comes to show that everything happens for a reason. =]

I'm not saying that everyone in there is nice, but there's always a choice.
I just don't mix with those egoistical that think they are better than others.
Thankfully, there isn't too many of those.
Sometimes, it just drives me nuts just being in the same room as them.
Maybe, it's a certain vibe or aura that they give off. L0L.

Oh those of you that own a Nintendo Wii, please buy and play Rayman Raving Rabbids!
It's damn irritaing and fun at the same time!
If you're having a bad day, get a friend and play that.
Your life will never be the same again!
Haha, please feel free to invite me over if you do have it! =x

Should I go Philippines this month with my friend?
It would be a great escape from work!
However, next month is audit, which means there will be lots to do this month.
Oh man, should I ? should I ?
I've never been there before too!
The good thing is my dear friend is from there, so I won't have to worry about any language barrier.
How? Tell me how ?

Alright! I'm going to stop here for today.
I love august!!
I'll leave you with this..

With every step, you climb another mountain
Every breath, it's harder to believe
You'll make it through the pain, weather the hurricanes
To get to that one thing.

Just when you think the road is going nowhere
Just when you almost gave up on your dreams
They take you by the hand and show you that you can
There are no boundaries.
There are no boundaries.

Cheers! =]

Ep 3.1 - Me, You, Us.

2009-07-19T08:04:00.004+08:00

Damn! July is a terrible month!
I HATE July!!
Things are just not going well...

Enlistment day was pretty screwed up.
Phototaking for Recruits was just as bad or worse.
New OC is just making too many changes.
I missed my driving practical lesson ($70).
Family issues.
Friendships.

I might even missed some other stuff.
What the heck, July is horrifying !
Thankfully, there are always those that keep me sane.
What would I do without you guys ! =[

Friendship is between 2 individuals, not more.
How I feel towards a friend, might not be the same towards another.
How is it that me not talking to someone affects you?
It's my choice to make and not yours.
Simply, none of your business.
If I do not like someone, that's my problem with that person, definitely not yours.
I do not understand how this angers you.
So, just stay out of it.

So, I've booked my driving practical test date!
10 of September. I'm pretty confident in failing it.
However, you never know if you never try!
I've cleared Stage 3 already.
This means only 4 more lessons and 1 Auto-Car lesson left!
After that, it would be revision all the way till the test day.
Somehow, I do regret taking my license. =[

There are people that still don't get me even though I've known them for years.
I've always been straight up with everyone.
I say things exactly the way it is.
How I treat you, does not mean I treat someone else the same.
If I don't like an individual, I just don't mix with him/her.
If you do not like mixing with me, then don't. If you have to tell me, go ahead.
Do not boss me around.
Trust has to be earned.
I'm always there for my friends if they need me.
Screw me once, shame on you. Screw me twice, shame on me.

Acquaintance > Friend > Good Friend > Close Friend > Best Friend > B.F.Fs!
From B.F.Fs, there can either be Romance or Bromance! =]
I hope with this entry, I managed to clarify certain things.
Mainly, more about me and how I hate July.
I would recommend that you get to know me and judge for yourself!
Tune in next time for another episode! Cheers! =]

Ep 2.1 - Progress & Breakups

2009-07-05T15:50:00.003+08:00

Goodbye June, Hello July!

Another month has passed, that means half a year has gone !
Soon, I'm going to see a third person ORD.
That means a step closer for me ! Hah!
Tuesday is enlistment day again! After that, 6 more enlistments to go!

Driving has been progressing well. Stage 1 has been cleared!
I'm not facing a little difficulty in lane changing, but it'll work out!
Perhaps slowly, but surely. =]

Have seen a few breakups recently...
Depressing and heartbreaking, but life has to go on.
I do not believe in a relationship having to "take a break".
It shouldn't even be classified as "complicated".
Either you're in a relationship or you're not. Simple.
A guy should never let a gal wait for his decision.
Either you continue the relationship or put her out of her misery.
Real men don't say "I think we need to take a break for awhile".
What the hell is that supposed to mean?
You should never leave another party hanging !

Alright, enough ranting...
So, a new OC is taking over the current one.
Things aren't really looking up right now.
He seems very particular in work and has real high standards.
He wants everyone to learn almost everything.
Ahh well, am not too keen with him taking over.
Someone save me! =[

Tomorrow's going to be a huge day.
My medical test results are going to be out.
Hopefully all is well and I'm healthy!
I do feel that something's wrong with me nowadays though.
I get tired easily and my bed time seems to be earlier.
Oh well, I can't wait to know the results tomorrow.

For those of you who didn't know, Zara is having a 30% sales!
If I'm not wrong, it started last week.
Unfortunately for me, I bought a tshirt from there 3 weeks ago.
I found out last week the price was $10 cheaper. =[
Have been spending quite a lot recently and I really need to cut down.

I'm stopping here for today.
It's raining and it means a good time to sleep!
Cheers to that!
Take care and tune in for the next episode! =]

Ep 1.1 - New Blood

2009-06-20T11:46:00.002+08:00

hello !

Haven't been blogging for more than a month! Yikes! This blog is collecting dust. =[

So life in BRTC is good. Somehow I enjoy going to camp everyday, but I still hate waking up in the morning. heh! =x
Getting to know more people is fun and everyone is nice, warm and friendly! Well, most. =x
This could be the start of something good, or great! =]

Yes! I'm getting promoted in August ! LCP Shawn! Sounds so cool man.
However, with great power comes great responsibility (yea... right...).
A $20 increment at last ! I get an extra $1 each day! In 5 months, I'll have $100.

I think I'm starting to have money issues. Learning to drive is not cheap ! It drains your savings faster than you can say "ihopeicangetmysalarysoon!". But it's fun ! So far, I've taken 2 lessons and both in the circuit, but it feels great when you start to get the hang of it. Hopefully I get to go on the road tomorrow!

I'm trying to find certain short-term investments that can give acceptable returns. Definitely not easy to find. My next month's salary will already be used to pay for my studies in October. $360 for a year to get a specialised dip in Digital Media Creation sounds like a pretty good deal to be though. Anyone interested in joining me ? Registration starts 7th July. =]

QX 21st party is tomorrow ! and we have yet to get him a suitable present. L0L! Let's hope he doesn't read this. Today's going to be quite boring because I do not have any plans yet. Hopefully, the tide turns and I'll be doing something for the rest of the day.

Alrighty, I'm going to stop here for today.
Tune in next time on Shawn's Blog!
Cya! =]

This Season On Shawn's Blog..

2009-05-01T14:26:00.005+08:00

Yes, my powers are back! I can finally blog again! YATTA!

So 5 months ago, you saw my last entry, which was last year.

Here's a recap of what happened since then...

Shawn was all smiles towards the end of 2008 unlike in 2007.

Shawn ushered in 2009 with joy!

Shawn enlisted into SCDF on 6 Jan 2009 at BRTC Jalan Bahar.

Shawn had an amazing 21st Birthday from 14th to 15th Feb at Sentosa Costa Sands.

Shawn POP on 20th Feb and became an office clerk.

Shawn attended a clerk course from 23rd Feb to 3rd Mar.

Shawn was posted back to BRTC to his dismay on 4th Mar.

Shawn went for his first driving Basic Theory lesson on 18th Mar.

Shawn is loving every moment in his life right now!

Yes, now I don't regret getting posted back to BRTC although the journey from home is longer. People there are fun and at least Jeffrey is also in BRTC although we are in different units. Office hours are long though. Mondays to Thursdays is from 7.45am to 5.30pm and Fridays ends at 5pm.

I can really make full use of the remaining time to do something fruitful. I'm working on my driving license right now as my Uncle doesn't really need his car anymore when his new office shifts nearer to his place. So I'm hoping I can get my license by October.

I intend to take a part-time specialised diploma in Digital Media Creation at Singapore Poly as well. Enrolment is in July and the course starts in October, so with a car, I can fly faster !

Travel plans to both Cambodia and Australia are on hold right now and most likely cancelled due to the Swines. Unfortunate, but I get to do other stuff with my 14 days of leave.

Time seems to fly real fast. We are actually nearing mid-year already. Days of being a Recruit seem to be quite vague right now. However, I did have a good time and I have made some very good friendships too! What a blast!

Anyway, my 21st birthday would probably be one of the most memorable one as well. I managed to catch up with some friends that I haven't met for a long time. Thanks all for coming and showering me with gifts! It seemed like just a few weeks back, but it's already May!

Oh, I'm actually exercising and working out for the very first time! YES! What an achievement! Haha.. Although I don't have the strength to lift heavy weights right now, I know slowly but surely I would be able to! Of course, there are always people that would laugh and make fun of me, but somehow it seems like it doesn't bother me. Hmm.. Cool eh? L0L!

I went swimming last week too! Great being back in the pool! The HomeTeamNS place is pretty cool only if you're a member. Non-members have to pay $3 to enter the pool. =[ Then, there's the jackpot room where you need to exchange at least $10 and the Gym which I heard you need to pay to enter even if you're a member. Rip off!

Ah well, life's good and Shawn is Good! I'm missing some friends that I haven't met for a long time, basically since I enlisted! Please date me! You guys have been missed! If you missed my birthday, take a look below! =]

Cake of The Year Award! Thanks Guys! =]

The ladies from Sec Sch!

Best Friends For LIFE!

B.F.Fs!

The Poly Peeps!

I think they are looking at the wrong camera. L0L!

I just wash my face you guys! =x

POP LO!

Yes, it's amazing, so amazing, so amazing, so amazing..

Thanks for sticking around with me!

In the next episode of Shawn's Blog..

"I trust that everything happens for a reason, even when we're not wise enough to see it."

- Oprah Winfrey

21st Birthday!

2008-12-29T01:50:00.003+08:00

Hey guys, I know it's still a month and a half away, but I'm making preparations already! So if you guys didn't know, I'll be turning 21 on 15th Feb 2009. It's actually on a Sunday. However, I'll need to book in at night, so I decided to bring it forward to Saturday.

The thing is Saturday is the 14th of February, which is also Valentines day. I know most of you lovebirds will be busy. My intention is to have it late at night like 10 or 11pm plus all the way till the next day. So I'm hoping all of you can come!

Anyway, I'm still deciding if I should do a chalet or just a BBQ. For chalet, I would need a minimum of 2 nights and pay 200++. However, I would definitely prefer to have that. I need to check on how many people would actually stay over before I book it though. If there isn't as many, then I'll most likely just do the BBQ.

Alright, details are as followed:
Who? ME!
What? 21st Birthday Celebration
Where? Sentosa Costa Sands Chalet
When? 14th Feb from 7pm
Why? Because Stone Cold Said So!
How? Bicycle, Bus, Car, Lorry, Motorcycle, MRT, Taxi, Van, Walk

Yeah, so do let me know if you guys will stay over?
Everyone is invited! Do let me know if you're bringing anyone as well!
Like your boyfriend, girlfriend, BFFs, etc.
You can always tag on my tagboard or drop me a message.
Please let me know before 6 Jan, which is my enlistment.
I would most likely be making arrangements before that.

Thanks guys and I hope to see all of you! YAY! =]

B&Js

2008-12-27T23:54:00.008+08:00

So I went to meet some of my Secondary school friends yesterday...

I saw my Primary school friend on the train as well! It was pretty surprising, so she's studying in NP final year now and she still contacts another friend from Primary school. She's working and intends to attend some hair stylist academy. Cool huh?

Anyway, I met Derrick, Hongyue and Khairul for awhile. Here's some photos!

Khairul's new gal

As you can see, Hongyue was too hungry

My lips are red because I drink blood.

Oh and I met Leonard today to catch up! I had a good time as well. I didn't know the last train was so early. When we reached the MRT station the last train was already arriving. We missed it in the end and I had to cab home. It was like $20 man! So expensive!

Check this out, I didn't know that the midnight charge will apply even if you board the cab before 12am. As in, it will be the normal price before 12am, but as soon as it hits 12am the charges come in. That's according to the taxi driver. I always thought as long as I enter the cab before 12am, there won't be any midnight charge. Oh well.

Alright, do take note of my next post! It will be about my 21st birthday celebration! I'm gonna bounce! Catcha soon~ =]

Fine, I'm Lazy.

2008-12-25T20:15:00.009+08:00

Well, Hello! Merry Christmas to all!

Yes, revival at last!
s u p e r s h a w n is BACK!

Now, this is tricky! Where do I begin? The last time I updated was in Sept! Good God man. So much has happened since. I've officially stopped working already. The reason being, I've received my Enlistment date. So check this out, I'm going in on 6 Jan to the Civil Defence and my PES status is C9L3. Oh no, Botakness in like 2 weeks!

Did you guys know that the first thing that 74% of ladies will take note of is the guy's hair?

Anyway, after waiting for like half a year, I'm going in at last. I'm excited in a way and I'm making an effort to meet my friends before I go in! I've been talking with them and keeping myself updated! So I realised I've missed quite a lot of stuff that has been going on, but have no fear, because I've managed to catch up somehow!

Felix: in army and POP already

Gavin: in navy and buang cars

Dennis: in OCS and sads
Leonard: in SIG and I saw him last Sat

Weixuan: in SISPEC and thinking of OOC

Siangyee: in OCS and ?

Nicholas: sign on air force

Binghong: in rifleman and I shouldn't talk about it

Keewei: in SIG

Bryan: 8 to 5 technician slacker

Kokchin: in SISPEC Echo

Panyuan: working for Sony, spotted at Orchard last Sat

Nigel: in SISPEC playing dota with Sergeant

Chusin: in Korea

Jaramy: in SISPEC

Jasper: in OCS armour unit

Khairul: what's new?

Zehao: in Airfoce 8 to 5 and smoking now huhs!

Syam: in Police

Serene: working and earning big!

Alex: Never Never Land

Weian: in Commando Demo Man and computer spoils HAHA! (see la, blow things up somemore!)

Adlina: working at science park

Suzana: in Cairo!

Daryl: in SISPEC
Finian: just returned from Iraq

Halim: in SCDF

Hongyue: just returned from China

Jian Chao: ORD and slacking

Kaihoong: in SISPEC Bravo

Junming: in SIG and when are you gonna meet me!

Vanessa: enjoying life and thanks for wishing me Merry Xmas!

Farhanah: having holidays and working

Qingxiang: moved house and bought 2 puppies!!!

Rachael: where did you go??
Rongshan: becoming gym instructor RESPECT!

Shazwani: career woman at Tuas

Andrea: I know you're in SIM!

Wei Qiang: in Police and becoming instructor?

Liuyun: ORD and doing internship

Derrick: in SCDF 8 to 6

See! I still know what's going on, don't say don't know! For those that aren't listed, no worries you are not forgotten! Perhaps Shawn doesn't love you as much. L0L! I'm just kidding! Your fault because you didn't update me.

Anyway, I don't really have many pics to post. The reason being my Toshiba decided to abandon me after 3.5 hard fought years. I knew we didn't see eye to eye right from the start, but I still gave it a shot. I guess things didn't turn out the way we wanted? Fortunately, Lenovo stepped into the picture and things got messy from there.

Yes, Lenovo the new love doesn't have many pics stored. She nearly gave up on me yesterday as well. Thankfully, she was able to recover from the shocking Fan Error. L0L! Lucky for me I managed to get her back yesterday.

Ok, so this is the pic of Qingxiang's pups! He bought a pair! The second one is called Chivas and the last one is called Choya. Yes, only he can think of such names. L0L!

And here's the pic of the meetup with Derrick and Shaz last Friday.

HAHA! All of us still look the same somehow! Feels like Sec school all over again.

I just realised I have an oval-shaped face. Shaz took this with her laptop's 1.3 megapixel webcam, but it still looks better than my camera phone.

Well, I've been watching lots of TV series at home recently. I can't believe Heroes and Prison Break will only return next year. Oh wello, I had no choice but to find some other shows to keep me sane.

Heroes; Prison Break; Brothers & Sisters; A Double Shot At Love; The Hills; are the shows that I'm currently watching. It's towards the end of the year and many shows have already been completed. In a way it's a good thing because I will be booking in soon and I can only come out on Fridays.

Oh, I feel that SCDF is paradise for NS. Here are some reasons why...

No Confinement, I'll book in on 6 Jan and book out 9 Jan.

Allowed to bring camera phones.

Shower Cubicles have doors.

So, I not only got into Paradise City, but I'm Pes C9L3 furthermore...

Morning run, we walk.

No pumping, but changing parade instead.

Alot of free time for us.

Oh well, like what Weian said, either get the Best or the Worst, don't get those in between. I just so happened to get the Worst. L0L!

I guess that's about it for now. Oh yeah, there's someone special that I'll like all of you to meet. I think most of you have yet to meet him. He has become someone very special in my life. I hope you guys won't judge me based on this, but continue to judge me for who I am. Please meet my darling...

LEO!!!

Yeah, he learnt how to jump onto my sofa today! Now he refuses to come down. He loves biting Eeyore's tail. I would need to do some discipline training soon before this 7 month old gets out of hand. Hehe...

Alrighty, I'm gonna bounce! I'm hoping to see more of you guys soon before I get enlisted into SCDF. So yeah, DATE me out if you can! Take care and Merry Christmas! =]

Hi!

2008-09-13T18:31:00.003+08:00

WHAT UP !?

So how has everyone been these few months? Let's see, the last update was in May. Now it's September. Oh no! I was inactive for 4 months! Allow me to try and update you guys on my life and hopefully you guys can do the same as well!

Yup, as you guys know, I was away in May for most of the time. First, I went to Thailand and it wasn't a very good trip, however it was a good experience though. Next stop was KL, it was a good place to shop and eat and buy gifts! The last stop was Nepal. That was definitely a great eye-opener for me. I had an interesting trip. Although I don't have any intentions of going back so soon, but I hope I will have the chance to go back again in 10 years to see the development.

In June, I decided to rest for awhile before looking for another job to keep myself occupied. I took a break for the first 2 weeks in June before starting work again. I went for an interview for a swim school for a customer service position. I was really hoping I would get the job because the pay was the best so far. I'm still working for the company right now.

July went by fast and I was occupied with work. However, after much convincing, I finally managed to bring home my first puppy on the 27th of July! A Shih Tzu which I named Leo! I'm still learning the best ways to train him though.

Now it's already September and I've yet to receive my PES status from the army. I'm quite beat up about it as most of my friends will be heading in this week and I'm still not there yet. I really do not want to be the last to enter into the army. It would really suck to see everyone done with army life and me still in there. Sighz. Well, at least there's Leo to keep me company.

Well, I haven't been in contact with some of my friends and I'm missing them alot. Most are already in the army and some are busy with work or school. Yes, I'm feeling lonely and emo. So please do stay in contact with me and ask me out if you get the chance! I hope that I'll be able to get my PES status by next week and hopefully enter the army before the end of the year. I can't imagine myself waiting till next year.

I guess I'm going to stop here for today. I can't believe Kevin Keegan resigned as manager of Newcastle! I really hope that whoever takes over, things will get better and the team will perform better. Oh well, till the next update then. Thanks for sticking around! Cya all soon I hope! =]

Koh Phangan

2008-05-04T23:56:00.005+08:00

Hey guys! It's been a pretty long time since I blogged. Well, this is the first entry in May and I'm hoping it won't be the last. Haha. Well, I guess I've been really busy after the exams. I actually started work 2 days after my last paper and I didn't really have anytime to enjoy. I've been working for about close to 2 months already and now I can finally take a break. Let me sum things up quick.

A place of hope and no pain,
Perfect skies with no rain

My boss told me that the company only needed me till end of April, so I'm out of a job right now. However, I've decided not to find another job just yet as I would like to take a long break. I'll be away for most of this month.

I don't belong here,
We gotta move on dear
Escape from this afterlife

I'm leaving on Tuesday for Thailand. Nope, I'm not going to Bangkok. In fact, I'm taking a plane directly to Ko Samui. From there, I need to take a ferry north to the place where I'm heading to, which is Koh Phangan! The place I'm heading to has absolutely no roads, so it's just the sand on the beach. It's going to be a great place to unwind, relax and forget about everything else. Hopefully, this trip will allow me to do some self-reflection and return with a clearer mind. I shall post photos when I return on the 12th! If you guys need anything from Thailand, let me know, I'll try to get them if I can. =]

I'm a house of cards in a hurricane
A reckless ride in the pouring rain

Oh, speaking of photos. I finally bought the Canon Ixus 80. I got the brown colour one because I thought it was unique and outstanding comparing to the rest. It cost me $400! However, I still feel that it's a good buy considering the price dropped from $575 when it first came out. YAY!

Can leave this place but refrain,
’Cause we've been waiting for you

Another thing is that I still have yet to receive my PES status for my NS. Looks like I'll miss the June intake and I just hope that I would be able to get into the September intake, if not I have no idea how long more I would have to wait. I have a checkup tomorrow at NUH and hopefully after that I would be able to submit all the necessary documents to CMPB and get my PES status.

So out of place don't wanna stay,
I feel wrong and that's my sign
I've made up my mind

Anyway, I would be in Thailand till the 12th of this month. I will be back in the evening after 7pm. You guys can still reach me when I'm abroad at my mobile number because I have the auto roam service. I'll most slightly be heading to Kuala Lumpur on the 14th if my friend and I are able to confirm the hotel booking. I will return on the 17th and I will be around for that week. On the 24th to the 31st, I'm heading to Nepal with my dad. That means I'll miss the graduation ceremony on the 30th. Oh man! I would like to see everyone for one last time before everyone graduates or gets into the army.

’Cause this time I'm right
To move on and on,
Far away from here

As for June, no concrete plans yet. I guess I would find a new job and earn more money. However, I'm planning a trip to Bintan with some of my year 3 poly friends. Hopefully, we would be able to get a good price and we will most slightly head over in the first week of June. This afternoon my dad was also asking me if I would like to go to Bali next month. Woah! That will be awesome too! However, I'm not getting my hopes up just yet. I shall be good and find a job in June to work till whenever.

Got nothing against you and surely I'll miss you

I really can't wait to go abroad. It's like a break for me finally after working for about 2 months. I guess I never really slow down and take a break for awhile after the exams. Well, no regrets though. Things would have been different if it wasn't due to certain circumstances. Anyway, I'm going to stop here for today. Take care everyone and I hope to see you guys soon! =]

"It is better to suffer wrong than to do it, and happier to be sometimes cheated than not to trust."
- Samuel Johnson

importance in life

2008-04-14T15:52:00.003+08:00

Hey guys, I have been putting some thought about the things that matter in life. Recently, I discovered that my heart isn't as normal as everyone else. Let me sum it up real quick.

I don't want this moment to ever end
Where everythings nothing without you
I'll wait here forever just to, to see you smile
'Cause it's true, I am nothing without you

My heart has irregular rhythms compared to a normal heart. I have like 10 irregular beats in just a second, which makes it pretty scary. In doctor's terms, it's very frequent PVCs. I was told different things from different doctors, so I'm not too sure which to follow. The doctor at Alexander Hospital said it isn't a problem if my heart isn't weak and thankfully, my heart is not weak. The doctor at Military Medicine Institute said the beats are abnormal and frequent and I might have to go for more test. My dad's doctor said I shouldn't be doing any exercise and I should take medication to reduce the irregular beats because in the future it may weaken my heart. The polyclinic's doctor said I shouldn't do strenuous exercise in the next 3 months. I asked him if I could do any exercise at all and he said it was better not to. Yup, I'm pretty bumped out about it and I guess pretty screwed in a way. Medical fees aren't cheap and medication will only cost a bomb. I just hope that somehow I will get better.

It's okay to be angry and never let go
It only gets harder the more that you know
When you get lonely if no one's around
You know that I'll catch you when you're falling down

Going through all of that really made me thought about the importance in life and how to lead it. Sometimes, I feel as though I'm not living the life I want. I feel that I've wasted lots of time and effort on people that don't even appreciate it. I don't mind putting time and effort into people, but the least they can do is appreciate it right? Is it so hard to be thankful and grateful? Why do people take things for granted? Why do people forgo a second chance to change for the better and be a better person? I know that if I'm ever given a second chance to learn from my mistakes, I will definitely take it and make the best out of it.

I want you to know
With everything I won't let this go,
These words are my heart and soul

I realised that I shouldn't be spending time and effort on people that don't appreciate anything. What's the point? I can't keep trying to please everyone around me like I always do anymore. Yes, I'm that kind of person and that's why people always take advantage of me. I know who are the people in my life that care and love me for who I truly am. I guess those are the people who I should spend more quality time with rather than those who only care about what I have or what I can do.

We came together but you left alone
And I know how it feels to walk out on your own
Maybe someday I will see you again
And you'll look me in my eyes and call me your friend

I guess I realised who I truly am as a person. I'm just your nice and naive 20-year old kid across the street you know? Yes, I'm unique and special in my own way and I believe everyone is. For me, I tend to think with my Heart more than my Head. It's a good thing in certain ways because I know I have a big heart and a big capacity to forgive. However, my best attribute is also my biggest downfall in a way. I tend to give in to others too much and perhaps allow them to walk all over me in a way. I have to find that balance, so that things will be better for me. It isn't always about the people around me. Sometimes, I need to be selfish and think about what's better for me.

Thoughts read unspoken, forever in doubt
Pieces of memories fall to the ground
I know what I didn't have so, I won't let this go

Oh well, enough of me ranting. I checked with the polyclinic's doctor and he said I won't be able to get into PES B. That really sank my heart. I just want to be normal like everyone else and do what everyone else does. It sucks to think that I'm abnormal compared to everyone around me. It just pisses me of. What have I ever done to deserve to be abnormal ? Oh man, I really hate going to the army to be a clerk. To me, it's just a waste of time and not worth it. My dad was asking me to take night classes if I were to get those 9 to 5 jobs, but I don't know if I still have the energy to study after work. I also need to have my own free time right?

But if you can't hold on
Let it go and come back in your heart
And if you can't hold on
Maybe it's not time for you

Anyway, I'm planning a trip over to Kuala Lumpur for a couple of days. Alex is still waiting for his passport to be ready, so we haven't decided on the date yet. However it should be between 12th to 18th May. Alex's friend can get us a good rate at this 4-star hotel called "The Royale Bintang KL". It's really cheap like 100RM per night for the room, which means SG$50. That means each of us only pay SG$25/night in a 4-star hotel smack right in the middle of the city, where the shopping district is. Isn't that awesome? L0L!

And if you can't hold on
On your very last try
I'll be there in the morning to pull you through

Also, my dad wants to bring me to Cairns in Australia for 5 days. It's sort of a Father-Son bonding thing. The thing is he can only go in either May or June. However, I'm working and I'm most slightly taking a week off in May to go KL with my friend, so I can't take another week off. Oh man, I have wanted to go to Cairns for such a long time already! I hope I can plan everything out nicely and make a trip there! Yup, not to forget another trip with my friends to Hanoi, Vietnam as well. I hope that would work out as well.

I'll hold on to this moment you know,
'As I bleed my heart out to show
And I won't let go

Oh well, right now, it's just about working during the weekdays and enjoying as much as I can over the weekends. I'm starting to like my job alot because there really isn't much to do here. Sometimes I just work for less than an hour and the rest of the day I slack off. Honestly, the most I worked so far is like half the day? The other half is spent during my own stuff. Haha. Yup, so that's the great thing about working here and there isn't much to complain considering that I'm given a laptop and there's internet access as well (that's why I can blog!). Haha. Yeah, so I guess I'll be stopping here for today. Take care everyone and I hope to hear from all of you again soon! Remember to SMILE! =]

"Be civil to all; sociable to many; familiar with few; friend to one; enemy to none."
- Benjamin Franklin

"Be honorable yourself if you wish to associate with honorable people."
- Welsh Proverb

moving on.

2008-04-09T17:51:00.003+08:00

Hello! I'm bored at work, so I decided to blog for awhile before I knock off from work. Yup! Work ends in about half an hour, so I shall spend the half an hour wisely by blogging! Well, life has taken a huge turn for me. I can't exactly say I'm all smiles and happy now, but still I'm feeling alot better. The period from Friday 3am to Sunday 1am was probably one of the most stressful days of my life. Thankfully, everything has been settled and I really hope all goes well for everyone.

I won't go into deep details, but let's just say I got cheated for close to a year on a 5-digit amount of money. Please do not ask for further details and for those of you who already know the full story, please keep it to yourself. I'll prefer not to think about such painful memories and move on with my life. I'm coping better compared to those 3 days and I pray that in time I'll forget about it.

Alright, on a lighter note, check this tshirt out from snorgtees!
http://www.snorgtees.com/peanutbutterandjellybff-p-288.html?osCsid=48145ebb112a3cf4ad354710a8fded7d
Yup, think of going to order this for myself because I think it's damn funny. L0L! Some guy is doing a mass order in hardware zone forums, so I'll place an order with him. It will probably cost SG$25 inclusive of the shipping, so it's a pretty good deal! =]

Also, check this other 2 tees from threadless. Unfortunately, they're out of stock, but I'm trying to request for a reprint. Hopefully, it pays off. How I wish Singapore carries such unique designs. L0L!
http://www.threadless.com/product/559/Adultery
http://www.threadless.com/product/868/Dulces_Vacaciones

Oh, Andrea's got the job at the ZOO as an animal show presenter! Man, good for her! She asked me to apply as well and I'm considering and weighing my options right now. L0L! Gavin's heading for Basic Military Training (BMT) tomorrow! That's amazingly fast. Well, all the best dude!

So, I was thinking about where I would like to travel before I get enlisted into the army. There are so many places that I want to go too. Mostly are in Asia because I was thinking more about the budget and everything...

- Australia
Always wanted to go there and have fun. I heard it's similar to New Zealand, but I just have to go there and experience the fun, shopping and people! Gd Day, Mate!

- Vietnam (Hanoi, Ho Chi Minh City)
Seems like a really nice place. I want to go see their famous Hoan Kiam Lake, go to the water park, try the food, shop and experience the culture.

- Thailand (Ko Pha Ngan, Bangkok, Chiang Mai)
The beach resort in Ko Pha Ngan seems really nice. There aren't alot of people there as well because it's not as popular as Phuket, but I would love to head down there for some water sports and fun! Bangkok is definitely more for shopping and Chiang Mai is more for the culture! Yup, a little bit of everything and not forgetting the food!

- Indonesia (Bintan)
Once again for the beach! However, there are other dry sports there as well to do. There's the Go-Kart and the 4x4. The thing is that it is expensive compared to Ko Pha Ngan because it uses Singapore's currency, but still worth going!

- Taiwan (Taipei)
I heard that the shopping is great and the food is wonderful! L0L!

- China (Shanghai)
Seems interesting.

- Cambodia (Siem Reap)
Honestly, I just want to go there and take a look at Angkor Wat because there isn't really anything else to do. The structure of Angkor Wat looks amazing in pictures and I have to see it myself to believe it! L0L!

I'm also thinking of maybe heading down to Kuala Lumpur again and maybe Hong Kong as well. I think those are the 2 places that gives value for money other than Thailand and I think most of my friends would prefer to go to some place near and cheap. Yeah, so I'm hoping that I get to travel to 2 different destinations before I head for National Service!

Ok guys! It's 2 minutes to 6.30pm! I have to pack everything and shut down the computer and leave. L0L! I'll update again soon! Most probably when I'm working because sometimes it gets really boring and there's absolutely nothing to do! L0L! Alright guys, take care everyone and I hope to hear from all of you soon! Cheers! =]

"You may be deceived if you trust too much, but you will live in torment if you do not trust enough."
- Frank Crane

Genesis: Chapter 2.

2008-04-02T21:23:00.007+08:00

YATTA!!!

HELLO! NEW BLOG!!!

So what do you think of my new blogskin ? L0L! Better say nice ar! Welcome to Genesis Chapter 2. After being absent for 2 WHOLE months, I'm back and better than EVER! MUAHAHAHA! Let me just give you guys a brief 2 month summary!

- NS Medical on 13th Feb. Got into PES D due to irregular heart rhythm. Still awaiting for my PES, should be either B or C.
- Echo scanning at Alexandra Hospital on 14th Feb.
- BIRTHDAY on 15th Feb!! 20 years on this planet! Spent the day studying with Weian and Siangyee because FCS Exam was the next day (16th Feb).
- Exams (16th Feb and 18th Feb).
- End of Poly life (18th Feb).
- Started working at V'hive Causeway point on 21st Feb.
- Treadmill Running Test at Military Medicine Institute on 10th March.
- Quit job on 16th March due to an arguement with "boss".
- New admin job at Raffles City Tower on 17th March.
- Trip to the Zoo with Secondary school friends on 30th March.

Yup, besides all of those, I still had many other outings and I really enjoyed it. It's been a pretty interesting 2 months full of ups and downs. Well, although things aren't looking up, but I'm still going to put a big smile on my face and move on because I'm over it and over you. =] Honestly, you're dead in my book. Have a good life! That's all I would like to say to you. =]

Oh well, here are some things I'm planning to do before my NS enlistment. I called and check when I will be getting my PES and they said I'll be getting it by 17 June, which means I won't be able to make the June intake. I'm pretty bumped out about it because it means I'll have till September to rot and by then, most of my friends would be in the army already. Oh well, every thing happens for a reason right? So here are some of my plans...

- Continue to work.
- Wild Wild Wet!
- Secondary School Gathering/Chalet (as suggested by Adlina)
- a week in Kuala Lumpur in May with Poly friends.

Yup! I can't wait. L0L! I have been purchasing things online recently because they are somehow nicer and cheaper. I'm waiting for my iPod Classic 80GB Black to arrive. I got a pretty good deal at $340, which includes a free wall adapter. I made a purchase from Threadless for a tshirt at $15. There's this local online shop I made a purchase at for a US imported tshirt at $28. Do check out the designs because they are pretty good and I doubt you can get them in Singapore. The website is below.
http://vgohyk.livejournal.com/1014.html#cutid1
I'm also trying to seal a deal for a Topman long sleeve shirt from this guy online at $45. The normal price at the Topman store is usually $73. I should be getting it tomorrow.

By the way, I'm thinking of getting a new digital camera. Actually, I'm looking at Canon Ixus 80IS and the best price so far is $400. I haven't check out Sim Lim yet, so hopefully I would be able to get a better deal. Let me know if any of you guys know where I can get a better deal! Thanks! =]

Oh well, I think I'm going to stop here for now! I'll will update again in less than 2 months for sure! Haha! I get to use the internet in my office and sometimes I'm really bored, so you can expect more updates from me when I have absolutely nothing left to do in the office! L0L! Alright then, I shall stop here for now. By the way, I removed the songs from my blog because I was starting to get bored of it. L0L! Take care everyone and feel free to give me your opinions on the new blogskin! Cya! =]

"Sometimes people are on the outside looking in because they don’t have any money. But sometimes people are on the outside looking in because they don’t have any class."
- Waiter Rant

a month has past.

2008-01-30T20:26:00.000+08:00

HELLO! Yes, I'm back to update! L0L! It's been nearly 2 weeks since I last updated. Damn, so much to say, but so little space! Alright, so I'll try to fill you guys in about what's been happening the past 2 weeks.

18th Jan
Delightedness for all FYP students in Ngee Ann. It was the last day for our FYP and we were showcasing our final product in the technofair. Let the pictures do the talking... then I'll talk. L0L!

Ready for takeoff? We were bored la. L0L!

The hidden truth of our product. L0L!

The FYP team.

so happens we were standing according to height. L0L!

there goes a year of Dota, Enfo, TD, etc. I'll miss you guys! <3

Yeah! I really had fun at the technofair. Honestly, not many students were keen on looking at the projects. It was mainly lecturers who were the ones asking questions and stuff. The rest of the time I was hanging around at my friends booth and just having a good time getting to know new friends. L0L! Even Gavin, Nigel, Qingxiang, RER, Qiaozhen and Ms Zarina came man. Cool right! Thanks for the support! =]

After the technofair concluded, it was time to celebrate! Yeah, went to Changi Airport Terminal 3 with Alex, Dennis, Gavin and Monkey. L0L! MONKEY!!! AHAHAHA! Shall let the pictures do the talking...

Our 2nd Album, Back of Your Car is is stores now!! L0L!

I was trying to take a photo of the clouds, but the lorry drove past. L0L!

This is what a pro photographer is capable of! L0L!

previously on prison break.

Err... The Click Three?

We were practising Qi-Gong. L0L!

I'm not the only one staring at the sun.

Making The Band.

emo.smile.emo.smile.emo

We were trying to take a photo of ourselves jumping with the camera's timer. L0L!

Us at Terminal 3 of the airport.

A preview of Changi Airport Terminal 3.

Yes, it was a great day la! The structure and design of terminal 3 was really cool. It isn't that big though, we managed to walk from one end to the other end quite fast actually while trying to find Popeyes Chicken And Biscuits fast food restaurant. Dinner was at Popeyes and many felt the food wasn't worth the money and it wasn't fantastic afterall. I felt it was alright. It was a long ride home after that. Great Day! =]

21st Jan

It was project room outing! Most of us turned up except for Bryan and Jasper. I met Binghong and Weian at Bukit Batok and we took a bus to Marina Square to meet Keewei. Jeremiah came later. Lunch was at Yuki Yaki and they were having a promotion. It was $12 for the buffet, but sushi wasn't included. An extra $5 for the ice-cream buffet. The food wasn't bad at all, but I couldn't enjoy that much because I was having a sore throat. However, the ice-cream isn't worth the money at all and I'm definitely not going for the ice-cream buffet anymore. L0L! After that we proceeded to Cineleisure to meet Daryl and Nicholas to catch Cloverfield. Please don't watch it! L0L! Luckily, we only paid $6 per person. Jeremiah left after that while the rest of us went over to parklane for lan-gaming, pool and arcade. We left about 11pm plus to catch the last bus/train. Hopefully, we'll be able to have an outing like this again and all of us will be able to make it! Cheers! =]

23th Jan

It was the last day for IS. Our EPM presentation went pretty alright, so hopefully it will pull our grade up because the previous presentation wasn't that good. For WISP, our lecturer told us if we submit our reflection before the last lesson, then we won't have to come for it. I already did my reflection, so I let her take a look and she said it was around a B+ to an A-. I decided to improve on it better and get a better grade, so hopefully I can get an A. After that, I went to Queensway with Dennis and Gavin. I managed to get a pair of jeans at $38 and Dennis bought a skinny tie at $25! We went over to Peninsular Plaza after that to get Dennis's guitar strings and Gavin bought his Adidas shoe. Proceeded to Bugis after that to meet Weixuan and did some shopping. Dinner was at the newly revamped foodcourt. The Beef Noodles there is good! Do try it out.

25th Jan

Finally met up with Garyson after not seeing him for 3 years? L0L! Khairul came along as well. Well, Garyson still looks the same as before. Went for a game of pool and did lots of catching up over dinner at the void deck. L0L! He's leaving on the 1st of Feb for attachment in China for 2 months. Yeah, all the best man and hope to see you again soon if possible yea? We can still meet up again if I'm not in NS after you come back. L0L! Take care man and Bon Voyage! =]

28th Jan

Binghong, Keewei, Weian and myself went over to Bryan's place for a mahjong session. L0L! It took us about 3 hours to complete the whole 4 winds. L0L! I ended up losing $6. However, we played Blackjack after that and I managed to win $13. Yes, more than enough to cover my losses. The last game was In Between and I lost $6 again! L0L! Yes, in other words, I broke even as there was no profit and no loss. L0L! We went for dinner after that before heading back home. Oh yah, Bryan has a horny dog called Binky. Just when I thought Gavin's dog, Whiskers, was horny enough. Binky is probably 10 times worse! L0L! He tried humping Weian too! L0L! Damn Funny can? L0L! L0L!

Today

I studied! OMG! L0L! It's been a much more productive day today compared to yesterday. Yesterday I attended a 90 minutes online interactive survey from 7pm. After doing the survey, my account will be deposit with 600 points! Currently I have 842 points and I can redeem cash only when it hits 1000 points. This means, with the 600 points, I have a total of 1442 points and I can finally redeem cash after about 3 years? L0L! 1000 points is worht US$50, that means I have US$72.10 and when you convert it to Singapore Dollars, I have slightly above SG$100! Man, an early Chinese New Year Ang Bao! L0L! YAY!

Anyway, I'm left with only 2 days of lessons in Ngee Ann Poly, which is tomorrow and Friday. After which, I'm only left with 2 exam papers on the 16th and 18th of Feb before I officially graduate! YAY!

I decided to place an order for a 80gb iPod Classic Black from a guy Daryl refered me to. He's placing mass orders from abroad so the cost price is $340 compared to the original price of $420. It is nearly $100 cheaper and I feel that it's really worth the money. I've already started updating my iTunes and downloading more songs! L0L! Please do flood me with quality songs if you have any. Thank you. I even have some videos ready to upload in. However, the iPod will only be arriving the week after Chinese New Year and I can't wait!

Is it a little too late to make a New Year Resolution? I don't think so right, since it's only January! Yes, I know I'm a little slow, but still I decided to make this resolution after putting much thought into it. January is coming to an end and alot has happened since the start of 2008. In fact, alot has been happening since last year that I wasn't aware of, but all is good now and everything will be better by this Saturday! Yup, so here's my New Year Resolution:

This year, I want to be more independent. I want to rely on myself from now onwards and not on others. I feel that I need to grow up and be more mature. Take control of my own life and take responsibility for everything that happens in my life. I don't want to depend on others anymore because I realise that others will not necessarily always be there for you when you need them and you can never trust someone completely.

Yes, that's my resolution there and hopefully by the end of the year I can look back at everything that has happened and learn from it. I'm not young anymore. I'm going to be 20 soon and I've learnt a valuable lesson. One that I can never learn elsewhere. Perhaps, it's a blessing in disguise. Life is a learning journey.

Alright, I'm going to stop here for today. Do keep in touch and continue tagging and flooding my tagboard. I'll update again soon yeah? PROMISE!! ahahah! Take care guys and hopefully Febuary will be a better month for everyone! Peace! =]

"The more passions and desires one has, the more ways one has of being happy."

- Charlotte-Catherine

Forgiveness

2008-01-17T23:14:00.000+08:00

Hey guys, I was supposed to blog few days ago about last Sunday's service, but I was occupied. Yes, so I'm going to tell you more about what I've learnt last week. It really impacted me alot and I guess there couldn't be a better timing for that sermon. It was preached by Pastor Tan. L0L! Not me, not me. So here goes...

--------------------------------------

Forgiveness

- Letting go of the past

- Embracing the future

- Forgiveness enlarges your future

1. It is unconditional

2. Doesn't minimise seriousness of the offence

3. Isn't resuming a relationship without change (3Rs)

- Repetance

- Restitution (Restore)

- Rebuilding Trust

4. Isn't forgetting what happened

5. Isn't my duty if I'm not the one hurt

- The person who commits the offence should ask for forgiveness himself instead.

Why many people struggle with forgiving?

Because they do not see the value of forgiving.

Value of Forgiveness

- Not letting our future be held captive by past offences

- Life is 10% "What happened" & "90% how we react to it

1. What's most important to you

2. What you stand for.

3. What you are willing to pay the price for?

If we judge what we value by our circumstances, we will de-value what is important and give value to what is momentarily.

1. Give up your right to get even.
2. Learn to set boundaries.
3. Respond to evil with Good
4. Repeat the steps as long as necessary

-----------------------------------------

Yes yes, end of my preaching. I know it's sort of messy and all over the place, but I think you all can get the meaning right? Somehow.. L0L! Oh well, that sermon really made me think about what has happened recently and how much I've been affected by it. Well, life still goes on and I guess I have to be stronger as a person.

I wanna heal i wanna feel what i thought was never real

I wanna let go of the pain I've felt so long

Somewhere i belong

Oh well, tomorrow is Ngee Ann Poly's Techno fair and my group will be showcasing our final year project. We will be at block 8 level 2 in the ava room. Do come and visit us and give us some support if you are free! L0L! Anyway, I'm stopping here for today! Tomorrow's going to be a long day! After that, I'll be free from FYP! I'll leave you guys with a photo we took that day at Esplanade. I forgot to upload it on my previous entry. So take good care and PEACE! =]

I'm sure you can identify me! The most handsome one of course! L0L!

"The easiest thing in the world to be is you. The most difficult thing to be is what other people want you to be. Don't let them put you in that position."

- Leo Buscaglia

snap!

2008-01-13T23:00:00.000+08:00

So we really went to Esplanade last night. There was myself, Dennis, Farhanah and Gavin. Dinner was at Cavana. $7.20 was the cost price of the meal, which was acceptable. Worth the money? Not really in my opinion. We did have a good time taking photos! Below are some shots I took with Gavin's 8 megapixel Canon camera. Please do give me some comments! I'm just a beginner and it's just an interest! Let the photos do the talking.

view from the rooftop terrace

the merlion.

shadow of the day.

closing the doors.

wherever it may lead.

to wherever.

neverending road.

Eh, don't laugh leh! I put effort in these photos ok! With that, I can conclude that being a photography is that as easy as what people think. Comments? Comments? Meaningful right my photos! L0L!

I know it's hard to keep an open heart

When even friends seem out to harm you

But if you could heal a broken heart

Wouldn't time be out to charm you

Anyway, went to CHC @ Jurong West with Dennis today. He said he will probably make a comeback at Expo next weekend, so yeah. It has been really nice going back to Jurong West for the past 3 weeks and meaningful too! Oh man, I'm seriously going to miss it la. I really hope I will go back soon. Thanks Dennis for the past 3 weeks! =] Oh, met his cell group leader as well, Lucas O'Neil sias! MSS ok! (MSS = Mai Siao Siao). L0L!

Sometimes I need some time...on my own

Sometimes I need some time...all alone

Everybody needs some time...on their own

Don't you know you need some time...all alone

The sermon today was really powerful. It's basically about Forgiveness, I will talk more about it tomorrow when I get the stuff from Dennis. L0L! Yes, I'm going through quite alot in my life recently and it involves alot. The sermon today really impacted me alot and I want to be a better person after hearing everything today. I'm sure the sermon meant alot to YOU as well! Yes! Yes! YOU! YOU! *hints* *hints* *winks* *winks* L0L!

I will never let you fall.

I'll stand up with you forever.

I'll be there for you through it all.

Even if saving you sends me to heaven.

I have been really thinking alot over the past few days especially what Michelle told me about wanting others to love me for who I am. Yes, I do want people to love me for the person I am. I can't compromise that and be someone whom I'm not. If people can't accept me for who I am, then the friendship would never work out. Even if I were to change and be someone I'm not, how long will that work? Only people who know me well enough will know who I am and LOVE me for that. I can't be with people who can't accept me for who I am as a person. I won't compromise that.

Maybe we're trying

Trying too hard

Maybe we're torn apart

Maybe the timing

Is beating our hearts

We're empty

Yes, so accept me for who I truly me or don't be my friend. Sorry for being direct, but seriously that's how it is. I'm not a good actor. I'm straight to the point and speak my mind. Noone is perfect and I'm not perfect either. There are many things I need to sort out myself before I can be a better person. Sometimes, it isn't the bad points you should look at, but rather the good points of a person.

I close both locks below the window.

I close both blinds and turn away.

Sometimes solutions aren’t so simple.

Sometimes goodbye’s the only way.

A wise friend once told me this. "Although you have so few bad points about you, I still look at them and condemn you. You, on the other hand, look at my few good points and are capable of accepting them." Shouldn't we all look at a person's strong points instead of the bad ones? We shouldn't take others for granted. When we are given an inch, don't ask for another foot. Accept it and be grateful to the person. Why do we always want MORE each time? I'm probably never going to be good enough for anyone, but I just hope that others can/will learn to accept that. =]

There can be miracles, when you believe

Though hope is frail, it's hard to kill

Who knows what miracles you can achieve

When you believe, somehow you will

You will when you believe

Alright guys, I'm going to stop here for today because it's late! I need to get my well earned rest before a full day in school tomorrow! I will try to update again tomorrow yeah? No promises though! Stay tune yea? Support! Support! If you would like to vote for me, please make a tag in the box to your right --->

Yes! Simple right? =X Ok then, take care everyone and PEACEsssssssss! =]

"Friends are born, not made."

- Henry Adams

new layout!!

2008-01-12T15:56:00.000+08:00

Yay! A new layout!
A change at last!
A NEW start for me!

Yes yes, I'm starting life all over again as you can see.
This is the beginning of something new!

Genesis: Chapter 1.

Please give me feedback on the new layout and your thoughts! I'm still looking for a better layout, but at the moment, I'm just going to stick with this. Yup, the first chapter of a new beginning! A fresh start.

Alright, nothing much to update on except for the new layout! L0L! I'm really interested in photography and maybe later I'll head out with my friends to take some nice pictures at Esplanade at night!

I don't have a good photography camera although my dad has one. His is the film kind and I really want a good digital photograher's camera! L0L! Please BLESS me with one ? My birthday's coming!! L0L! Yeah, I'm going to be 20 soon! Oh no! =[

Okok, I'm going to do some other stuff already. Take care everyone and PEACE! =]

"What's the use of worrying? It never was worthwhile."
- George Asaf

"You always second guess yourself. Just think of all the time you'd save if you just trusted yourself."
- Takayuki Ikkaku, Arisa Hosaka and Toshihiro Kawabata

New Life.

2008-01-11T00:00:00.000+08:00

Hey guys! Sorry for the extremely late update! Happy New Year to everyone! Yes yes, I'm 10 days late! L0L! Still, better late than never right? Yeah, I know the first post of the year is properly freaky. Yesterday was really one of the biggest turning point ever in my life. I realised that you can never trust a person completely. The only person that you can trust 100% is none other than yourself. Basically, the phrase "Every Man For Himself" is nothing less than accurate. Well, I guess I was naive to think otherwise. It hurts more when you realise what the person you cared about the most is capable of doing to you. The worst part is when you have done no wrong ever to the person or the person's love ones, yet you get treated in such a way.

Can you forgive me again?
I don't know what I said
But I didn't mean to hurt you

Oh well, what's done is done. Where do we go from here? I have no clue. I guess we both still need some time to think about things through before making a final decision. Sometimes I wonder why I can be so forgiving after getting cheated and scammed like that. I think many others in my shoes wouldn't do the same. I'm in a dilemma and I just want to know what's best for ME right now. Sorry man, but I have to think about myself right now correct? I really hope you can understand and respect the decision I make.

I heard the words come out
I thought that I would die
It hurts so much to hurt you

It's really nice of you to say all the things in the tagboard and I really do hope that you mean it. Especially the part where you said this "other den my gf (cos she's my life partner) and my parents, u are the most impt to me. really." I really hope you meant that and yes, you really do have to make me believe it and earn back my trust. I know that you are a good person, but we all do make mistakes and it's how we learn from it that counts right? I hope that you will change for the better with or without me in your life. Can you promise me that?

Then you look at me
You're not shouting anymore
You're silently broken

Well, I guess you guys can tell that my new year hasn't started out well yeah? I mean it's really a bad start. On the last 15 minutes of 2007, I was in tears, so I didn't expect 2008 to be a good year. Furthermore, the past 10 days have been a real torture and struggle emotionally. It's hard just thinking about everything that has happened and I really don't want to talk much about it yea? I hope you guys don't ask me about it and if you do and I say I don't want to talk about it, then please drop the subject k? I really appreciate everyone's concern and I really want to thank those who hear me out and gave me much needed advice.

I'd give anything now
to kill those words for you

Khairul, thanks for always accompanying me to listen to all my nonsense and problems time and time again. I truly appreciate it from the bottom of my heart la. Seriously. Thanks for all the wonderful bonding sessions at our usual void deck hangout. Although I know you are a very "relac 1 corner" person. L0L! But still, thanks for ALWAYS listening and giving me your thoughts and advice. Oh ya, Happy 20th Birthday! 10th Jan! ahaha! I won't forget! =]

Each time I say something I regret,
I cry "I don't wanna lose you!"

Mal, thanks for just being around on Wednesday before I went to settle things. You really made me feel happier and more composed and relax. I think if I didn't meet you, I would have already broken down seriously. The advice you gave me really helped alot and thanks for just being there when I needed someone. Also, thanks for giving me a phone call earlier to check on how I'm feeling. I really do appreciate it! =]

But some how I know that
You will never leave me, yeah.

Dennis, thanks for taking me to Church for the past 2 weeks and for hearing me out and telling me what I should do. Seriously, I think if I didn't talk to you about it, this matter wouldn't be solved yet. I would properly not talk to the cgl about it because I would still be wondering if it's still the right thing to do. Thank God I did and I finally manage to discover the truth amongst all the lies. Thanks man. =]

'Cause you were made for me
Some how I'll make you see
How happy you make me

Michelle, thanks to you and your fiance, this issue was finally resolved. I truly respect you as a leader. Without your help, I would never find out the truth behind everything. Thanks for the advice as well and thanks for talking to him and helping both of us settle things out. I appreciate everything you have done to help and I will listen to your advice, but at the same time I'm going to think everything through before making a decision. Thank you. =]

I can't live this life
Without you by my side
I need you to survive

You, you know who you are la. Thanks for telling the truth and not denying everything you took from me or did. It takes alot to admit what you did especially after doing such hurtful things. I respect that you finally admit your mistakes and take full blame for it. I respect you for wanting to repent and be a better person. I know that you will be capable of doing, but it will take time. Just know who you are as a person and the people who are important in your life. Peace yea? =]

So stay with me
You look in my eyes and
I'm screaming inside that I'm sorry..

I think for now I'm starting a new life, one which is different from the past 3 years. I guess it's better to rely on yourself and not others. Trust yourself more than others. I guess it's going to be a hard transition for me, one that I might even be able to accept and one that I might not even be ready to do. Then again, it's something I have to do for myself. Oh well, nobody said life was going to be easy right? Sometimes, I really wonder why all these things happen to me? I always wonder what I did to deserve all of this? Oh well. =[

And you forgive me again
You're my one true friend
And I never meant to hurt you

Anyway, I left out so much from last time! My common test results are out and I did reasonably well! I'm happy with my results la. Guess what? My FYP open house is next Friday! After that, I don't have classes on Monday and Tuesday anymore! Woohoo! Yes, it also means Poly life is coming to an end in slightly more than a month. Wow. Can you imagine 3 years just flew by like that? Pretty amazing right? The worst part is I don't want to be an engineer! L0L! I realise that maybe I should be a DJ or TV host since I like to talk so much! L0L! REALLY REALLY! I would like to try what it's like to be a DJ! Oh well, as for now it's just completing Poly and entering NS life! I have no plans for my future yet, so I'm hoping that I start to think about it seriously! L0L!

And you forgive me again

To all my Poly friends and classmates, these 3 years have really been CRAZY! Thanks for the awesome and incredible times we shared. The wild and crazy things we did and basically the FUN we had together! I really hope to keep in contact with all you guys because I do enjoy the company! People always say that "Friends always come and go, but true friends will always stay!". That's really true la. I mean it's hard to find a true friend that stays with you forever! If I'm able to stay in contact with my sec school friends, then I think I'll be able to do the same for my poly friends as well! =]

You're my one true friend

Alright people, time to sleeps! Thanks for sticking around with me! Oh btw, I'm getting back my MacBook Pro! Yes Yes! The one that was "lost", but please don't ask me why or how alright? Alright then, take care everyone and have a good year ahead! Peace! =]

And I never meant to hurt you

"Repentance may begin instantly, but reformation often requires a sphere of years."
- Henry Ward Beecher

"It is much easier to repent of sins that we have committed than to repent of those we intend to commit."
- Josh Billings

The above 2 quotes are just for you. Repentance isn't something you can accomplish within a day or two, it takes time. For you to repent, you have to change. For you to change, you have to believe that you can. I believe you can. Take care. =]

the truth hurts.

2008-01-10T10:59:00.000+08:00

After 3 years, I finally learnt the truth about you. All the lies that you put me through all this time. They are right when they say the truth hurts because words can't even describe what i'm feeling right now. I'm thankful that you finally told me the truth about EVERYTHING. Basically, now I really don't know who you really are. I feel that our friendship has been nothing but a lie all this time. Money was one of the factors that led to this. Money is a sensitive thing, but everyone loves money. Greed. Everything you did is unacceptable and wrong. Some of the lies you told really shock me. For you to go to that extend to lie is really unbelievable. All this time, I still do not know what you think of me and how much you truly cared. What's the truth about our friendship? How much did you truly care about me? I wish I know exactly how you feel, but I'll never know even if you tell me. It may just be another lie afterall. Why did you require a third party to interfere before you can tell me the truth? Is it so hard for you to tell someone the truth? I don't know why I am capable of forgiving someone like you, but I guess I want you to change for the better. The only reason I can think of for forgiving you is that I do care about you. We all make mistakes, but it's really how we grow from it. You are a master of lies. You can lie without blinking and thinking. You can really act out a whole show and make someone sympathise with you thinking that you're in need of it when actually everything in your life is perfectly alright. At the end of the day, I'm the one that suffers for being "the good guy". I'm the one that suffers for being NICE. I'm the one that suffers for wanting to HELP. I'm the one that suffers for your SELFISHNESS. I'm the one that suffers from all your LIES. I don't think anyone would ever forgive you for what you did if they were in my shoes. The only reasons I can think of for giving you a chance is I'm an idiot/fool OR I truly do care for you and I want to help you become a better person. Other than the things you owe me (i'm sure you know what they are), you don't owe me anything else. You don't have to carry on with this friendship if you don't wish to. I don't pressurize you to do so. However if you do wish to continue with it, then be TRUE about it and NO MORE LIES. Right now, I really do not know how I feel towards you and I guess only time will tell when I truly get to know you for you are. I'm sure you want to know that yourself too. There are still many things I'm confused about and I do want to get my doubts clear. The only reason why I feel you told those lies was because of GREED. Am I right? Were all the nice things you did a lie as well? Like the things you bought for me? The things you said to me? The times you approached me for help? The times you ask me for forgiveness? Take your gf out of the picture because she has nothing to do with anything. I don't know how serious you see what you did as, but let me tell you the truth. It's a SERIOUS offence to CHEAT someone and it's WRONG to LIE from the very start. The WORST part was lying about your FAMILY and SWEARING upon their NAMES. Please don't ever do that again for your OWN sake. Where do we go from here? I have no clue honestly. But you have to think about how much our friendship means to you and how much you truly want it to continue on yea? If you feel that I'm nothing much to you or I'm a burden or just not important in your life, then do let me know. Honestly, I'm still trying to figure out how much I mean to you in your life all this time. You said things like "just like any other friend", "important to me", "don't want to lose you", "can live without you", "care about you", "not close as my closer friends", "closer than most friends", "love you as a friend", "love you as a buddy", "love you as a brother", "hate me", "want to cut off friendship", "brothers forever". So which of those you said above is truly what you mean? I think you know all this time what I treat you as and who I am to you. Don't let that cloud your mind or anything. Just think about how you felt about our FRIENDSHIP all this time. I think once you are certain about it and I can get that definite answer from you, then I will know how to proceed. BOTH of us have alot to LEARN from this and I do hope that we will learn from it and become BETTER as a person from now onwards. The damage has already been done. The pain has already been felt. The truth has already been surfaced. From now onwards, no more lies ok? Take this as a learning experience. "Life is a learning journey" right? We learn from mistakes and become better as a person! Yup, NO HARD FEELINGS! =]

Take care man/bro/buddy/friend/dude/mate/pal/comrade/whatever la hor (OMGWTHBBQ!?)

L0L! We shall leave that like that for now and see how things goes? See how things goes slowly and steadily! PEACE! =]

"Life is a learning journey."
- JC (you la kambing!)

chicken pox!!

2007-12-21T14:54:00.000+08:00

HELLO! Yes yes, i'm back after a long absence! The common test is finally over at last. Holidays are here till next year! Unfortunately for me, I'll be spending the entire 2 week break at home because I've been infected with the chicken pox. =[ The timing couldn't be any better. When I finally thought I could have a nice break after all the studying and projects and studying and projects, yeah you get my point. The doctor said that I probably got it 2 weeks back from someone else without even realising it. Word of advice to anyone that has chicken pox: Please be responsible and stay home for the entire period and not go out and spread it to others damnit.

You caught me off guard
Now I'm running and screaming
I feel like a hero and you are my heroine
Do you know that your love is the sweetest sin?

Oh well, although it's really unfortunate for me to spend 2 weeks at home. It may also be a blessing in disguise as Leonard told me. Thinking about it, in a way it's a good thing. Firstly, at least it's during the holidays and not the exams period. Secondly, from what I know, it isn't as bad as other people who had chicken pox before. Surprisingly, it doesn't really itch that much. Thirdly, I will never get it ever again. Fourthly, by staying at home for 2 weeks, I can save lots of money and I don't need to buy concession! L0L! I'm trying to cheer myself up man, come on give me a chance!

Take you away from that empty apartment
You stay, and forget where the heart is
Someday if ever you loved me you'd say, it's okay

Along with the pros, there's always the cons. Firstly, I can't meet friends whom I have not seen in a long time. Secondly, I can't celebrate Christmas. Thirdly, I can't go out and hang out and have loads of fun. In conclusion, I think I got chicken pox at the right time because the pros exceeds the number of cons. L0L! =[

I don't want to waste another day
Keeping it inside it's killing me
'Cause all I ever want, it comes right down to you

I think I should do something really meaningful for the holidays since I'll be at home. I really wanted to watch The Golden Compass and Warlords! Thankfully, there's sidereel! L0L! Yes, do check that website out! All your TV shows and movies needs! I just watched a movie called "Zodiac" yesterday. It's about this serial killer in the 60's in San Francisco who calls himself Zodiac. He went around taking innocent lives and left clues and hints at the scene of the crime as well as to the newspaper company on what he might do next. I'm not going to spoil the ending for you guys, but it's a good movie, so do catch it.

What have I got to do to make you love me
What have I got to do to make you care

I'm also watching a game show on youtube called the "Singing Bee". It's hosted by Joey Fatone, formerly from the band N'Sync. The contestants are suppose to sing the song given to them right after the band stops playing. It's pretty interesting especially when they have no idea what the lyrics are and they just add in anything they can think of. L0L! I think I need to find a TV series I can get hooked on to for the rest of the holidays. Any recommendations?

What do I do to make you want me
What have I got to do to be heard

Life hasn't been good recently. Fights. Arguments. Quarrels. If you guys didn't know, usually I cannot be bothered with all this. If you say something really stupid and irritate me, I'll just say Whatever and we both get on with our own lives. That is for people that I don't care and don't give a damn about. Basically, these kind of people, even if they aren't my friends, it won't hurt me a single bit. In fact, it may be a blessing! L0L! Yes, I bet you should know who you are, so please stay away from me after this FYP is over. =]

It's sad, so sad
It's a sad, sad situation
And it's getting more and more absurd

However, if you are someone important to me, things are different. It does affect me and it hurts whenever something like that happens. What can I do to make things better for us? I'm always trying to help, but how come it feels like no matter how hard I try, I'm still never going to be good enough for you? Everyone knows that a friendship works 2 ways right? I know there are certain things I said that I would really like to take back. Hmmm... I think I shouldn't go on about it. I can only wish that things were different. i'msorry.

It's sad, so sad
Why can't we talk it over
Oh it seems to me
That sorry seems to be the hardest word

Anyway, it's been 3 days at home and to be honest, it isn't that bad. Apparently, I'm not as bored as I thought I would be. In fact, I'm more occupied compared to some weekends when I'm totally bored and I want to get out of the house. These 3 days seem to fly by really fast and it's only 4 more days to Christmas! This Christmas was supposed to be really special. I guess it's not going to be special in anyway anymore. =[

What have I got to do
What have I got to do
When sorry seems to be the hardest word

Oh well, I guess there isn't really much to update about since I'll be at home for the rest of the holidays. However, I'll try to keep you guys updated and posted if I'm not lazy! ahaha! Alright then, I'm going to search for more TV shows and movies to watch! Take care guys and have a great weekend and an awesome Christmas! Peace! =]

"I just realized that there's going to be a lot of painful times in life, so I better learn to deal with it the right way."
- Trey Parker and Matt Stone

December!

2007-12-09T12:56:00.001+08:00

Oh man! Sorry for not updating for such a long period! It's December! The last month of the year already! Christmas is coming! Holidays are coming! Woohoo! However, something tells me that it isn't really going to be an enjoyable 2 week break since I have to be in school the whole of the first week! =[

Don't pretend you're sorry
I know you're not
You know you got the power
To make me weak inside

So let me give an update of what has been going on recently. Well, all my presentations are over and to be honest, only my WISP went well. I did pretty badly in my EPM presentation and FYP panel review was awful too. Bullets were flying all around and even if you are in the Matrix mode, it seems so hard to avoid them. Alot was said about us not doing enough in a year and can't disagree. Our product is incomplete and not functioning according to plan. It's still uncertain if we managed to get a pass. Our supervisor told us that it's good news if we don't receive any emails from her, so we'll just have to wait and see for now. One of our reviewers was a supervisor of one of the group in my room and she only made things worse. The main reviewer was asking what else we did during the entire year and she went "They off the lights and play game". Although that isn't really inaccurate, but it was like a headshot man.

You leave me breathless
But it's okay 'cause
You are my survival

Yes, so if we need to go for the Examiner's Review (ER), it means we fail. However, there's one last chance during the open house to show to the reviewers that we have improved on our project. That can either upgrade or downgrade us. That's the reason why I have to be back in school during the first week of the 2 week break. It really sucks especially when it's supposed to be a break. I hate this last semester and I have no intention of being an Engineer! =[

Now hear me say
I can't imagine life
Without your love
Even forever don't seem
Like long enough

Alright, on a lighter note, I'm organising an outing for all my year 1 friends on either the 28th or 29th of this month! I'm trying to see the date when everyone's available, so we could have a class reunion at last! I haven't plan what to do yet, but feel free to drop me with all your ideas and suggestions yeah? Do let me know if you guys are free too! Well, at least it's something to look for during the holidays besides Christmas! =]

Here I go, scream my lungs out
And try to get to you
You are my only one

Common test is next week! Although I only have 2 papers, but I'm working really hard because I want to do well this last semester before I graduate from Ngee Ann. My papers are on Wednesday and Friday and I'll be FREE for 2 days! L0L! I like to think of it as better than nothing! Yes yes, I'm taking a break right now because I realise that I haven't been updating this blog of mine for like 2 weeks plus? Oh man!

I let go, but there's just no one
That gets me like you
You are my only, my only one

I have been so so busy with school for the past few months that I don't even have time to really take a break. I haven't met up with my secondary school friends for such a long time already! Oh no! I miss you guys deeply and I hope we could hang out soon yeah? Hopefully, we can meet up during that Christmas week! Next weekend would be great too after my papers are over! =]

'Cause everytime I breathe
I take you in
And my heart beats again
Baby I can't help it
You keep me
Drowning in your love

Season 2 of Heroes is over! It was only 11 episodes because the writers are on strike. I prefered season 1 still because the finale was more impactful compared to this season. However, it's still my favourite tv series for now! I'm also watching Brothers & Sisters currently and it's season 2 too! It's a meaningful drama series about family issues and some of the issues brought up are really heartwarming. Yeah, I feel that I can relate to some of the issues they face. By the way, Milo Ventimiglia's (Peter Petrelli) hairstyle in season 2 is nice! I want to get that hairstyle too man, but I don't have any magazines or photos to show the hairstylist. L0L! Below's a picture.

I can't wait for the common test to be over man, I just want to celebrate Christmas and have some fun after all the torment. L0L! As for now, I need to head back to the boring books! =[ I hate studying!! I'll try to update again once the common test are over yeah? OH! BIG Thanks to the BIG brother for the new phone! I really like it! =] Alright, take care guys and have a great week! =]

"Above all, my brothers, do not swear—not by heaven or by earth or by anything else. Let your "Yes" be yes, and your "No," no, or you will be condemned."
- James 5:12, The Bible

Presentations & Reports!

2007-11-21T22:06:00.000+08:00

Hello! I'm backk again! How's everyone? I just had my EPM presentation today and I suppose it went pretty alright? Hopefully, our points were alright, we will have to wait till next week to find out more. Next week is WISP presentation and the following week would be the PD2 review. We also have to submit the PD2 report on Monday. Oh man! So many presentations and reports to be done! =[

I need this time to be with you
I'm freezing in the sun
I'm burning in the rain

The big brother came over on Sunday to relax and have fun! It's great having the big brother around and I will be meeting him again tomorrow in the evening! Yay! But the big brother school only ends at 5.30pm. I wish we ends earlier!! =[

The silence
I'm screaming,
Calling out your name

Tomorrow is going to be a short day as well because lessons starts only at 1pm and ends at 5pm. However, last week my lecturer told us that the lab session can be done well quick, so I think we will be able to leave earlier. I also heard from Hariz that we can get it done within an hour, which means I can leave at 4pm. So perhaps I can go back home first to get some rest for awhile.

And i do reside in your light
that puts up the fire with me and find
Yeah you'll lose the side of your circles
That's what i'll do if we say goodbye

I was super tired today and I reached home around 2pm plus and went to take a short nap from 3pm plus all the way to 7.30pm. L0L! Yeah, so I'm pretty much awake right now, but hopefully I can sleep later! I haven't been sleeping well recently and I don't know why either. Out of 7 days, I couldn't sleep for 4 nights. It really sucks when you have school at 8am and you can't sleep at night. =[

To be is all i gotta be
And all that i see
And all that i need this time
To me the life you gave me
The day you said goodnight

The lines highlighted in white are lyrics from a song. The title is called "The Day You Said Goodnight" and it's sang by a filipino band called "Hale". It's really meaningful and it's a really nice song! Trust me! You can always ask me to send it to you if you are interested! L0L!

If you could only know me
Like your prayers at night
Then everything between
You and me will be alright

Life's always full of ups and downs. I'm sure that you will hear that phrase at least once in your lifetime. Sometimes, you just feel like you can't go on and you want to give up. However, if you perservere and find the strength within, you will be able to overcome it. No matter how hard it is, no matter how painful it is, think of the positive and believe in yourself. If you don't believe in yourself, then noone else will too. Sometimes, you look back at the happy times and the good times, wishing and hoping they will return. They will if you give yourself a chance to get everything back. Nobody said life was going to be easy. If life was that easy, there weren't be any challenges to face. Think about the happy times and the good times you had. Remember those times whenever you are feeling down and out. Lighten up because those times CAN return if you want them to. There may be even better times ahead of you, but if you keep thinking negatively, then nothing will get better. Be HAPPY! Smile! Smile no matter how bad the situation! Smile away all your sorrows and pain! =]

Oops, I got a little carried away I guess. Well, that's for everyone to think about whenever feeling down. That includes myself too! Yes! Yes! Less EMO! More Happy! Makes Shawn a _____ (fill in the blank) Boy! Alright then, that's all from me today!! Are you feeling Happier? I hope you are! Take care ok? Cya soon~! Smile! =]

"What a beautiful morning. It makes you happy to be alive, doesn't it? We can't let the sun outshine us! We have to beam, too!"
- Takayuki Ikkaku, Arisa Hosaka & Toshihiro Kawabata

OMG! An Update!

2007-11-15T22:13:00.000+08:00

OMG!! It's an update!! Yes Yes! HELLO Everyone! Did you miss me?? Sorry for the extremely LATE update!! Yes, I have been really lazy. L0L! I'm becoming like the big brother! Oh no! So how's everyone? Doing well? I haven't heard from so many of you guys! Please update me on how you guys have been doing yeah?

Alright, so things have been better! Yes! They have! Although, the next few weeks are going to be full of presentations and reports to submit, things are really looking up for me! My FYP has somehow been revived! We managed to get a different sort of spice dispenser from abroad and they arrived just yesterday, within 2 weeks! Yup! The software is near completion too, but we are at a roadblock now and we are trying to get it done ASAP! Yeah, and I'm working on the report for the FYP as well, so hopefully I can get it done over the weekends! Few weeks back, I almost felt like giving up on my FYP, but now I think all of us are more motivated to get it done and prove our supervisor that we are capable of getting a good grade!

I sort of had an exchange of words with her 2 weeks back when she made the comment about she being more anxious than us although it's our project and she said she felt we are not anxious AT ALL. She really pressed the wrong button when she said that. I told her in a not very polite way that of course we are anxious over our project and for her to say something like that it's really too much already. After that, she said she apologise and take back what she said. *roll eyes* Yes, I know everyone say she's nice and all. Let me be honest here, she IS NICE! Yes, in fact, really nice. She's a good lecturer, but not a good supervisor. She didn't help us at all this entire time. Yes, she gave suggestions, which are impossible to be done. An example, building a gray code sensor by ourselves. After clarifying with the TSO, we found out that it will take a long ass time to build a gray code sensor and futhermore, we have no background knowledge. She does give a whole lot of ideas, but it's the kind that we as Polytechnic Year 3 students do not have the technical skills to do. So, do not be misled by the kindness of one! L0L!

Did I tell you guys that I'm taking this module called "Effective People Management" for my IS this semester? L0L! It's quite a slack module! There are videos to watch almost every week! However, there's an upcoming presentation for it next week, but I think we are nearly done with it except for interviewing some of our friends who went abroad for their attachment. The title of our presentation is "Skills For Working Abroad". Yeah, damn boring and dull topic lo. Anyway, yesterday we watched this video called "The Experiment". It's a German movie, but there are English subtitles! It's based on the events of the Stanford Prison Experiment in 1971. Basically, the story is about 20 people participating in a prison simulation experiment for two weeks. Some of them will be selected as guards and the rest as prisoners. Yup, things soon heated up between both parties and let's just say The Experiment went really wrong. Yeah, it's really interesting, so do check it out! I have it if you are interested, but mine doesn't have the English subtitles. L0L! But I think if you just watch their actions, you will still be able to understand what's going on. Oh, the title is "Das Experiment" in German.

Another compulsory IS module I have to take is WISP: World Issues, A Singapore Perspective. It's something like social studies I guess. We have been learning about stereotypes and war so far. The presentation is in 2 weeks time! Our topic is about this anime clip. Oh man, I don't watch anime and I don't like it either! L0L! However, it's really interesting when you watch it and realise what they are actually stereotyping against. It took us awhile before we finally realised what it is that they are actually stereotyping about.

Oh man, I feel like playing pool again although I just played it last week when I met Khairul. Wow, you should see his hair now man. I think he can compete with Slash soon, all he needs now is the top hat. L0L! Dude, lend me one of electric guitars man, so I can practice! You can be Slash and I can be Synyster Gates man! L0L! Anyway, Synyster Gates is the lead guitarist for Avenged Sevenfold and he writes really awesome solos. He's still young and he's one of those promising young upcoming stars!

Met the big brother on Monday! Yay! We haven't meet for about a month? Or maybe even more! He came all the way to Bukit Batok to meet me ! =] He wore skinny jeans!! Argh!! Nightmares of friends promoting skinny jeans to me keeps rolling over in my head! L0L! After dinner, we went to McDonalds to do project! Yeah, we both had projects to do, but I helped him out with his too! The wireless internet was working fine at the start, but it dropped around 9:30pm, so we went over to my place to complete his project. The big brother is always fun to have around! Full of joy and laughter! He left around 1:45am and took a cab all the way back! $14 plus! Oh no! Thanks to the big brother for the wonderful and fun day! Meet me again soon!! =]

The Sunday that just past was Hongyue's birthday!! Happy 19th Birthday!! =] I'll get you your present soon yeah! =x Yesterday was Weian's birthday! Happy 20th Birthday Uncle! 20 years old already, so better start acting like an uncle! L0L! Tomorrow is Mal's birthday! Happy 19th Birthday in advance dude! I haven't seen both of you guys for such a long time already. Hope you guys are doing great yeah? Update me yeah? I know that you're not doing that well HY, but cheer up k? I don't really know what your facing right now except something to do with relationships and school, but you can always come talk to me whenever you need someone to listen yeah? I will always be here for you! =] And please take care of your foot k? Don't make me worry! =[

Oh man, I think I need to go get a haircut soon! Have you see my hair recently? It's like...

Damn! I can't upload the picture, my Internet Explorer keeps saying the page cannot be load. Aww man. I shall upload it next time I guess. Anyway, I was thinking of doing a FULL mohawk. By saying full mohawk, I mean shaving off the sides. I think it's really cool man. Leonard told me if I could pull it off, then it will really be nice. However, BxH say not nice leh because I'm skinny, so it won't suit me. Skinny then skin head mehs! L0L! How? What do you guys think? Opinions please! Oh, I remember that time BxH told me I should cut those kind of EMO hairstyle, but that's so not me! L0L!

I think I need to update my imeem player soon! It's outdated already and many of the songs have been either removed or reduced by length due to copyrights. The thing is I'm really lazy to do it because I have to slowly search for the songs and make sure they are the complete song before adding it to the playlist. Trust me, it can take more than an hour or two, but I shall try to update it maybe later or soon I promise! =x

Alright, I can't think of anything else to update already, so I shall stop my entry here! Yes, it has been a long entry too! Hopefully, I will have more time to blog and I won't be lazy! L0L! Anyway, take care everyone and have a great weekend yeah? Cya! =]

"You can be pleased with nothing when you are not pleased with yourself."
- Lady Mary Wortley Montagu

character > looks

2007-10-21T21:01:00.000+08:00

HI! I'm back! Looks like it's going to be yet another long week! Oh well, I'm just going to take a day at a time yeah? Another boring week of school to come! =[

I was watching Survivor: China on Friday and this comment was made by one of the contestants. "It helps to be good-looking". Agree? Yeah, I think everyone will agree right? Here's the thing though, are looks more important than having a good character/personality? I don't think so. To me, having a good character is so much more important than looks. You may be good-looking, but if your character is bad, do you think people will still like you?

Here's what I think most people do. When we meet people for the very first time, we will judge them by their looks one way or another. Am I right? If you see a good-looking person and just an average person. Based on looks alone, who would you approach first? Of course the good-looking one la. But let's say, the good-looking person has a bad personality while the average-looking person has a really good character, who would you rather be with? Well, some people will still choose the good-looking one, but I will prefer to be around people with a good character!

It will be an ideal thing if you are a good-looking guy/girl with a wonderful personality. It's quite often that you hear this phrase everywhere, "Don't rely on looks alone". It does help and sometimes, it helps a whole lot too, but the successful people in life don't rely on that. I know quite a number of good-looking guys and girls that are rather arrogant. Of course, there are those who are really nice to everyone! But those who are arrogant, their character really like Fuchsia. L0L! No, I don't mean the plant nor the colour. Just say it aloud and you should figure it out. =]

Therefore, in conclusion... Character > Looks ! Yes, have a pleasant character and don't be stuck up because it really turns people off in every angle or every way that you look at it. L0L! Ok, I think everyone should figure out by now that I do not like mixing with stuck up and arrogant people. If you are unable to figure that out... I can't help you fix that problem either. L0L!

Alright, check this picture out. Basically it's about friends and how to keep them. It's adorable la. Oh, if you can't see the words, try clicking the image to enlarge it.

By the way, what's uber? I hear people using it now and then, but I have no idea what it means because www.dictionary.com doesn't have the definition for it. L0L! Anyway, I don't like that word because it just sounds weird. Gavin told me that it's a German word and he told me the meaning as well, but I forgot what it means already. L0L! I only remember him telling me that alot of people use it in the wrong way.

Anyway, can someone tell me the difference between Friendly and Sociable? Is it the same? I checked the words up and I realise that there isn't much of a difference. You know, it's like same same but different at the same time? Yes, so anyone please enlighten me if you know the difference between the two words. Feel free to explain it in my tagboard --->

Alright, I'm going to stop here for today. Take care everyone! YADAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!

"Nothing is at last sacred but the integrity of your own mind."

- Ralph Waldo Emerson

1st week of last sem

2007-10-18T21:10:00.000+08:00

Oh man! School has started for 4 days already! Well, I think both the IS that I took are going to be fun. The keyword is Think. L0L! Hopefully, IS will be fun and slack at the same time. FCS practical is tough and CSAA is boring. =[

Maybe I'll never see you smile again
Maybe you thought that it was all pretend

"Once you lose someone's trust, you lose it forever."

Ever heard of this quote? I heard it before somewhere, but I'm not sure where exactly. Anyway, I find it true. Do you? Trust is something that is hard to earn and can be lost easily. Just this week, I lost trust in someone after I realised I was lied to. It wasn't a major issue, but still like I said, Trust can be lost easily. I really don't think you have to lie about something like that in the first place. Now, everyone would think that I'm the one lying just to cover for you. I can't understand why people choose to lie when they know the person they are lying to trust them. FYI: A prank is different from a lie. If it was a prank, I won't even be bothered, but it wasn't.

Why don't you hear me when I'm calling out to you
Why don't you listen when I try to make it through

"People don't remember all the good things that you have done, but once you do something wrong, people always bear it in mind."

Why? Isn't it a little unfair by the way people judge you at times? You can be nice and friendly and do many good deeds, but once you make a mistake or do something wrong, others keep it in mind and bring it up whenever they can to criticise you. Is it right to do that? How will you feel if you are put in that spot? The world is unfair indeed. People like putting others down to make themselves look better in front of their family/friends/colleagues. This usually works out in their favour at the expense of the other individual. A wise person will not judge someone based on someone else's words and remarks.

Can't you help me as I'm startin' to burn
Too many doses and I'm starting to get an attraction

Alright, nothing much to talk about this week. It's only the first week of the new semester and I just hope that it will be a good semester! Anyway, that's all from me today. I'll blog again soon k? Take care everyone! =]

"Be wise with speed . A fool at forty is a fool indeed."
- Edward Young

change.

2007-10-12T03:42:00.000+08:00

Alright! A change. A new Beginning! Indeed, OH indeed.

I don't wanna be EMO no more
I don't wanna have to pay for this
I don't want to know the lover at my door
Is just another heartache on my list

I don't wanna be angry no more
You know I could never stand for this
So when you tell me that you love me know for sure
I don't want to be EMO anymore

Yes, yes. It's by Rob Thomas entitled Lonely No More. I just change it up a little. L0L! So how do you like my new blog skin? Nice? So far, everyone say better than my previous one. L0L! Yes, EMO is bad for health and it wears you out faster. Therefore, less EMO = Happier! =]

It's so unbelievable,
And I don't want to let it go,
Something so beautiful,
Flowing down like a waterfall.

Anyway, next week school reopens! Man! See, sad already... How can don't EMO? You Tell me? L0L! I spent most of my holidays at home. I'm really low on cash and I hope those that owe me money for years can return me my money like soon? Hopefully, I'll be able to prosper financially. I'm taking surveys now to earn money. Those half an hour or an hour kind where the person interviews you for your opinion and gives you a token after it's done. I think that the fastest way I can earn money already.

I wanted to see something that's different,
Something you said would change in me.
Wanted to be, anything different,
Everything you would change in me.

I realise this, somehow I get closer to people when I open up and tell them about my problems I'm facing with. It's weird because that seems like the only way I can get closer to others. However, I don't want that to be the reason that I grow closer to my friends. I want reasons like we have a fun time hanging out and basically like being around one another instead of becoming closer because of sharing problems. Don't you think it's a little weird? Like become closer (Positive) because of a Negative thing?

Throw it away
Forget yesterday
We'll make the great escape
We won't hear a word they say
They don't know us anyway

On Monday, I was out at Vivocity with Alex, Dennis, Gavin, Jeremiah and Jeffrey. Yes, yes! New friend! Thanks for the nuggets too! L0L! So we went to Topman and Gavin said "Eh, I really wonder how you would look like in Skinny Jeans leh". Recently, Weixuan made a comment that if I were to wear skinny jeans, it would still be baggy on me. L0L! Ok, here's a prove to show you guys skinny jeans doesn't look baggy on me!

SEXY right?

Dennis looks like he's gone fishing! L0L!

Ok, seriously, I think it's quite nice. REALLY! If you buy for me, I think I will wear, but Gavin don't want buy for me lei. =[ I didn't even check the price tag though because I think it will cost a bomb. L0L! Oh, and my hair I cut already! L0L! But now I'm looking at it like quite nice actually. Oh no, I think I'm falling in love with myself! Die! Oh Oh! The T-shirt is mine! Nice right? Ok, Weixuan, any comment please keep to yourself. L0L! My face looks fat. =[

I feel like you've always been,
Forever a part of me.

Anyway, there's this Hot Air DHL Balloon located at Bugis. Yeah! I'm afraid of heights, but I would really like to take a hot air balloon. I wanted to do that for quite sometime already. The thing is that it's really expensive for about a 10min ride, it cost $23. It's about 40 storeys high right? If I'm not wrong. Yeah, therefore I think our 1B1 class outing should go take that. Let me know what you guys think? Spread! Spread! Seriously, I think it would be lots of fun! Furthermore, it's a once in a lifetime opportunity! What sia, like helping them promote for free. L0L!

Wow, I just looked up dictionary.com to check if I spelt Furthermore correctly and I realise that there's like 3 other different ways of saying it! Check this out!

Furthermore: Moreover; Besides; In Addition.

WICKED!!

Alright, I think I'm going to stop here for today. Please do give me comments on the new skin! I hope you guys like it just as much as I do! ahaha! Take care! Be happy! Be safe! =]

"Associate yourself with men of good quality if you esteem your own reputation, for 'tis better to be alone than in bad company."
- George Washington

thoughts.

2007-10-05T17:06:00.000+08:00

Guess it's time I should update. So a week of my holidays is over and it was really wasted due to empty promises? I don't know, but I guess I should have known better. I feel that I trust people too easily. Oh well, so I stayed home for most of the days. I can't do much anyway because I don't have any money. I've been thinking about lots of stuff for the past few days. Yes, I tend to think alot when I'm alone. Well, the worst part is they aren't positive. Alot has happened recently. In fact, alot of bad stuff. It seems like I need some sort of miracle or something to happen before I can be happy and smile again. It sucks whenever I think the next day will be a better day, but it never happens. Especially this week, when I keep hoping since Monday that the next day will be better, but it just gets worse. What a "Great" way to start October eh? Next week is my very last week of holidays before school reopens. To be honest, I'm not keen.

Seize the day or die regretting
The time you lost
It's empty and cold without you here,
Too many people to ache over

Avenged Sevenfold - Seize The Day

Sometimes if you stop and just think about life, you will realise that it's pretty meaningless. We, humans, are only destined for death, so what difference is there to die younger or older? Either way, you are still going to die whether you like it or whether you don't. Now, that's life for you.

When its time you fill the void
My whole life has been destroyed
And everyone around me says
My time is running out

Papa Roach - Time Is Running Out

You think about relationships, friendships and the things people still do to hurt and harm you. I don't get it. Why do they do such things if they care about you? Perhaps, they don't in the very first place? Then, why act as if they do? Ever thought about Utopia?

Utopia - An ideally perfect place, especially in its social, political, and moral aspects.

Now, weren't that be great to be in a place like that?

You say I'm looking really bad,
You say I'm looking really sick
And I don't even care
I never really did

A wise friend once told me the two most important things in life: Relationships and Money. What if you don't have both? That's how I feel. I don't have money and to be honest, I don't have a tight relationship with anyone. Not even my own family, so it makes me think how close I can be with friends when I'm not even close with my own family.

So when I'm out of control
And I'm out of my mind
Just remember one thing,
I think I'm just fine

Whenever I get closer to someone, the friendship never works out and goes sour in the end. It's hard to talk to others about it when they don't face it. That wise friend faces the same problem as I do, perhaps that's why we can click. Nothing I can do about it.

if you do not like who i am
why bother being nice
if you cannot take me for who i am
why bother to try
if you don't want to see me
why bother pretending
if you have something against me
why bother hiding it
if you don't want to talk
why bother to even try

Get it? ATB.

sad times.

2007-09-27T18:52:00.000+08:00

Hi, how's everyone? I'm doing alright I suppose. I should be really happy because tomorrow is the very last day of the VPP, but honestly, I'm not that excited or happy because of some things that happened over the past few days.

Two days ago, I was browsing through my friendster and I viewed her profile, only to realise her status is declared as "In A Relationship". I was shocked, so I talked to her online and she apologise saying it was recently only. Well, it hurts because I really thought we had something going on, but I guess I was wrong. I don't know when that "relationship" started, but I realised if I didn't figure it out by myself, she wouldn't tell me and I would still be trying to win her heart. Hah. I guessed I already knew something was going on after the second time we went out. Oh well, I cried that day and I was more disappointed rather than being angry. My bro and my closer friends are telling me not to get upset over it and I'm so much better right now. I'm over it already. I realised that maybe I made a bad decision to begin with. Well, I wish YOU all the best in YOUR relationship, sincerely.

Yesterday wasn't a very pleasant day for me either. I had an arguement with my parents and it wasn't nice. I felt really alone yesterday after what happened the day before and the arguement with my parents. I needed to talk to someone, but noone. Yeah, noone. Noone was there. I guess I'm used to it already. That's also the reason why I prefer keeping things to myself. I realise that I keep thinking that there will always be someone there for me to talk to when I'm down, but I guess I was wrong. Yes, the only person you can rely on is yourself. Trust me. I've got 19 years of experience.

Today, well I guess I'm doing better? Although I failed NAPFA at the very first station. Standing Broad Jump. (-.-) L0L! I was expecting to fail anyway, so it wasn't very surprising. I didn't even complete my 2.4km run. L0L! Alright, tomorrow is the last day of VPP and hopefully, we will be able to finish the report. This VPP has been a good waste of time and I really hope for the next 2 weeks, I can enjoy each and everyday as much as I can. After 5 weeks of 8am to 5pm Monday to Friday, I realise that I have to treasure each and every day of the 2 weeks remaining. Yes, those who are FREE, please do meet up with me! I don't want to spend my holidays at home. That will really suck. =]

Hmm... I don't have any photos to upload today. Yes, my social life has been abruptly disturbed by the VPP. Yeah, no photos, no fun! How? How about some interesting facts instead? L0L! Yes, some facts to make you get to know me better! =X

DID YOU KNOW...

Shawn doesn't like walking alone in the dark?
Shawn is currently supporting NEWCASTLE UNITED FC?
Shawn is extremely LOW on funds? =[
Shawn LOVES big hugs! =]
Shawn's favourite boyband is BSB?
Shawn doesn't like tomatoes and cucumbers?
Shawn can't do pull ups? =[
Shawn feels like playing pool?
Shawn wants to stay over at someone's place?
Shawn wants to eat Prata?
Shawn doesn't like people telling him what to do?
Shawn likes Rock music?
Shawn needs a haircut?
Shawn wants to get a job for the holidays?
Shawn doesn't like the News?
Shawn's favourite colour isn't purple?
Shawn's birthday is on Total Defence Day?
Shawn likes travelling?
Shawn hates horror flicks?
Shawn loves surprises?
Shawn's favourite TV series is Heroes?

Alright, I'm going to stop here for today. Oh, you have 21 minutes to write 21 "Did You Know..." about yourself in your blog or chickens will start flying outside your window. L0L! Take care guys and have fun! =]

"Give all to love; obey thy heart."
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

time flies.

2007-09-20T14:17:00.000+08:00

YES! I'm finally back to update! Wow, first entry in like 2 weeks? Did you guys miss me? L0L! So how's everyone been doing? I've been busy with my final year project. The sad thing is that very little progress is being made and I don't see the light at the end of the tunnel. Hopefully, things will take a 360 turn and be better.

My entire project group didn't go to school today. L0L! Weian messaged me at 5.30am and said he just reached home, so he won't be going to school. I decided not to go too because I'm down with flu and I want to rest at home. Yeah, I was lazy too! L0L! Oh, I received the letter from Mindef for the medical checkup thing. Has anyone received it too? I don't want to go alone. L0L!
For the past 2 weeks, Mondays to Fridays 8am to 5pm, I was in school working on my project.

See! All work and no play! =[ Okok, I'm lying. Most of the time, we are having loads of fun in class. L0L!

Yeah, we are throwing apples around in class now to destress.

Here's the other half of the innocent apple.

Well, most of us are busy with projects and school and work that we don't have much time to meet up like before. Thankfully, I still manage to catchup with friends and close ones! Last Thursday, I skipped the team building to meet Fei Ge. L0L! Did I mention that NAPFA is next week and that there's no way I'll be able to pass? L0L!

Anyway, it was nice seeing Fei Ge after a long time. Although we only met for 2 hours, it was still worth it and thanks for the letter and the gift bro! =]

Last Friday was a good day too! I met up with Alex, Dennis, Gavin, Jeremiah and Farhanah. Dennis and Jeremiah came over to my place first, so that Gavin could pick us all up together. Yeah, so they came over and we played the xbox for awhile before Gavin picked us up at 6.30pm? We went to pick Alex up later before proceeding to Marina Square's Billy Bombers for dinner. Farhanah came and meet us at the restaurant later. Dinner was a rush because we booked tickets for Rogue Assassin at 9.45pm at The Cathy. Honestly, Billy Bombers isn't that fantastic afterall, but they give huge portions. After all the rushing, we went in the cinema about half an hour later? L0L! That movie is Violent! In fact I felt that the rating shouldn't be NC16, it should have been like M18. One of the most violent movies that I've watched recently with body parts flying around like nobody's business. L0L!

When the movie was over, all of us when like "HUH? You understand or not?". L0L! Yes, a complicated movie indeed, but in a good way. I think the storyline was pretty good, but I don't like Jet Li because he's always the last man standing. Oops, did I spoil the ending for those who haven't watch it? L0L! Movie was over around 11.30pm? Yup, so we walked back to Plaza Singapura where Gavin parked the van and off to the prata shop near Farhanah's place. I didn't eat anything, but I drank the teh tarik there and it was atrocious. L0L!

The Peacemaker

The Mafia

The Sleeper

The Driver

The Sexy Beast! ^^ (please keep your comments to yourselves! L0L!)

Yeah, after prata, we sent Farhanah back first, then Alex then Dennis. Jeremiah, Gavin and I stopped near Dennis place there because there was this accident there where the car crashed into the tree and the tree's bark came off revealing the "monkey god". Yeah, I didn't see anything interesting though, but there were still quite a number of people there considering it was 1.30am. Oh well, so after spending around 10 to 15 minutes looking around, Gavin sent us back. I reached home around 2am and took a shower before going to bed. Oh, take a look at the hottest boyband in town...

Smiley, Sassy & Sleeper!

Our New Single, "Back of Your Van" will be in stores soon! L0L!

On Saturday, I went with Justin, Mal and Kumar to catch I Now Pronouce You Chuck And Larry. L0L! It was a M18 movie, but I think it should have been NC16. L0L! What's wrong with the ratings nowadays man? L0L! Anyway, the movie was funny and pretty alright I guess. If you want a good laugh, then you should go watch it. I'm sure that you'll end up having a good laugh no matter what you're going through.

I was suppose to rest at home on Sunday, but I ended up meeting Fei Ge in the evening around 7.30pm? I met him at Redhill and we were deciding where to go from there. He said he felt like going to Sentosa's beach, but it was raining and late and there's nothing much to do there. L0L! We ended up going to Tiong Bahru Plaza and just walk around. From there, we walked all the way back to his house and just talked and have fun. It's nice hanging out with my big bro! =]

Alright, so this week is the usual going to school thing. Not much activities yet, but hopefully something will come up tomorrow or over the weekends. I can't believe September is coming to an end so soon! Oh, I'm currently watching a drama series called "Brothers & Sisters". It's a pretty interesting show about a family and the problems they face day to day. Yeah, I'm watching online season 1 right now and I think they are already showing season 2. L0L! I'm always slow when it comes to watching the nice TV series. I think that it's worth watching because the issues brought up are very real and people can actually relate to.

Oh, Vanessa ask me organise class outing for 1b1. How? Everyone's busy with projects and it's hard to find a date when all of us are free. Hmmm... I guess the weekends will be better for all of us? L0L! We'll just have to see how it goes I guess. I'm always lousy at planning such things! =X Anyway, I think I'm going to stop here for now. I just took my flu medication and it's making my head spin. L0L! No worries, I'm ok and hopefully, I'll fully recover by tomorrow! Yup, so take good care everyone and god bless~! =]

"If you have a talent, use it in every which way possible. Don't hoard it. Don't dole it out like a miser. Spend it lavishly like a millionaire intent on going broke."

- Brendan Francis

i'm tired.

2007-09-05T19:30:00.000+08:00

Oh no, 1 week without blogging makes Shawn missing from his friends. =[ Anyway, how's everyone? Well, the VPP panel review is next monday and yes we have finally kicked off. We've got things to work with and I'm confident that we will prove everyone who look down on us WRONG! RAHH! Ok, rewind back all the way to last Wednesday.

Went out with Her again to AMK Hub after school. Luckily, Wednesday was my PPP course, so it ended at 1.30pm when it was supposed to end at 4.30pm! Woohoo! Yeah, it was super slack and we didn't even buy the lecture notes. L0L! Anyway, we went to catch...

Ratatouille!!

Yes, a 2 hour long cartoon about a rat who likes cooking and humans. L0L! It was nice! Yeah, we walked around AMK Hub before the movie because it was still early. They have some really cool shops there man. There's like this Football shop that sells jerseys and all. The Newcastle jersey is like $109? I want it!! I wish I had more money especially right now. =[ After the movie, we walked to S11 for dinner! Then we walked back to her neighbourhood because she was going to her friend's house to comfort her. I had fun! I hope you did too! =]

Thursday was normal project days and it was boring! Our supervisor did pop by and caught us playing games in class. She started scolding us for not doing our work and stuff. It was one of those scenarios where "one ear in, the other out". L0L!

Look! 4 of us have the same wallpaper! L0L!

Friday was a fast day! There was this mass PPP seminar at 2pm and it was supposed to end at 4pm, but it ended at 2.30pm. L0L! Before the seminar, we did a little work before gaming till it was time. After the PPP seminar, I met up with Alex, Gavin and Leonard before heading to Bukit Batok to meet Qing Xiang and Weixuan. It was a post birthday celebration for Alex! Sorry, I'll buy you a present soon k? Delay a bit because these few months no money. So we headed to Plaza Singapura's Manhattan Fish Market in Gavin's van. The queue was super long and I think we waited for at least half an hour before we were seated. The seafood platter was quite alright in my opinion, but I still think the one at Fish & Co. is still much better!

Seafood Platter! (Fish, Fries, Mushrooms, Calamari, Prawns and Rice all for $29.90!)

Lobster Platter for the RICH! (Fish, Fries, Calamari, Mussels, Lobster and Rice @ $69.90!)

My hair wasn't messy, it's qx camera! =[

See! It makes wx's head real BIG!

Do-Re-Mi!

He's a gangster on the road, so please do horn at him if you see him! L0L!

Yes, we had loads of fun! After dinner, all of us except Leonard went to catch No Reservations, which is a comedy romance movie according to me. L0L! Really Wad! There's humor, love and mainly cooking. It's a pretty nice movie and worth watching with that someone special too! =] After the movie, Gavin sent us all back in his van! Thanks Yo! L0L!

Alright, the weekends was pretty boring. I stayed at home because I was feeling super tired after a week of VPP and I have 4 more weeks! It's really tiring going to school from 8am to 5pm, Monday to Friday. Oh well, but I met Alex and Gavin for dinner on Sunday at Holland Village. We had Stingray, Hot Plate Venison (Deer Meat) and Kang Kong! Each of us paid about $13 but it was really worth the money.

I had this conversation over the weekend with Jeremiah and it was hilarious. Take a look at the 4 images below for more. L0L!

L0L! Yes, that's JeremiahlivE for you right now. Darkness everybody Darkness! L0L!

Alright, so since Monday we have been working on our final year project and we are progressing slowly, but surely. Yeah, we just need to find the spice containers and we can start making good progress after that. Today we met at 10am at Bukit Batok to head to this D&T shop at Bishan. We told the guy what we intend to do and we got the idea faster than any of the lecturers so far. L0L! He told us what were the hardware components that we needed and we managed to get the motors and stuff for $45. Now, I'm more confident in making out the product than ever! So the next 2 days are going to be busy days. Tomorrow there's this photoshoot at 2pm and Friday is our industry visit at 9.30am. The next 2 days are really going to be busy days because the VPP panel review is on Monday. Hopefully, we can get some workpiece done to show them that we are doing our work and not just gaming all the time. L0L!

Anyway, that's all for today. I'll update again when I'm free and that will most likely be over the weekends or next week. Alright then, take care everyone and cya soon~! =]

"They say dreams are the windows of the soul--take a peek and you can see the inner workings, the nuts and bolts."
- Henry Bromel

VPP = Slack.

2007-08-28T21:00:00.000+08:00

Hey guys, today's the second day of VPP already and we've officially done absolutely nothing. L0L! Pretty cool huh ?

Yeah, so yesterday we had this briefing at 10am about VPP and stuff. There's going to be industry visits as well as seminars and talks. Oh well, I wasn't really paying attention though. L0L! I was playing poker on my mobile phone. After the briefing, most of the groups that were supposed involved in the VPP simply left. Being the good boy that I am, I stayed with the rest of my project mates and... GAME for the rest of the day! WOOHOO! We even had a Party! No, we were not celebrating the start of VPP.

All of us have this as our wallpaper!

As for today, I reached school about 8:45am? I idled around and chatted with my friends before I decided to take a snooze. I woke up later and looked around. Kee Wei's Sleeping. Bing Hong's Sleeping. Nicholas's Sleeping. Daryl's Sleeping. Jasper's Sleeping. Weian's Sleeping. So as a member of the class, I went back to sleep again. L0L! Everyone was awake at 11:30am and we went for lunch. We came back and game all the way till the supervisors came. L0L!

The final year project's pretty screwed up, but we still managed to seek our supervisor's help. We emailed the company asking for the price and shipping details and our supervisor's going to help us to send a fax over to them. Hopefully, all goes well before we get permission to get our budget.

My dad came in and talked to me earlier on. He said he's cancelling my second line as well as his own line. =[ He told me it was too expensive and I'm kind of worried right now. Are we facing financial difficulties? Oh well, I shall pay attention to my expenses from now on and not spend money unnecessarily. Alright, that's all for today! Take care everyone~! =]

"A man should not leave this earth with unfinished business. He should live each day as if it was a pre-flight check. He should ask each morning, am I prepared to lift-off?"
- Diane Frolov and Andrew Schneider

Last Day of Holidays.

2007-08-26T17:49:00.000+08:00

HELLO! Tomorrow is the start of VPP and I'm not too keen. =[ There goes 5 weeks of holidays, but well I had fun the past 3 days, so there isn't much to complain about. Or maybe there is ? L0L! So let's rewind!

Thursday! The first day of my unofficial holiday! I met Dennis, Gavin, Jeremiah and Weixuan. Dennis and Weixuan had to get some stuff before they head for Langkawi, so we went to Marina Square. We had lunch at Macs before walking around! We went to Creative and I found out that Prodikeys (the keyboards thing that you can use on your desktop) is really cool!

I think that was the one I saw and they were selling it at $69! To be honest, I think it's really affordable. I can actually use that to learn to play the keyboards before I get the real thing. Yeah, I'm thinking of getting it, but I wonder if I will actually practice. L0L! I think it's time I update my wishlist on the left too! L0L!

Anyway, we were walking around, then Dennis went "Joachim!" and I went "Where?". Indeeds Indeeds! It was him and he was alone so I accompanied him for awhile and the rest went "So it's like that la!?". Yes, it is like that wOrXx! L0L! So I spent some time with Fei Ge after not seeing him for a month or more? We talked about stuff and explained to me other stuff. After about an hour or so, he went off. I went back to join my friends and Jeremiah went "I always Joachim was a tall and skinny guy, I didn't know he was some short and fat guy".

~!@#$%^&* ~!@#$%^&* ~!@#$%^&*

JeremiahLive, you live up to your name indeeds! Tsk. So we went to Bugis after I met up with them. Dennis and Weixuan bought their stuff from Bugis Street and we went to the Bugis Kopitiam for dinner. The Cheese and Sausage Prata is nice! Do try it yea! We proceeded home after that! Wooohoo!

Friday!! That day I've been waiting for! On Thursday night, Fei Ge said he wanted to meet me around noon time first. Well, didn't meet in the end. *rolls eyes* Expected and pretty used to it already. Oh well, forget it because even if I do talk about it, it falls on deaf ears. Hah.

So screw that. I went to meet HER in school! Yayy! We met at the bus stop and proceeded to Cineleisure! On the way there, I was spotted by Terence, Kai Hoong and Siqi! o.O The Secret was showing at 5:30pm and we managed to get tickets, but it was the front row. You'll be surprised though that it wasn't that bad afterall! Yes, I'm talking about the seats...

... as well as the movie itself. L0L! Although it was a Chinese movie by Jay Chou, it was good, seriously! I enjoyed it! The best part was there were English subtitles! Woohoo! After the movie, we walked around Cineleisure and then to Heeren! We decided to go Paragon after that and had Pepper O's while walking there! Yayy! We met Jasper and Grace on the way there and Jasper was boasting to me about him and Grace being in the Teenage magazine. ACTION! No worries, we'll get our turn too! =]

We slacked at Starbucks and she had Chocolate Frappuccino while I took the Chocolate Chip Cream. Chocolate Chip Cream not nice one, please do NOT try. L0L! We took a bus to Bishan and another bus to her place. She showed me around her area and it seems to be more happening than my area. =[ I sent her to her lift lobby before heading back for home! Yayy! I had a great time and I hope you did too! =] When we catching Ratetouille at AMK Hub? I can't wait! =]

Saturday!! I met Dennis, Gavin and Weixuan and we went to Cineleisure because Dennis wanted to visit the EMO shop there: "Revoltage". L0L! The clothes there are quite cool man, especially the skull with the Top hat and the other skull with the shades. L0L! There was a discount going on and Dennis managed to get a Tee at $23! Man, I wish I had more money! We proceeded to Dolby Ghaut to meet Leonard before heading to Clark Quay. We walked around Central and I have to admit that place is a maze. The place is huge and some shops there are pretty cool too!

Jeremiah came to join us and all of us headed for MindCafe! Yes! The highlight of the day indeeds! L0L! Basically, MindCafe is a place in Boat Quay where you can play board games. There were 6 of us, so we took the 6sixers package at $56 for 2 hours. It's quite reasonable because we could choose 5 drinks of our choice, 3 snacks of our choice and 2 munchies of our choice as well. We reached there at 5.15pm, but they only started the 2 hour count at 6pm! L0L! I think it's because they served us the food and drinks late. Let's see, we played Jungle Speed, Taboo, Express-It Guess-It, Jenga, Compatibility and I forgot the name of the last one. L0L! Nono, don't ask me to describe the games or this entry will be 20 pages. L0L!

Jungle Speed

Taboo

Express-It Guess-It

Jenga

Compatibility

I had a whole load of fun! Yes, I'm hoping to go back there again soon! FUN! FUN! FUN! After all fun and games, we went to Hooters for dinner before heading home. I was super tired after dinner and I didn't stay online till very late either.

As for today. My plans were cancelled. How wonderful especially since it's the last day of the 4-day holidays that I do have. Oh well, I also cannot be bothered already anyway. Also, expected it. Here's the thing now, I'm always there when others need me, but when it comes to me needing someone, noone's there. Indeeds, every man for himself. Well, at least Newcastle's match is tonight! Woohoo! The new club I'm supporting against the club I used to support. Newcastle VS Middlesbrough tonight at 8.25pm on Channel 27!

Alright alright, that's all from me! I'm going to play Football Manager! Yay! Oh no, VPP starts tomorrow! Guess I won't be so free for the next 5 weeks. Oh well, take care everyone! Have a great week ahead! =]

"Sharing food with another human being is an intimate act that should not be indulged in lightly."
- M. F. K. Fisher

Yayy!

2007-08-22T22:14:00.000+08:00

Hi. Exams are OVER! Yay! 4 days of holidays! -.-

So, Software Engineering paper was so much better compared to the previous paper. I hope I can get an A too. Well, hopefully all goes well! So check this out, Jasper, Weian and myself were studying in the school library today. We figured out that since the papers we are taking aren't testing our English, shouldn't we just write the keywords? L0L! Then Jasper came up with this way of blogging to blend all the words with the background except the keywords. So, the person reading will have to guess what the blogger is reading and he can highlight the text to see if he/she is correct. L0L!

Don't you think that's a pretty interesting way to blog? Yeah, I'm talking about blogging like this! L0L!

Don't worry, I won't continue to torture you guys. L0L! But to be honest, it's a pretty cool way of blogging right? Alright, so I’m hoping that I spend my next 4 days wisely and not waste a single minute of it. Well, I know Friday would be a wonderful day to come! TEEHEEHEES! =X

Ok, word of advice to people who do not know me well. Do not come and disturb me when I’m EMO-ing especially if you aren’t close to me. It only makes me more frustrated. If I feel the need to talk to someone, I will know who to talk to. I also hate it when people keep pestering me by asking me why I’m not replying to their messages and stuff. It’s really annoying, seriously.

Anyone feeling RICH? I REALLY REALLY want a Nintendo Wii. It’s about $500 and it looks super fun. Although I already have an Xbox, but Wii offers different games and the wireless controller is simply wicked. There isn’t a directional pad, so in order to turn right, you tilt the controller to your right. Uh huh Uh huh. I think racing games will be super fun to play on Wii.

Nintendo Wii! Indeeds!

Alright, things are better now! Yes, things are finally looking up. The month of August seem to be heading upwards now and let’s hope it stays that way. Hmmm… I’m hoping that my plans for the next 4 days remain intact. I can’t bear to miss a single minute of the 4-day holiday.

Oh well, VPP starts next Monday and I guess there isn’t so much time for fun and games anymore. It’s time to get to serious mode and get started on my final year project. This PD thing will be the worst “module” to ever fail in my opinion. 5 weeks of VPP starting from the 27th of this month. Mondays to Fridays 8am to 5pm, please tune in to Class 6-3-8 to get your daily dose from Shawn. L0L! Yes yes, please come and visit me anytime if you’re feeling bored as well. =X

I haven’t touched my Xbox for quite awhile already and I suddenly feel like playing Mortal Kombat Armageddon! Yeah! My favourite game! I know, it’s a little violent, but HEY! I’m a MK fan! I started playing Mortal Kombat on the old Nintendo, the one even before Nintendo 64. Mortal Kombat Armageddon is also on the Nintendo Wii and I get the feeling that it’s super tricky using the Wii controller to play. L0L!

a fight scene in the game

Sub-Zero, my favourite character!

Know something? I feel like learning to play the keyboards and drums suddenly. L0L! I know how to play the intro of Where’d You Go on the keyboards! L0L! Oh well, we shall see how things go. Especially since VPP is starting and I won't have time for anything. =[ Alright, that's all for today! 2 more days! Yay! Take care everyone! =]

"Never discourage anyone...who continually makes progress, no matter how slow."
- Plato

updates!

2007-08-17T18:41:00.000+08:00

HELLO! Yes 8 days never update already. 8 is a lucky number, so that's why I'm updating today especially since my CCA paper is tomorrow! L0L! Hmmm... I want to do well and get an A seriously. However, since my common test was pretty messed up, I have to get like 80+ for this paper? That's possible if the guidelines given are accurate and I hope they are. I really studied hard for this paper! REALLY! It's the Quality, not the Quantity! So... wish me luck yeah?

Ok, my excuse this time for not updating for 8 days is not because I'm lazy, but because of the EXAMS! Ok fine, I was lazy too. L0L! I was busy studying ! Oh well, tomorrow's my first paper and my second paper is on Wednesday. Damn, I hate Software Engineering, there's so much to memorise! If I fail that paper, then I fail the entire module! =[

On the brightside, I have 4 days of Holidays before VPP starts! YAY! -.- Damn it! 5 weeks of VPP from Monday to Friday 8am to 5pm. There goes 5 weeks of my holidays and I'm only left with 2 weeks of holidays after that. =[ See la... Who the heck says this month is going to be the BEST month of all. What a joke! It feels like I'm going to work for 5 weeks man. Oh well, what to do? Life like that... BUT I'm happy because Friday I'm going out with HER after HER last paper! WOOOHOOO! YAY!! LALALA! DOOODOOODOOO! I'm as happy as a cow! o.O So, where do we go huh?

Today, my horoscope says...
Instead of being mad at someone, connect with them. Find out what they meant to say.

There couldn't be a better timing. *Sighz* If you do read this, which I'm pretty sure you won't, just know that whatever happens, happens. It sucks whenever something like that happens and it hurts because you are the closest to me. However, sometimes, the things you do are unbelieveable and it makes me think if you ever spare a thought about me. I'm always there when you need me, even if it means cancelling other appointments or even skipping school just to meet you. Then I stop to think... When was the last time when I called and said I needed you and you were there for me? Don't remember? Yeah, I can't either because you never did. You are always busy with stuff ALL the time. I'm not asking you to be there 24-7, it's like rarely when I call and say I need you, but you're never free. So... I cancel all my other appointments and even skip lesson once when you wanted to meet me, but you have NEVER done the same. Also, whenever we meet, it is always at YOUR convenience and rarely at mine. I never talk to you about these because I respect you fully. However, enough is enough. You told me once "A friendship works both ways". Is it really working both ways? I don't feel that way. Yes, I'm mad at what you did, but I'm more upset rather than mad. Did you spare a thought for me? I really don't know what has got into you? I missed the good times and the fun times. It hurts whenever I think about all the fun we used to have even at the airport. *Sighz* I did love and care about you a lot. I don't know how or what I feel right now, but I guess time will tell. I don't know where we go from here, but I just want to wish you the best in everything you do from here on out. Sorry. Take care.

Well, I don't think I can go on blogging already. =[ Anyway, best wishes to all who are taking their Exams and study hard too yeah? Take care and god bless everyone including you. =]

"Cherish all your happy moments: they make a fine cushion for old age."
- Chris Morley

Backstreet Boys - Still

I still need you
I still care about you
Though everything's been said and done
I still feel you

=[

National Day!

2007-08-09T23:11:00.000+08:00

Hey! How's everyone? I think the month's getting a little better? Today's National Day, so Happy Birthday to Singapore! Damn! I still have to go all the way to school tomorrow to submit my CCA report. Well actually, I have to complete it as well because I'm only half done, so I guess I'll be heading back to school tomorrow around 9am? I also need to get started on my Software Engineering report which is due on next Monday. Exams are on the 18th and 22th. =[

Hmm... I guess I have to study tomorrow as well once I'm done with all those reports. Man, I hate doing reports especially when I have no idea what to write. I think my CCA report like 90% is all nonsensical nonsense. I haven't started on my Software Engineering report too, so I'm in trouble because that is 80% of the miniproject. I completed the Rational Rose diagrams, but I didn't really touch the actual application because it's only 20%. I did the layout of the forms and wrote only 10% of the codes? L0L!

Man, 9 days of August just flew past like that. I hope that next time will go a little slower because I need all the time to focus and concentrate on my studies. Although I only have 2 exam papers this semester, but I'm struggling with both and I'm afraid that I will fail. I don't want my final year in poly to be screwed after working so hard for the past 2 years. =[

Oh, my desktop sort of crash. I don't know what happened to it, but whenever I on it, it has to do some setup thing, which takes pretty long before it can boot up. Anyone has any idea how do I fix it? I still want to use my desktop to download all the movies and shows! L0L!

Oh well, I'm going to stop here for today because I'm going to try out the Fantasy Soccer on soccernet that Daryl recommend to me. L0L! Take care guys and have a great weekend! =]

"Living is having ups and downs and sharing them with friends."
- Trey Parker and Matt Stone

"We judge ourselves by what we feel capable of doing, while others judge us by what we have already done."
- Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

november rain

2007-08-04T23:44:00.000+08:00

Do you need some time...on your own
Do you need some time...all alone
Everybody needs some time...on their own
Don't you know you need some time...all alone
I know it's hard to keep an open heart
When even friends seem out to harm you
But if you could heal a broken heart
Wouldn't time be out to charm you

Sometimes I need some time...on my
own Sometimes I need some time...all alone
Everybody needs some time...on their own
Don't you know you need some time...all alone

- Guns N' Roses, November Rain

That song can describe how I'm feeling. It hits the nail right on the spot. I take back what I said about this being the best month so far because it's nowhere near that. After yesterday, I get the feeling that it's going to be yet another rough month. Am I in the wrong AGAIN to keep certain things to myself for the better? Why don't you understand? Maybe if you were there for me more often than you would. I can't even find the time to talk to you. You are always busy with whatever it is. Even if I do tell you my problems, do you actually care? Honestly, I do not know. You say you want to help by giving advice, but the "advice" you give aren't even called advice. With the kind of "advice" you give, I rather not share my problems. There isn't anything for us to talk about especially right now. It's always my fault anyway. Sorry for not being who you want me to be. I just want some time alone for now and away from all of these...

It's August!

2007-08-02T22:27:00.000+08:00

Yay! New Month! Wooohooo! Yesterday was a good day and today is still alright! Yes! It's going to be a great month for me! I had a feeling yesterday that this month is going to be the best month for me by far. Yeah, so I'm excited to see what August has to offer besides Exams and Projects. Hmmm... I have a rough idea of why it's going to be the best month by far. L0L! Well, I shall not spill the beans yet.

Man, tomorrow is Friday, but I still need to go to school! Damn! Friday is suppose to be an off-day for me, but I need to complete my Software Engineering mini project. Well, I'm going to study in school tomorrow too! From Thank God It's Friday (TGIF) to Damn It It's Friday (DIIF). L0L! Kidding! At least I don't have lessons tomorrow, just that I need to seek the lecturer's help. Hopefully all goes well and I can finish my mini project as well as focus on my studies. =]

Something happened today that kind of pissed me off, but I think about it and I just cannot be bothered already? Hmmm... I guess I've learn to let all this pathetic nonsense just slip by recently. It does concern me, but my true friends know who I am and won't listen to these kind of people. In my last post, I talked about judging me based on first impressions. Guess what I'm going to talk about today after that incident? Judging me WRONGLY after being my classmate for a year. Dude, how dare you? Obviously, you do not know me at all to say stuff like "You don't care about others already", "You are sour" and Blah Blah Blah. Hmmm... if you truly think that I'm that sort of person, then why hang out with me still? Maybe you should learn to grow up and mature a little yeah? =]

Also, I HATE people telling me what I should or should not do. It's MY life, not yours, if you didn't realise by now. So kindly MYOB and stay out of mine. =] I really can't stand people like that. You are not my dad, even he doesn't tell me how to lead my life. You are not even my close friend, so who are you to tell me how I should lead MY life? There's a difference between being caring and being KPO. If you are trying to be "caring", you are doing a damn lousy job. Seriously, just stay out of my business.

Ok enough. Tomorrow would be a better day! I'm going to focus on my studies from tomorrow onwards and I won't slack around anymore! That's my declaration. I think I need to get out of my house because I can't seem to hit the books at home. Last semester I didn't want to go out to study because I could focus at home better, but it seems different this time around. Hmmm... I think I'll just head to school or somewhere nearer to study alone or just with 1 friend. That is to ensure that I do not end up talking or doing anything other than studying.

Oh! That day, Malbindar was telling me that there is this rather new ice-cream place at Holland Village, opposite Haagen-Dazs and close to Breko. He said it's pretty good! So... *drum rolls* Dear, would you like to go with me? =X Yes, you! You know who you are! Since you always stay up so late to read my blog, I bet you will be seeing this real soon! And you didn't reply my sms today. =[ ahahah. Study hard for your exams ok? Don't always sleep! =X

I'm feeling super tired and sleepy right now. I don't even know why. My energy level has been pretty low recently and I think I should sleep earlier from now on! I need to wake up early tomorrow and go to school. Oh well, I guess I shall stop here for today then. Anyone want to go study on Sunday? Give me a ring yeah! Take care all and have a great weekend! =]

"If an idea's worth having once, it's worth having twice."
- Tom Stoppard

"Then give to the world the best you have. And the best will come back to you."
- Madeline Bridges

i need a new bag!

2007-07-31T00:50:00.000+08:00

Hey, I talk like old man mehs? My neighbour who is 17 said so! She visited my blog and said that I repeat stuff like a old man. Alamak. How? I'm still 19!! Young!! I haven't hit a 2 at the front yet like *ahem* Alex *ahem* Weian *ahem* Shawn - The Evil Twin who stole my name! Damn! How? Tell me how? I think I need more sleep too! I'm starting to see the 'W' word !! OH NO! Wrinkles! *Sighz* Depressed already.

National Day coming!! Wooohooo! Like as if I care like that. L0L! Ok la, this year special! New location! New stage! New performances! Hah... Oh Jasper!! Secretly admiring my blog and stealing my quotes!! L0L! Bring your guitar to school leh dude, then we can "jam"! Ok la, more like noise pollution. L0L!

Hey, I need a new bag man. My current one, which I "stole" from my Dad is breaking! I'm worried that one day I walking walking like stylo milo then suddenly break. SiBeI MALU sia. HOW? I borrowed another bag from my dad again, but not nice la. I intend to get the Adidas PVC bag, but it's a little bit pricy @ $65. So, anyone want to buy for me? Fei Ge? Oh Bryan! Your commercial break over already from just now right, so are you going to buy me a new bag? =X

I just realise it's the last day of the month! Also, I haven't been doing a summary for the past few months. Aiya, nVm la hor can figure out yourselves that I'm poor! =[ Well, hopefully August will be a better month? July has been full of surprises and overwhelming emotions, but I guess that's how it is right? I won't want my life to not have any surprises, then it will be pretty boring eh? Oh, I'm back to my guitar again! Yup, after neglecting practice for quite some time, I'm back and worse than ever! L0L! Slowly but surely right?

Are first impressions cheap auditions? Hmmm... We all know that giving a good first impression is extremely important, but is it fair for us to be judged solely on our first impressions? People tend to get me wrong most of time based on the first impression that I give (especially adults/parents). These are what I think they think of me: Rebellious, Stubborn and Arrogant. Hmmm, I'm not an arrogant sort of person. I will talk to you if you are willing to open up to me! Rebellious? Well, at times I do admit, but that doesn't make me a permanent rebellion savvy? Stubborn, ok you hit the jackpot on that one. =X My friends, before they get to know me, will always say that I look like a Fierce person. It's the eyebrows la! Not my fault! L0L! At least I'm smiling more now right? If I don't smile, then yes I do look a little bit intimidating. ahaha!

So, don't judge me based on first impressions unless I give a good one of course. L0L! Kidding. Get to know me better before anything! If you choose to not be friends after getting to know me because you don't like me, then it's cool with me. However, if you based friendship on first impressions, then it's unfair towards me. Frankly, not cool with me either! =[ Yes, I'm a good guy if you are come to know me well! Right Guys? *sees many heads nodding* L0L! Well, get to know me THEN judge for yourselves yeah? =]

I realise that everyone's been pretty busy lately, that's including myself. I'm not meeting up with my friends as frequent as I would like to because everyone's busy and I also no money la. L0L! Hmmm... Well, at least they still bother to chat with me online! =] It's pretty tough nowadays to meet up with the people I care about because of our different schedules. At least, I know that they do want to meet me! Yes, I can tell easily if someone is interested to meet up or not. L0L! Friendship works both ways right? Give and Take! Don't just Take and Take! Get it? Not directing it at anyone in particular *ahem* L0L!

Oh man! Derrick's going to NS in October! Hongyue's going to start Uni life soon! Kumar's in NS already! Mal's going for attachment soon! I'm going to kick into Gear 2000 for my FYP! *Sighz* EMO already. L0L! Man, I want to have a party! The sort of party where I invite all my friends even if they don't know each other to get together and have fun. Sorry, that was just some randomness. I think August is going to be a rather quiet month for me. DUH. 8am to 5pm in school from Monday to Friday. What do you expect? ahaha... =[

k la k la, stop here for today already la. Later people say I sound like old uncle, then mampos and EMO again. L0L! Well, take care everyone and have a great new month ahead! =]

"Always remember others may hate you but those who hate you don't win unless you hate them. And then you destroy yourself."
- Richard M. Nixon

"The universe is not hostile, nor yet is it friendly. It is simply indifferent."
- J. H. Holmes

P.S: I can really relate to both the quotes above! Enjoy~ =]

<3

2007-07-28T22:57:00.000+08:00

I did it!! I did it!! I can't believe I did it also! I finally managed to motivate myself to get her number! Yay!! ya la ya la you know who you are already! =X I saw her 4 times in 4 days too! Friday was the only day I didn't see her because I didn't have school that day! L0L! 4 times in 4 days lei!! Is it pure coincidence? Or is it Fate? Tehehehe!

Yea, I know I haven't updated for quite awhile. Oh well, I guess I have been a little busy? L0L. Next week is the Panel Review!! Oh No! Well, I guess you can say that my group is semi-prepared? Tuesday must wear formal already! L00k bright and sharp and work my charm! L0L.

Oh these past 3 days have been really rough. 3 bad things in 3 days isn't something to look forward to man. Yea, if you guys didn't know, my friendster account got hacked last night about 12am. Luckily, I managed to find out around 12.30am, so not too much damage was done. As for the other 2 incidents, well I don't want to talk about it honestly.

On a lighter note, I went to catch The Simpsons today! It is hilarious man and yeah I think you guys should go check it out or at least download it. L0L. Oh No! Bad influence. Seriously, go catch it! It really made my day better and I'm sure that it isn't a waste of money like everyone thinks it is.

Yup! I suppose that's about it? It's been a good as well as a bad week for me, so hopefully next week would be a better week for me! Oh well, take care and have a great weekend everyone! =]

"One never knows what each day is going to bring. The important thing is to be open and ready for it."
- Henry Moore

"There's no easy way out. If there were, I would have bought it. And believe me, it would be one of my favorite things!"
- Oprah Winfrey

"Sometimes you can't see yourself clearly until you see yourself through the eyes of others."
- Ellen DeGeneres

P.S: 3 quotes to counter 3 unfortunate and bad events! =]

relationships.

2007-07-22T18:41:00.000+08:00

I'm back to blog! heh! Today I shall be touching on the topic of "relationships". L0L. Chey chey. Very rare ok! Therefore you must read till the very end of it! =X Hmmm... I don't know about everyone else, but I realise that relationships is a very complicated thing. I see more unhappy couples compared to happy ones in fact. Ok, maybe that's because I only notice those couples that argue in public. Obvious wad! L0L. So here are some examples...

I had a friend who at one point of time did 2 timing. He dated 2 girls at one time. Obviously, it's morally incorrect and it's just wrong. He managed to get away with it and never got caught. Perhaps he was smart enough to have one girlfriend in the East and the other in the West. Imagine 2 timing man, aren't you being two-faced? No? Acting in love with one girl when you are with her, but at the back of your mind thinking of the other and hoping that you won't get caught. Oh well, I was really shocked when he told me about this 2 timing thing and I hope that he has become more mature. The worst part was he broke up with both of them in the end.

That day when I was on the 61 back home with Jeremiah and Weian, we saw this "couple". The girl was sitting in front of the guy because there were no more seats left together. The guy was putting his arms over her neck. Please. Considerate a bit can? I standing there then you doing this kind of things and blocking my way with your arm and he had a big head. What? I'm being honest. Ok, so whatever I'm Shawn right! When there's a Shawn, there's a way! L0L. So the person got off and the girl moved in, so that the lovey dovey couple got to sit together!! So ROMANTIC right!! So check this out. You know how to put your arms around the girl when you sitting BEHIND her, but when you sitting BESIDE her and obviously it's more convenient and sensible, you don't know? I told that to Weian and we went tehehehehe. L0L. We realised they had an arguement of some sort and I saw the girl complaining that the guy was squeezing her shoulder earlier on when he put his arms around her. L0L! Then, when she wanted to alight from the bus, the guy didn't allow her to get out as she was sitted inside. Aiyo... Ape sia this kind of guy. SianZ.

Okok, something more interesting for you guys to think about. Hmmm... Imagine you and this girl have been friends for many years and you are interested in her in a way. Will you ask her to be your gf? I heard on the MRT once when this guy was telling his friends that he wouldn't get into a relationship with a girl who he has been friends with for a long time. I didn't eavesdrop la. I just happen to be standing beside only. L0L. In a way I agree with that guy because if you get into a relationship with a girl you have been friends with for years and the relationship turns sour, then all those years of friendship will be gone. Agree? Sad Right? =[

On the contrary, it may also work out really well because both sides know each other rather well already over that number of years. Yeah, and it's really cool when you guys have been friends for many years and get together in a relationship! In my opinion, it can work both way depending on the individuals I suppose. =]

Hey, is the IN thing right now to get a girlfriend 5 years younger than you? L0L. Fei ge's girlfriend is 15 and Pan ge's girlfriend is 17. Damn! What's wrong with the world mamma? L0L. Kidding! I suppose it's alright if you feel connected as a couple right? However, I'll prefer a girl who is not more than 2 years younger than me? Ok la, give and take 3 years. 5 years a little too much for me man. She will be like 14 man!! o.O Luckily for me, she's at least 17!! Year 1 mah. =X I suppose a lot of commitment is needed in a relationship yeah? I don't think anyone should get into a relationship just for the "fun" of it. In my opinion, if you are not committed, then the time isn't right for you to get into a relationship yet.

Anyway, to maintain a relationship with someone, this is relationship in general and not just bf/gf. I feel that you have to stay in contact with that person and talk to him/her often. Even if it is through MSN, phone calls or meeting in person. If you don't talk and check to see how he/she is doing, then most slightly you wouldn't be able to maintain that relationship, let alone strengthen it. Yup, so if you are not capable of maintaining friendships, then I think it will be probably even harder to maintain a relationship with him/her. Also, another important thing and something I notice quite often too. When someone gets into a relationship, he/she somehow immediately forget about his/her friends and cannot be bothered about them anymore. I sure hope that isn't the case for my close friends if not obviously they are not my close friends already right? L0L.

Oh wello, that's all from Doctor Shawn today! L0L! Tune in again soon for yet another impactful and amazing entry! ahahah! Have a great week ahead! =]

"Before you do anything, think. If you do something to try and impress someone, to be loved, accepted or even to get someone's attention, stop and think. So many people are busy trying to create an image, they die in the process."
- Salma Hayek

update.

2007-07-18T21:25:00.000+08:00

Hey! How's everyone? Yup, I just completed that Tagged game. Why must 6 weird things? Why cannot be 6 interesting things or something else? I should create my own game an ask people to do. L0L! It will be call six6ers! Awesome!! L0L!

Oh CCA retest was today! I have confidence that I can pass this time, but it doesn't matter how much I'll get because it will be capped at 50. Oh man!! I saw her yesterday and today too! We had eye contact again!! I don't know how to approach her though. It's really weird!

Die! I still remember that time at the airport with Leonard and Qing Xiang. We were sending Qing Xiang back to Germany, then I told them I already have 2 people in mind and I shall not go get anyone else. Few months later... AIYO! How? You tell me how? =[

Anyway, we have been busy doing our report on Monday and Tuesday. It's due next Monday and I think we are more or less done already. I still need to do my CCA miniproject report and start studying soon for my exams!! *Sighz* How?

Oh yesterday Jeremiah told this really funny joke! It was referred to this certain race group. I think you guys will figure out by the end of it. L0L! One day, there were these 5 guys who wanted to go clubbing, but the bouncer didn't allow them in. So they called up another 20 more guys. The 20 guys came and joined the rest of the 5 guys, but the bouncer still didn't let them in. There was a sign hanging on the wall saying "No entry below 21". L0L!

Anyway, I think this year is a good year for movies man. There seems to be a number of good movies so far and more to come too! Rush Hour 3 is coming out and it seems hilarious! Balls of Fury too! L0L! Anyway, I'm stopping here for today. I'll try to update again soon k? Take care and have fun guys! =]

"The customer doesn't expect everything will go right all the time; the big test is what you do when things go wrong."
- Sir Colin Marshall

sAbO oNi...

2007-07-18T19:54:00.000+08:00

Tagged by Gavin & Colin also right that time? No time do only L0L! ...

Rules: Each player of the game starts off by writing 6 weird things about themselves before choosing another 6 of their friends to “sabo”. People who get tagged needs to write in a blog of their own, 6 weird things about themselves and state the rules clearly.

1. Sometimes when I talk to people, I'll look elsewhere instead of looking at them.

2. I get distracted by the softest noise. (Guys, remember that time @ TCC when I keep hearing that coffee machine thing? L0L!)

3. When I'm just about to sleep and someone calls, I can remember who called but not what the conversation is about.

4. I can get high on stuff people don't usually get high on. L0L!

5. I Hate Beer.

6. I L0ve Hugs!! Is that weird?

Next 6 people to do this...
1. HER! HER! HER! if she ever sees this that is...
2. Brobby!!!
3. Hongyue
4. Jasper
5. Apple
6. Gavin (the rules didn't say u cant sabo back the person who sabo-ed u, so wad see see!? go redo la!)

Every man for himself.

2007-07-13T21:05:00.000+08:00

Oh dear, I have neglected my blog recently! Anyway, how's everyone doing? Hmmm... I've actually been quite busy lately with school work and stuff, but i'm ok!! Oh! I saw her on Tuesday!! She caught me checking her out! Oh No! Or perhaps, I caught her checking me out! L0L! She was with all her friends, so I couldn't get the chance to talk to her. =[ *Sighz* How? You tell me how? I'm left with a few weeks before school closes!! =[

I went to run on Wednesday again!! Yay!! I stopped and walked for 100m? I ran the rest of the time! Wooohooo! I actually wanted to go run again today, but I was too lazy. =[ L0L! I finally managed to complete my CCA miniproject today as well, but I still need to submit the report for it. Oh no, I need to work on my fyp report too and complete the Flash Application design. Damn! So much to do... so little time... When there's a Will, there's a way! When there's a Shawn, there's no Will. L0L!

"Every man for himself". That's how I've been living my life recently. Yup, that's how the way it is in this world. You can deny it all you want, but at the end of the day, it is truly every man for himself. Everyone always prove me right, so that's why I decide to live life this way. It's pretty cool in a way because I'm now less sensitive towards how others treat me. L0L! Now, when people I do not know or even friends say hurtful things towards me, it's like whatever. L0L!

Dudes, let's be honest here. Do you think your friends will always be there for you through thick and thin? Come on, let's not live in denial. We all know the cold hard fact, it's just a matter of admitting it. The sooner you realise it, the better it is for you. See!! That's why I'm not EMO already!! The reason being, I've accepted the fact of life! =]

Well, I don't expect everyone to agree, in fact I think many people will disagree with my point. That's up to you to decide. I'm not saying don't give a damn towards everybody. In fact, please do give a damn towards everyone. L0L! However, just know that at the end of the day, it's just you and you alone facing the world.

"Friends come and go, but good friends will stay with you forever." Man, do you really believe that? That kind of "good friends" is like 1 in 100 or even more. So if you can find that 1 "good friend", then congrats to you. That quote should have never been said. Instead, this should have been. "Friends come and go. At the end of the day, every man's for himself". The only people that will be there for you 24-7 and more are your parents and your spouse. Savvy?

Ok, why did I suddenly bring this up to talk about? To let everyone know the cold hard fact. I don't want to say "See! I told you right!" at the end of the day. Yeah, so it's just something for you guys to think about and hopefully learn to accept. Anyway, I'm stopping here for today! Have a great weekend guys! =]

"You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you."
- Dale Carnegie

I wanna get to know you.

2007-07-09T19:13:00.000+08:00

Okok, time to update! So how's everyone? Miss me??? =))))))))))))) No? =[ L0L! Lame la... I'm tired!! I just came back from a jog. Tired ah tired!! I think my timing still about the same. *Sighz* =[ How? You tell me how ?

Today is project day and I actually have things to do!! L0L! We were working on our report to be submitted by the end of the month. So, I'm trying to get it done within the next few weeks! Anyway, tomorrow is Tuesday!! I'll get to see her because she's having a class near my project room! Yea, I think almost everyone know about her already, especially all those in my project room! L0L!

Last week, Bing Hong caught her checking out my photo and touching it. *faints* People usually say they are on Cloud 9, but I'm like on Cloud 2009 man! L0L! The coolest part was that I was already checking her out before Bing Hong told me she was checking me out too! Aww... Then, last week after her class was over, I followed behind her and her friend. I heard one of them said "That's Shawn". She turned around and looked!! Aww...

Hopefully, things will go well tomorrow and I'll be able to really get to know her! By saying that, it means that I'm keen on getting her phone number! L0L! That's going to be tough and weird before I have never done anything like this before man. HOW!?!?!? I'm excited yet nervous yet anxious yet eager. L0L! I'm thinking... What if she she decline giving me her number? My heart will be shattered!! L0L! Oh well, just wish me luck k? Hopefully, Shawn will bust a move tomorrow! L0L!

Oh well, nothing much left to blog about I guess. Even if there is, I don't remember! L0L! Alright then, cya all real soon!! Oh, any idea where I can print t-shirts at a good rate? Do let me know if you guys know of any place k? Thanks! Take care all! =]

"Perfection is a road, not a destination. Every time I live, I get an education."
- Burk Hudson

1st July!

2007-07-01T23:16:00.000+08:00

Hey!! First day of the new month of July! Did that make sense? Ahahah... don't know don't care... Ok, Thursday going to watch Transformers!! Woohoo!! But I want to watch Surf's Up!! Guoqing said it's nice! There's something wrong with my playlist!! The songs are all broken down into molecules. L0L! Chemistry! AIYO! I'll try to fix them in school tomorrow. L0L! Oh then again, I might not be in school tomorrow! L0L!

Eh, I seriously can't believe June flew by so quickly. I don't even know what I have been doing seriously. I think I gain weight though because I have been eatting a lot recently. Don't know why either. Do people eat more when they are stress? Or do people eat more when they are hungry? L0L!

Anyway, Alex you can skip this paragraph. L0L! Today's Sunday, which is Service day. Something's wrong. The past 2 weeks I didn't have the FEEL to go for service, but I still went. I decided to watch service online from now on too. Yeah, I feel like I'm drifting away when it's not even 3 months yet. How? =[ Hopefully someone can slap the bananas out of me and wake me up... wake me up inside... wake me up inside... call my name and save me from the dark... L0L! Jitao become rock song.

Ok, Alex you can continue from here. L0L! Oh no, CCA miniproject due by end of the week. How? Uh Oh Hot Doggg!! Cheeseburger!! French Fries!! Luckily, I have successfully infiltrated Alpha Town last Thursday to gather very much needed information on the ladder diagram. I managed to complete it and now I have to test to see if it works, so finally things are looking up for China Town! L0L! FYI: Alpha Town consists of the Computer Alpha students and China Town is myself, Jeremiah and Weian. L0L! The Unstoppable Alliance! ^^

Hmmm... There's this live concert on the 7th of July showing on TV. Basically, singers from around the world are going to perform around the world! Isn't that COOL!? 07/07/07 L0L! Alrighty then, I'll stop here for now because I can't think of anything else to say. I'll blog again soon though! Take care guys and have a great week ahead! =]

"Real joy comes not from ease or riches or from the praise of men, but from doing something worthwhile."
- Sir Wilfred Grenfell

failure.

2007-06-27T20:51:00.000+08:00

Man, it's been nearly an entire week since I last updated! Miss me? L0L! I'm kind of down right now because I failed my common test paper. It's the first paper I failed in Poly. =[ How? 39% only leh! *Sighz* oh well... I just hope that I don't screw up my final year in Poly. There's a retest in a couple of weeks, but I seriously do not feel like going for it.

So yeah, you guys should guess my now that school has officially reopen. It's been tiring these few days especially when you are unable to sleep well at night and when things just cloud your head. *Sighz* I'm ok, I can still survive.

I don't really like how my life is right now, but I can't change it. That's the saddest part. Sometimes I wish that just one good thing can happen to me each day, but that never happens. Maybe it does once in a few days, but never once everyday. Perhaps I made a lot of wrong decisions in life and that's why I have to live with it now. =[

Hmmm... I'm not updating on my daily life because there really isn't much to talk about. Since school reopen, I have been really tired everyday and I just don't have the mood for anything man. It's tough when you are out here alone. Have you ever thought of what life would be like if you were born in a different family? I think about that all the time, but don't get me wrong. I won't want to change my family. Life would probably be much different right now if I was born in a different family. That's for sure.

Oh well, at least I'm off on every Fridays. Hopefully, I'll be able to relax and take things easy this coming Friday. No plans yet for me. Perhaps staying at home would be a better option? I don't know. Life just feels strange recently. Yeah, strange's the word. Especially when I'm alone. That's the thing! Whenever I'm around friends, everything would be ok and I'll be having a great time as usual. However, when I'm alone... I guess I tend to think a lot? Or perhaps, reality sets in?

Man... I don't know what I'm going to do... *Sighz* Take care you guys. =]

"If you have the opportunity to play this game of life you need to appreciate every moment. A lot of people don`t appreciate the moment until it's passed."
- Kayne West

Stress.

2007-06-21T00:56:00.001+08:00

Ok, I think I'm stressed out. I have no idea about what. I just feel so odd right now. Suddenly I have absolutely no mood to do anything. I seriously think I'm going to screw up my final year. I have a miniproject to submit by next week and I have no idea what to do. My final year project seems to be getting nowhere. My studies are going downhill. Finances are such a burden. Dad's going to kill me when he see the phone bills. Mum isn't doing too well recently. I haven't been sleeping well at night. WTH IS WRONG!?

School's reopening next week and I'm worried. I feel like quitting man. I realise engineering isn't really what I want to do anyway. Oh man, this really sucks. Perhaps the reason why I can't sleep at night is really because of STRESS. Damn. I don't know what I'm going to do. I still have my software engineering miniproject to worry about and I don't know a thing. This is crazyyy...

I had minimal fun this week. I just need to talk to someone badly now man because I don't know what I'm going to do. It's just hard typing stuff out at this hour and tearing and thinking about everything. I'm not being emo. I'm just really stress out right now and worried about stuff. I can't do this on my own man. What do I do now?

My back's against the wall. There's nowhere to run to. No place to hide. Noone to talk to. It's insane. It's like an endless chain of problems. You solve one, then you have to solve the next and the next and the next and there's just no freaking end. I just wish that things were different. I don't regret anything that has happened to me, but I just wonder what things would be like if my life was different man. Sometimes I just wish... wish that things were different...

I need a doctor... or someone... anyone... =[

Botak Jones.

2007-06-17T00:02:00.000+08:00

Ok, I seriously think that I have sleeping disorder. I have not been sleeping well for the past few nights and that day I felt someone kicked me. The next day I felt pain in the chest area and the following day my toe bleeding. Damn! It is crazyyyyy!! I keep getting nightmares too and now I'm scare to go to sleep. L0L! How? =[

Anyway, have you guys tried Botak Jones before? The US Ribeye Steak there is nice! To be honest, the price is reasonable too! It's $14 for 200g of steak, a whole lot of fries and coleslaw too! No, it isn't a restaurant either! Surprised? L0L! It's a stall in Kopitiam and I think there are around 5 outlets in Singapore. The nearest one for me is at Clementi! Nice! Nice! It is nice... I LIKE! I'll go again soon once I have the money! Cash leh! Kopitiam mah...

Know something? I still have yet to buy anything since the Great Singapore Sales started. No feel leh and budget too. Oh well, I think it will last till at least the end of the month right? Should I buy the $65 Adidas bag? But I think I need to get some accessories first! How?

Oh... I think I want to open a POSB or DBS account for convenience purposes. The problem with the UOB one is that there isn't a monthly statement, so everytime when I work or for school stuff and they require the monthly statement, there will be a problem. I got not enough money to open an account though. L0L!

Ok, short entry!! I'm stopping here for today! ahahah people always complain my entries too long! L0L! I'm lazy to blog more too! K guys, take care and have a nice day hey hey... Have a nice day! =]

"Guard well within yourself that treasure, kindness. Know how to give without hesitation, how to lose without regret, how to acquire without meanness."
- George Sand

weird dream.

2007-06-11T20:00:00.000+08:00

Ok, I just woke up from my nap. I had a weird dream...

I was on this bus to God knows where. I was sitting beside this girl. I think she's younger than me la because she looks younger mah. Yeah! She's pretty too! Suddenly she said to me "Hey, you know Joachim right?". I said yeah and we started talking and flirting...

You all know how the timeline in dreams goes right? It's like so much faster than in reality that sometimes it is so scary because you could be in one place at one moment and another in the next instance. Ok, continue story...

...within 5 seconds, my arm was over her shoulder and we were snuggling and continue talking about what, I have no idea...

You all know how we tend to be unable of remembering certain things or people during the dream when we wake up? Yeah, so read on...

...there was this person sitting in front who turned around and started talking to her. I have no idea who the person is or at least I couldn't remember. I cannot recall the conversation they had also. Ok, screw that la not important. L0L!

The next part wasn't made up at all. It was a true DREAM experience. Please feel free to laugh your balls off because it is somewhere hilarious...

...the strange thing about her right is that whenever she looks away and looks back at me, her face will change!! Ya! Ya! Like you know in China they always got this performance where the performer can change his mask each time he turns away and looks back? Don't know never mind, but it's freaky because she isn't wearing a mask! AND! Everytime she turns away and looks back, her face will become uglier seh!! OMG! Then the LAST face was jitao one freaking abigail sia! Even worse than Ugly Betty! WAH KAOZ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! -.="

Ok, not end of dream yet. The next part is like so weird also because I will never do such a thing in real life la. Aiyo, this is a crazy dream...

...still, we continued talking. Yeah, I cannot believe it either. This proves that I look at inner beauty more than the outside! Chey Chey!! Anyway, she started getting really flirtatious with me and I returned the favour. She started saying stuff like "But you don't even like me and all. =[" Blah Blah. Apparently, I replied saying "Nono. I DO like you!! Really!!". Then I wanted to show that I have feelings for her by giving her my number. She tooked out her mobile phone and ask me to key in my number. I saw in her inbox that there are messages from Joachim! Ok, scary. I didn't see the messages la, I just went and tried to key in my number. I keep pressing the digit '9', but nothing appeared on the screen!! When, it finally did appear, her phone auto shut down!...

The dream only gets even more weird from here on...

...so I said no problem and I took out my phone and asked her to key in her number. During that time, we reached our destination and the driver was chasing all of us out impatiently. In like 2 seconds, both the doors were closed and there were only less than 5 of us left on the bus. The driver was bitching about how he was going to tell our parents and all about us not getting off the bus. WEIRD LA DAR! Apparently, during that period I didn't see her already and she's missing for the rest of the story...

This is the part where it proves that Aquarius are rebellious when restricted...

...I stood up and said "It's not like we are not paying you or something". I think I said something like that, somewhere along that line la. The driver got irate and I pushed him back into one of the empty seats. A mini riot started! Another guy got up from his seat and was about to whack the bonkers out of the driver...

THEN I WOKE UP!!! Really wake up already! So my eyes were open already la. *OUCH* I felt a sharp pain at my left side near the kidney area. It felt like someone had kicked the sh!t out of me while I was sleeping. The thing is that there isn't any scars or marks or anything. Luckily, the pain subsided already. Ok, moral of the story is... Lovers are just like friends; they come and go.

L0L! WTH!! No, I'm just kidding!! ahaha! Moral of the story is... Sleep well at night! L0L! Yeah! I seriously think that I have sleeping disorder or something. I haven't been sleeping well at night recently. It's like I want to sleep, but I can't. Then I'll toss and turn for very long before I'm able to sleep. Sometimes, I can't even sleep at all. Then everytime I will wake up at around 8am. So early for holidays!! I will try to get back to sleep after that and sometimes I can, but if I do, I'll wake up at 11am or 12pm feeling super tired. How? I think I should see a doctor, but I get the feeling the doctor won't know what's wrong also. Maybe he will say stress? HOW? =[

Anyway, I fell asleep at around 6.25pm? I received a call from Fei Ge at 6.19pm just before I sleep! Perhaps, that explains how he's related in the story. Yeah, but no link also. Anyway, when I woke up, I cannot recall what he said to me or what I said to him before I went to sleep. It's like I kept thinking and I sort of figured it out after half an hour, but I don't know what else I said also. This is the thing about me, when you call me just before I sleep, I'm like HIGH? Sometimes I don't even know what I saying. Here are the 5 different levels...

Level 1: Awake - lying and lazing around, but no intentions of sleeping yet.
Yeah, I know what's going on la. I'm paying attention la.

Level 2: Sleepy - mind's wandering off to dreamland.
I still can pay attention to everything that you are saying and hold a proper conversation. I'm capable of remembering everything we talked about when I wake up.

Level 3: High - sleeping with my eyes open.
I can still reply normally, but my mind isn't thinking about anything except sleeping. When I wake up, I can only recall certain parts of the conversation over time.

Level 4: Drunk - eyes closed, but mouth speaking.
This is when you shouldn't talk to me because I'll start blabbering nonsense and stuff you won't like. When I wake up, I would be wondering what you called me for.

Level 5: Asleep - what? jogging mehs?
This is when the phone continues to ring. When I wake up, I'll be thinking oh you called me ah?

Yes, so the ideal situation is call me at level 1 or 2. Anything other than that isn't really appreciated. L0L! Yeah, and try not to get offended by me when I'm at level 4. L0L!

Ok, back to reality already!! Let's see, I didn't manage to sleep on Saturday, so I was super tired yesterday. However, service was great! I was full of energy during the entire service leh!! Power!! I went with Dennis and his cell group. They were nice! I feel like I'm a ksiao resident in his cell group leh. L0L! After service, met fei ge to pass him something before going to Outram Park to wait for Khairul.

I was super tired when I reached the station just before 2pm, so I sat down and waited for him to arrive. I fell asleep while waiting. He reached at 2.30pm and we proceeded to Chinatown Point for lunch. After that, we went to China Square Central because I had to help fei ge collect his printed jerseys. The guy was nicer than I thought and he's the English speaking type! He told me how to walk to Peninsular Plaza too. So Khairul and I slowly walked there because budget mah. We went there to take a look at guitars and I bought 2 individual strings, while he bought a whammy bar. After that, we really slacked around and wander around aimlessly. I was waiting for fei ge actually, then in the end I cannot wait already, so we went home. zZz.

This morning I was supposed to meet Malbindar at 10am at Jurong East. I called him around 9.45am and told him to meet 10.30am instead, then I fell asleep. Before I knew it, I received a phone call from him and I still thought it was early la. I asked him what time and he said 10.30 la. I was shocked, so I rushed la. Then go everywhere also wait. Wait for the bus so long. Wait for the MRT so long. In the end reached at 11.30am and we head to Little India. He needed to do some stuff for his photography class, so I helped him out a little. We went to Blue Diamond for lunch before he headed to school to develop the film while I head home because I was super tired. I had no idea why. I slept on the bus during half the journey. According to him, it was something they had put in the food. Ok, nothing else to blog already! Hopefully I won't have any more weird dreams tonight! L0L! Take care all and have a great week ahead! =]

"Understand that the right to choose your own path is a sacred privilege. Use it. Dwell in possiblity."
- Oprah Winfrey

laptop's back!

2007-06-09T00:34:00.000+08:00

Yay!! I'm back on my Toshiba laptop!! Woohoo!!! The FEEL is so much better compared to my desktop man. Yay!!! Anyway, 5 days without blogging makes Shawn's blog inactive. =[ So let's see...

Monday and Tuesday, things were not so good due to some misunderstanding, but it's all good now. Yeah, didn't really study or sleep well in the end. I screwed up the common test paper pretty badly, but I'm just hoping that I can still pass. =[

Wednesday, I went with Alex, Dennis, Gavin, Jeremiah, Kelvin, Leonard, Tim and Weixuan to Qingxiang mum's funeral. I hope that Qingxiang and his family are coping well. After that, all of us except Dennis went over to Gavin's place. We played mahjong till about 8pm plus before going for dinner. Oh!! His dog likes me!! Yay!! What can I say? I'm likeable! L0L! After dinner, we left for home!

Thursday, I went to Toshiba service centre to collect my laptop! I took the MRT to Kallang and took a cab from Kallang to the place. $4! L0L! My laptop is all good right now! They even fixed my down button for free too as it wasn't supposed to be part of the warrenty. Woohoo!! The keypad looks brand new too! After collecting my laptop, I took a cab to SSDC to fetch fei ge before going to Redhill. I went to the AXS station to print the movie tickets for Ocean's 13 in the evening. The paper that came out was the admission ticket and I thought it was the receipt. I went like "That's the ticket!?". L0L! We went to lunch after that and I accompany fei ge to see the doctor and the dentist. I hope that you're feeling better bro and thanks a million for the AX cap!! I left around 5.45pm to meet Alex, Dennis, Gavin, Jeremiah and Weixuan for the 6.50pm movie at Vivo City. Ocean's 13 was alright I guess, at least it's better than Pirates of The Carribean 3. L0L! We had dinner at SuperDog before heading back home.

Friday, I met Leonard in school about 1pm. We took a bus to town and went to UOB first because I wanted to replace my damaged debit card. They told me I had to call the call centre for replacing damaged debit card because they could only replaced damaged ATM cards. In fact, I just called them and I will be receiving my new UOB debit card in 3 to 5 days! We went for lunch at Kobayashi before proceeding to Apple Centre after that to settle my MacBook Pro. In the end, they told me that they can't install the Bootcamp thing without the cd and they didn't have stock for the Windows XP Home Edition and the Professional Edition cost $288. I told them I'll get the cd and come back another day. *Sighz* We went over to Far East Plaza and I managed to get a pair of slip-on shoes. I think nice leh, but Farhanah said that I'm becoming like a mat. =[ *Sniffz* We went to Marina Square to walk around, but didn't manage to buy anything. So we had our dinner at this Dim Sum cafe called "Bao Today" and the Dim Sums were good! We proceeded to the airport after that to meet up with Farhanah and her boyfriend before sending Gavin off. When I reached home, it was 5 minutes to 12am. -.-

Since Tuesday, I haven't reach home everyday till after 11pm. Fortunately, I'm staying home today to rest and relax a little. I'm tired!! L0L! I have not been sleeping well this week. I don't know what's wrong, but I don't think anything's wrong either. It's just that I can't sleep at night that well and I wake up early in the morning for no reason. How? =[ Eh... I wanna go eat Seoul Garden lehh!! Go with me? I wanna go eat Dim Sum too! Oh, here's my wishlist for June! If you're feeling rich or nice, then buy for me k? =] It's in order and from #1 being the most wanted! L0L!

#1 Adidas Dark Blue PVC Sling Bag $65
#2 Adidas Living Jacket $83.30
#3 Bucket Belt $40?
#4 Bling Necklance $20?
#5 Nike Pouch $30?
#6 Levis Relaxed Straight Jeans <$90
#7 Dark Green Polo Tee $30?
#8 Camera <$500
#9 Wallet $50?
#10 Pencil Case $20?

Yup! Buy for me k?? Ahaha, I'm super sleepy right now, so that's all from me for now! Take care everyone and have fun ! =]

"Never let the fear of failure be an excuse for not trying. Society tells us that to fail is the most terrible thing in the world, but I know it isn't. Failure is part of what makes us human."
- Amber Deckers

the butterfly effect.

2007-06-03T23:55:00.000+08:00

Yay! First post of June! L0L! How's everyone doing? I miss my laptop. =[ I haven't receive any calls from Toshiba yet. Man, they are really taking their time! Well, at least I don't have anything to distract me from my studies right? I can imagine if my laptop was around, then I would be going online and chatting and gaming and doing everything else except studying. L0L! Anyway, maybe my laptop spoilt for a reason yeah? Hmmm, but I realise that it isn't such a big deal afterall. I mean honestly, I think I had more fun since my laptop decided to part from me. As in, I actually spend more time with friends outside because I don't have anything to do at home. Yeah, and that's a good thing. In fact, it's a great thing la! =]

Ok, last month was an alright month for me and I still can't believe it's over so fast man. I had a whole load of fun especially during the 2 weeks when my parents were away in Europe. Heh! It was a wonderful and amazing experience!! I didn't spend that much money compared to the previous month. Well, don't count in the MacBook Pro because my dad's going to sponsor me! Yay! Isn't he nice? Then again, it's a family computer, so he should pay for it right? =X However, I realised that I went drinking 4 times last month. Uh Oh hot dog. How? Yeah, I need to cut down and not go drinking anymore unless my friends ask me. In fact, I went drinking today again. L0L! Social drinker!!

Have you guys heard of this term called "Butterfly Effect"?

The phrase refers to the idea that a butterfly's wings might create tiny changes in the atmosphere that ultimately cause a tornado to appear (or prevent a tornado from appearing). The flapping wing represents a small change in the initial condition of the system, which causes a chain of events leading to large-scale phenomena. Had the butterfly not flapped its wings, the trajectory of the system might have been vastly different.
Recurrence, the approximate return of a system towards its initial conditions, together with sensitive dependence on initial conditions are the two main ingredients for chaotic motion. They have the practical consequence of making complex systems, such as the weather, difficult to predict past a certain time range (approximately a week in the case of weather).

To put it in layman's term, the things that you have or experience today might not be like that it if there was a minor change in the past. Yup, I was thinking about it on Friday when I took a stroll back at night from Bukit Batok interchange to my house. Don't worry, I wasn't EMO or anything, I just wanted to take a walk and think about everything man.

It was an amazing walk for like 30 minutes or so? It felt like a trip down memory lane. I started to recall so much from my life in Primary school to Secondary school to Poly. It was a really wonderful feeling and I walked past the badminton court where I used to play badminton with my primary school friend! Yeah, that was just one of the many things that I recalled. I suppose everyone is thinking about what has any of these have to do with the Butterfly Effect.

Hmmm... just think about it. You shouldn't regret anything that you did all these while. The reason being, you wouldn't be where you are today if you didn't do certain things in the past. Perhaps, you might not even meet the people that you met. Sure, you may regret not studying hard or not working hard or some other stuff. Just imagine, if something as little as a butterfly is able to change the course of everything, then how much impact will you have if you didn't do the things you did? I thought about it and I realised maybe I screwed up my PSLE for a reason, maybe I got into Tanglin Secondary for a reason, maybe I didn't do well for my 'O' levels for a reason, maybe I didn't get into a good class for a reason, maybe I didn't get into Aerospace for a reason, maybe a million other things...

Everything happens for a reason. Sure, at that point of time I may feel down and upset and disappointed and all. However, think about this. If I did do well for my PSLE... I would have gone to SJI. I wouldn't have met all the wonderful and amazing people I have met. I would probably be in NS now after completing my 'A' levels. I'll probably still be that introvert kid I was in Primary school. I probably would't end up in church and become a Christian too.

Get what I mean? I know now that all these things that happened to me, both good and bad had to happen. If any one of these small things didn't happen, I wouldn't be here right now typing this. My life would be different and yes, I do think of "what ifs" all the time. I think about what if I was born in a different family. What if I was brought up differently. What if I got better grades. What if I didn't meet such a person. What if this, what if that. However, no matter how much I think about it, I never ever thought about changing my life.

I'm happy and contented with my life and with everyone I met. Sure, there's been ups and downs, but hey, isn't that part and parcel of life? What would life be without any obstacles? Yes, smooth, but horribly boring! Sure, I've met people who I wish I've never met, but then again, they are the ones who make me a stronger person today. What would it be like if everyone you meet in your life is fabulously wonderful? Yes, that would be ideal, but we all know how the world is like AND you wouldn't be a strong person then because you have never taken a fall before.

Is Professor Shawn making any sense? L0L! Ok, the moral of the story is: Be happy with what you have today and live life with no regrets! Chey Chey, I think I can become consultant liao. L0L! I think everyone should know this about me... Although I'm a very EMO person and I do get extremely down at times, but I'm still happy at the end of the day! Yup! Eventually, things will look up if you want them to. Oh, you know what was the best part of that entire walk back home? It was the last song that played on my phone before I reached home. This song is by Howie Day and it's entitled "Collide". The chorus goes like this...

Even the best fall down sometimes
Even the wrong words seem to rhyme
Out of the doubt that fills my mind
I somehow find
You and I collide

The last 2 lines!! How cool is it, that at the end of the day, I manage to meet all of you!! Especially those close ones of mine! Heh! Yeah, so I would like to dedicate this song to everyone that knows me! The song is on my playlist on the left on the screen. Just double-click on it and listen to it! =]

Anyway, I'm pretty tired right now. L0L! I went out in the afternoon to meet Malbindar, Serene and Hongyue for drinks at Holland Village! I met Alex after that in the evening for dinner and to study!! Man, my common test paper is on Tuesday and I'm a little worried. I hope I'll be able to ace it! L0L! So my plan for this week is Tuesday evening go for farewell dinner with Kumar because he's booking in on Thursday. Wednesday, accompany Gavin for the day and send him off at the airport. That means 5th time going airport this year. L0L! Oh oh, anyone wants to spend Friday with me? It's a special day!! 2 months!! Heh! I'm stopping here for now! Take care everyone and have a well deserved break! =]

"We could never learn to be brave and patient, if there were only joy in the world."
- Helen Keller

Vesak Day!!

2007-05-31T16:45:00.000+08:00

Hey Oh!! Time to update!! Let's see, last Sunday I went service with Dennis and his cell group because fei ge not feeling well. Service was alright and so was his cell group members! ahaha! Fei ge was feeling much better, so he said he will accompany go get my MacBook! Yay! I head for home first and met him at Redhill at 3.30pm for lunch? We talked about stuff and basically everything like my concerns and all. Of all the big bros in the world, I've got the best one !! Yay! We took a train to City Hall and proceeded to Peninsular Plaza. He had 2 belts and he wanted to remove the bucket from one and replace to the other belt. Everything cost more than 10 bucks right? Including the screws and all. L0L! Expensiveness!! The funny thing is he cannot wear the previous belt that had the bucket on it. L0L! Time to lose weight bro! ^^ Or you can just give it to me! =]]] The latter sounds more logical because the formal is clearly not possible. L0L! Oh, then we went to get my guitar strings and the girl was from Tanglin my year one!! But no Tanglin discount leh! $8 so expensivess!! =[ And you know something? I still have yet to restring my guitar man! L0L! Then, we walked around to see belts and find this shop call "Drum Resources" because fei ge wanted to go. So hard to find, then found already not open. ~!@#$%^&* =] We walked to the bus stop after that to take a bus to Wheelock Place, but had to stop at Cineleisure there and walk! -.- On the way to Wheelock Place, we saw fei ge’s cell group leader, but she didn’t see us! L0L! After we reached the Apple Centre, I clarified with the staff about everything before I started looking for things to get with the $180 voucher. It’s quite stupid because they only allowed you to use the voucher on that day itself. The thing is that I still have to come back to collect my MacBook Pro, so why can’t I use it when I come back to collect it? I wanted to get the JBL Creature II speakers at first, which cost $169. However, I realized that the MacBook Pro doesn’t come along with a mouse and the mouse cost $88. I decided to take the mouse over the speakers. That means I still have $92 to spend and I had no idea what else to get, so fei ge helped me out. I got a protector for my iPod Nano, which is with my dear big bro now. -.= Also I got this screen protector for fei ge’s MacBook. After getting all of those, I still had $4 to spend, but there’s nothing in the shop that cost $4. I decided to forfeit that $4 because I’ll still get a free 1GB iPod Shuffle and a free Crumpler bag! Yay! L0L!

This is the part where Shawn starts to complain. L0L! The service at Apple Centre is just horrible la. I checked with the staff if I could put a deposit for the MacBook Pro and pay the rest the next time I come to collect it. He said it is possible and that’s why I agree to get it. During payment when I was at the counter, they said that I have to pay the full price for promotional items. I didn’t know if the cheque my dad gave to me had gone through yet, but I didn’t really have a choice but to pay anyway. They used my Visa and it was declined. They told me to pay $2,000 by Nets first. KNN! $2,000 worth of Visa points gone! It was accepted, then I paid another $1,000 by Visa and it was accepted too. I still left $448 to pay, but it kept declining. Seriously, I think the staffs like semi-retarded. I already paid $3,000 leh, do you think I will run away with the rest of the money and even the free gifts total up also == $180 + $139 $99 = $418 only. Anyone who knows simple math will know that I’m at the losing end if I run away with that $448. At most, you keep the free gifts with you all la, then when I come back and pay the rest then take. So scare for what sai? I verified that they were fully-retarded when they told me to go to the nearest ATM to withdraw the rest of the money. Don’t you know that the daily limit for Nets is $2,000? I still wanted to go just to check if I had enough in my account and I didn’t want to hold the line either.

So fei ge and I had to go all the way to Far East Plaza because that was where the nearest UOB ATM was. Fei ge was super pissed off by their service. Scary!! He was more pissed than I was. L0L! We reached the ATM and I checked my card… UH OH Hot Dog! Available Balance: $99!! L0L! We really laughed out after seeing that. L0L! We went back to the Apple Centre and I just told them I couldn’t withdraw anymore because I have already reached the daily limit. Fei Ge told them “We already paid $3,000 for it, it’s not like we are going to run away or something”. L0L! Thanks bro! I think I would have been lost if fei ge wasn’t there to help me. =] I told them that I’ll pay the rest when I come to collect the laptop. They had to discuss with 200 other staffs about it. Ok, exaggerate abits, but they needed like 5 staffs including the “Boss”. Balls la. No brainer. L0L! In the end, they agreed. I mean seriously, what choice did they have? L0L! I already paid $3k, they will refund me meh? L0L! They also agreed to give me the gifts first. Everything was done about 8.30pm. Aiyo… I was really disappointed with their service la. Horrible!! =[

Ok, enough of complains from me. Is there a daily limit for Visa? No right? Now I scare already! L0L! Fei ge suggested that we have dinner at Fish & Co. and I told him I didn’t want to wash the plates. L0L! In the end, we still ate there and slacked for about an hour. I gave fei ge the Crumpler bag because the whole thing was in red and I don’t really like red bags. L0L! Ok, let me wrap it up. After dinner, we took a cab back and I reached home about 11pm plus. I did have a whole load of fun though excluding that incident Apple centre. L0L!

Monday, project day and we did nothing as usual. Fei ge wasn’t feeling well. I went over to his place after school to help him pay for his bike lessons online at SSDC. He told me that they didn’t accept his Mastercard and he didn’t know why either. I left about 8pm and went home. Fei ge is a big bully! =[

Tuesday, project day… I think you all can help me complete the sentence already. L0L! Yes! You are correct! …and we did nothing as usual. L0L! No la, actually we had the panel review and it went pretty alright. There were supposed to be 3 lecturers, but only 1 came. Luckily, we knew that Wong Chong Meng kia. Chew Chong Meng’s cousin. L0L! The other lecturer only came when our group had completed the review. Actually we didn’t do anything for the rest of the day. 7 of us went for lunch at Al Azhar. Yay! Prata!! No more Al Azhar for the next 3 weeks! =[ In the afternoon, everyone was playing DotA in class and everyone got caught by that chao Poorninama, oops, I meant Poornima. L0L! She wrote a comment on all our logbooks, stating that we were playing computer games. She wrote in mine too although I didn’t even have a laptop with me because it was sent for repair. If you all know me, you all should know that I fight for what is right. However, that day I just could not be bothered and I really didn’t care. I didn’t have the mood to argue with her also. Write then write lo, I didn’t even say anything to her because it was really like whatever la. Oh well. I went home after school and I STUDIED!! L0L! It’s a wonderful accomplishment for me ok! I managed to read and understand 1.5 chapters before I fell asleep. L0L! I’m so proud of myself! =]

Yesterday, lessons started at 9pm and I was on time! L0L! Oh, I saw Jeremiah’s wishlist on his laptop. The 4th thing on his list is so mean!! But it’s super hilarious la! L0L! Lessons were over by 11pm and Jeremiah, Weian and I completed our tutorials before leaving. Actually, we were supposed to do our mini-project, but the dateline was extended to the 27th of June. We decided to come back during the 2 week break to do it instead. Apple asked us to go out too, so we left for home around 1.30pm. Jeremiah, Weian and I met up at Bukit Batok again at 3pm before proceeding to Marina Square to meet her. We decided to watch Shrek 3!! The sneak previews were on yesterday and the tickets cost $9.50 each. Luckily, we saw Christina working there and she gave us the Safra membership rate at $8. Yay! L0L! The normal combo for the popcorn and large drink was $8 too. Expensiveness!! She charged us at only $2.80 and gave us a hot dog too! L0L! Yup! So we saved a lot of moneys! The movie was funny lo. That’s about it. L0L!

After the movie, we walked around and went to Levis and Zara. I saw this pair of Relaxed Straight Cut Jeans at Levis. I want to buy lehh! Quite nice also, but I budget and I still owe Apple Centre $500. Oh well, we went to Yoshinoya for dinner and food was expensivess!! L0L! Everything seems to be so expensive these days man. After dinner, we decided to go to the Harry's Bar at Esplanade for drinks. We had a jug of Margarita Lime and I had another glass of Harry's 1992. Happy hour was already over and the prices were really steep. The Jug cost $58 and my cocktail, which tasted like canal water, cost $15. Ok, I really hate that bar! Don't ask me go Harry's Bar ever again!! Rahhhh!! It was 10.30pm when we left the bar and Weian had to go off first before he was meeting his friends. Apple, Jeremiah and I continued to walk around till about 11pm before we left. I reached home just past midnight.

Today! I'm staying at home. L0L! My common paper is next Tuesday and I'm worried. =[ How? L0L! HOW? Emerge starts today until Sunday! I won't be going though because I'm not participating. Best of luck to Dennis too because he will be representing Ngee Ann in the Parade of Schools. Fei ge also serving for all four days, so please take care of your health! =] Ok, photo time!! Below are some photos, so check it out for yourselves! =]

This is what we do on our regular project days. L0L!

Isn't He COOL!?

Maia! Don't eat me leh!!

AWW...

I'm sober! (and my eyes are red!)

WTH? L0L! (and weian looks retarded...)

I can conclude that weian is tardish! L0L!

Ok, I had a good time! L0L! I must take more photos from now on and put in my room, then it will be more roomy! L0L! Oh ya hoh, I still haven take photo with fei ge! =[ Nvm, faster cut your hair leh then can take photo. L0L! Yay! Tomorrow going VivoCity!! OK! I finally updated already!! Woohoo! Everyone still happy? Because I am! =] I'm stopping here for now, so take care everyone and go shopping!! It's the last Great Singapore Sales before the GST rises to 7%! L0L! Alrightyyy, see everyone soon again k? Bring camera next time yall meet up with me!! =]

"The art of life lies in a constant readjustment to our surroundings."
- Okakura Kakuzo

400th Post!!

2007-05-26T21:40:00.000+08:00

EHH!!! My 400th Post!!! Wow!! Isn't that COOL!? Yes! I'm Happy!! =] 400th Post man! A hundred more to 500, but I don't think I'll reach that milestone by the end of this year though. L0L! Anyway, I haven't been blogging often recently because my laptop is down and it feels so weird blogging on my desktop! L0L! I'm not use to it! The feel isn't there like my laptop. =[

At least I'm updating now right?? 400th Post!! L0L! Aye yo so check it out, I've created a quiz for everyone to do to see how well you guys know me! L0L! Trust me, it's tough! It's designed for you to fail. L0L! So RESPECT if you can pass it! And I'll love you if you do! L0L! Click the link below to do it! =]

http://www.truefriendtest.com/friendtest/446139

Eh... I'm ok!! Really!! L0L! I think people will think I'm crazy man. Mainly because my emotions are always all over the place. What can I say? I do wear my emotions on my sleeve. =[ Still love me? L0L! Oh I'm proud of myself! I read 2 chapters of my lecture notes today man! L0L! Yeah, but still I don't understand. No worries! I'll focus more because common test is in a week or 2? Woah, this week has been great hasn't it? A breakthrough in fact! I went to jog on Monday and Tuesday and studied today! L0L!

Oh, if you guys didn't know, I've already sent my Toshiba laptop to the service centre at Kallang last Wednesday. They called me on Thursday and told me that it will take between 5 to 10 days. =[ I hope that it doesn't need to be reformat though. I did backup all my important data, but I just hate installing everything back and changing the settings and all again. It's very time consuming!!

Hey, you know what? May is coming to an end! Oh man!! The last Friday of the month just went pass yesterday! Napfa's in August and I'm nowhere near to passing! L0L! I caught Pirates of The Carribean: At World's End yesterday! Everywhere was crowded! I didn't think it will be so crowded because it opened the day before. We reached Lido around 5.45pm and all the time slots till 9.15pm were sold out! The 9.15pm slot was filling fast too! At Cineleisure, all the tickets were sold out till 10.25pm. L0L! We managed to get tickets for a 7pm show at Plaza Singapura, but the seats were at the corner of Row A man!! It was a good movie, but very complicating storyline. L0L! It last for about 3hours? After that, Jeremiah, Leonard, Weixuan and I went for dinner before heading home. Oh, Fei Ge!!! Thanks for the jersey!! =]

I think I'm getting my MacBook Pro tomorrow!! Yay!! I realised that the offer this month is insanely amazing! The offer only last till 31st of this month! Yeah, so I only have time to get it tomorrow because I'll be in school the rest of the days. This MacBook Pro is probably going to replace my desktop, so I can save space! L0L! The cost is really steep at $3,500, but the deal is too good to miss out on. They are giving away a FREE crumpler bag, FREE iPod Shuffle and a $180 voucher to buy stuff there. However, the voucher cannot be used to buy speakers or headphones leh! Wah lao, damn spoiler can. I thought I can use that $180 buy my JBL Creature II Speakers, which cost about $170 then nice nice. Oh well, the plan now is to use that $180 to upgrade the memory in the laptop or buy an external hard drive or buy a mp3 player. Wah! Then I'll have 3 iPods leh!! L0L! Okok, I'm excited! ^^

EH!! Weixuan got new phone! "There's a thing in my pocket. It's not one thing, but many things." Wah... Rich kia! Betray Sony Ericsson sia like Gavin like that. Tsk Tsk. Nvm, once a Sony kia, always a Sony kia! Not like Alex, forever chao Nokia kia. L0L! No-Kia! Uh oh... Hot Dog...

Know something? I have not replaced my broken guitar string yet! I didn't have time to go buy the strings. =[ I learnt a new song today! Actually, the intro only, but good enough already right? Guess? Ok, I tell you. I'm learning Green Day's - Good Riddance (Time of Your Life)! I think it's easier compared to When You Say Nothing At All. My dad was thinking of getting me a new Yamaha guit! So nice right? But I told him don't need because I still can use my current one. He told me to go for lessons too! But I'm lazy to go to the place to learn. L0L! I rather have someone come over to teach me! Anyone? L0L! How??? I really think I should get lessons too if not I won't progress at all. I haven't even touched chords yet, I'm still reading tabs. HOW??? =[

Hmmm... I just realise that there's a list of things I need to do or buy. Let's see...
- Guitar Strings
- JBL Creature II Speakers
- Put Board Up
- MacBook Pro
- Guitar Lessons?

Uh oh hot dog, I forgot about the rest already. My dad's asking if I want to go abroad before going NS. To be honest, I'm not sure man. If I go overseas, I also will go with friends mah. More fun! Ahahah. However I'm not sure yet. I realise that there are people I would really like to spend more time with before I enter army. How? No worries, I think I still have about a year more! =]

Hey, do you think it's possible to have feelings for 2 people at the same time? Qingxiang says no, but Leonard says yes, so I'm confused. L0L! I think I'm having feelings for 2 different individuals now. HOW?? I can't choose because both of them are special in their own ways. Maybe I should just remain single, then it will solve the problem? Oh man, what did I get myself into this time? L0L! Some help here please!! >.<

Check this out!! I've decided to put up more photos in my room! Must la! So faster take photos with me!! so I can develop them and buy nice photo holders to put them around in my room! =] I realise my room only have baby photos leh. I don't have any recent photos with my close ones in my room. Okok, I have my work cut out for me. Perhaps something to work on for now! But where to put ah? On my board? Nah... On the table? No space leh... On the shelves? Hmm... Idea ah! How about hanging them on the wall man? Wouldn't that be cool? ^^ Yea!! My walls are plain!!

Oh no, both Heroes and Lost season finales are over already. That's a bad thing because I have nothing to watch anymore. No more downloads for the next few months till August when Prison Break returns.

I was lying on my bed just now thinking about stuff. Nothing to do mah! But I wasn't EMO!! L0L! The truth is after being a Christian for over a month already, I haven't really decide on which Church to stay in. I mean I've been to CHC and CFC and I like both church too! In fact, I'm still undecided. How? Fei Ge, How? Do I follow my Heart or my Head? Chey Chey. L0L! I don't think I want to join a cell group yet though. No feel. How??? I welcome all suggestions! L0L! I think past experiences will really affect my decision, but then again... what's in the past, should stay in the past? I don't know, you tell me? Hmm... Maybe I should just follow the flow for now? Because I always suck at planning. L0L!

Woah, long entry ah? See, this is what happens when I don't blog often. L0L! Oh yea, if you didn't manage to figure out the answers for the quiz, ask me la! L0L! That's if you would like to know. I'm still not use to typing using my desktop's keyboard. It seems so stiff. There are some letters that I need to hit twice before it appears. Ok la, don't torture you all already. I'm going to stop here......................... NOT! L0L! Just Kidding! Take care everyone and common test is coming!! Uh oh! Hot dog! =]

"Friendship is certainly the finest balm for the pangs of disappointed love."
- Jane Austen

Mati la.

2007-05-23T23:30:00.000+08:00

Ok. Summary. Saturday, parents came back home! I spent some time with them, then went for a BBQ at Hongyue's place. I owe her $60? Damn. Reached home already 2am? Sunday, went service super tired. Met Leonard in town and walked around before going to airport to send Qingxiang off. Reached home just before 12am? Monday, 8am class super tired. Borrow laptop from Kelvin, but managed to on laptop in the end. F. Screwed. Fail PC Worx. Went to jog at Gombak and realised that jogging takes my mind away from thinking. Tuesday, 8am class Weian drove Jeremiah and I to school. F. Screwed. Fail breadboard hardware thing. Laptop cannot on till 4.15pm and I end at 5pm. Went to jog again. Today, 9am class Weian drove us again. Laptop can on. Never pay attention in class and fell asleep. Damn F**kstrated also. Skip miniproject and we went to Kallang to fix my damn laptop. Left laptop there till either Friday or Monday. Weian drove us home. Reached home tired and no mood for anything. Went to sleep. Suppose to start studying this week, but never even touch books. Screwed. Wake up watch TV until now. American Idol finale sucks. Tomorrow suppose to go Peninsular Plaza but screw it also. Don't want to talk about it and no mood for anything also. Whatever.

Sorry, I've got no mood to type anything, so I'm just making everything short and sucky. No plans for tomorrow and Friday. I wanted to go slack at void deck tomorrow, but friend sick and want to quit. Good for him. Pirates of The Carribean: At World's End is coming out tomorrow also, but I don't know who to go watch with. In fact, no mood to even go watch.

I'm fed up.

I wear my emotions on my sleeve.

So?

Screw you bitch.

Whatever man.

"Anger is never without Reason, but seldom with a good One."
- Benjamin Franklin

HAH.

The Last Day...

2007-05-19T01:00:00.000+08:00

Aye, so check it out. I have not been blogging for 9 days! I can't remember the last time I neglected my blog for so long! Sorry bloggy!! =[

AnyOhow anyway, as you all know, my vacation is going to come to an end in 5 hours. My parents will be touching down in Singapore at about 6am. There goes the end of the amazing streak that I was having for 2 weeks, but like they said... all good things must come to an end. =[ I'm not sure if I'm happy or sad leh. I had a whole load of fun especially this week! To the point where I didn't even have time to blog about it man. So here's a recap!

Sunday, I went for service at CHC with Fei Ge after being MIA for 5 weeks? I was supposed to meet Alex then go to Jurong Point and buy some stuff after service. However I went to lunch with Fei Ge at Changi Airport first. Fun! It's been a long time since we went somewhere and have fun man. But Pain la when kena bullied! =[ At lunch, we talked and I've got a new-old wallet! L0L! He asked if he could come over to my place. So my big bro is of higher priority la, Sorry la Alex for psing! >.< Don't sad la dar. L0L! So Fei Ge came over and slack around. Play xbox, play guitar and he broke my string!! Now cannot play guit and I no money change string also. =[ But still, it was fun having my bro around! He talked to me about certain things too at my place and over dinner. I was really touched la. I knew he cared, but I didn't know he cared that much till that day. Yeah, it's touching and nice la when he talked and advised me. Thanks bro for everything man ! =]

Monday, I went to Marina Square with Alex and Leonard after school. Alex bought this cap from Zara. I saw this black leather jacket at Zara round up to about $500! It's super nice la. I've always wanted a black leather jacket man. It's so freaking cool! I'll upload the pics another time because my desktop has no infra red port and my laptop can't be on. I'll get it some day dude! I did manage to get a long sleeve t-shirt from Samuel & Kevin. Nice leh! It is nice... I like... We had dinner at the food court upstairs. All of us ate this Curry Noodles because I saw they were advising it on the television before. I didn't like it and I think it's overrated! L0L! We went to find Kai Hoong after that at the Citylink's Good Design shop or something like that. He was working there and we slacked around and looked at everything in there. Leonard bought his card holder from there too. Kai Hoong gave us this voucher at this CA cafe at Marina Square, so Alex, Leonard and I went for supper there while waiting for Kai Hoong to close the shop. The voucher was a 1 for 1 cake and each cake is $4.50. So it was $4.50 for 2 cakes and between the 3 of us. Dude, their Ultimate Chocolate Cheese cake rocks and it brings cakes to the next level! That was the best cake I've eaten in years! Seriously, it was awesome la and I felt so high after eating it. No shit. We went back to find Kai Hoong after that before heading home.

Tuesday was the only day that I went back home immediately after school to do the housework. Yes, I are very proud of myself! =]

Wednesday, I went to Bugis with Kelvin. I bought a pair of pants and a long sleeve stripe shirt. $40 for each. >.< Nvm, nice!! I promise to manage my finances properly. =[ We went to meet Tim after that and went to Upper Thomson for prata! After prata, we headed to Liquid Kitchen for drinks! They had a beer bucket and I hate beer. L0L! I took a sip and I just didn't like it. I don't like bitter stuff man. I had a Mango Martini and it was pretty good! At least it was better than the beer! L0L! After that, we left for home and I got home 15 minutes before 12am.

Thursday, I met Khairul at Jurong East after school. Fei Ge called and asked me to go over to his place. So I slacked with Khairul at the void deck till about 8pm? I left for home after that to take a shower and get my stuff before heading over to Fei Ge's place. I reached about 10.15pm and we had dinner before proceeding to his house. Actually, I didn't really do much at his house because half the time he was doing his own stuff and the other half I was doing my own stuff. So I was really bored and sianZ. Oh, his house has this weighing scale and I'm still above 50kg! In fact, I'm 51kg! L0L! Yes, I are very proud of myself. Fei Ge's like 87kg sia!! Cannot blame me for calling you Fei Ge! =X I ended up slacking in the living room till the next morning. =[

Friday, Fei Ge had to go to school, so I went home around 10am plus? I slacked at home and I really didn't know what to do. It's not nothing to do that kind of thing. It's just too sianZ to do anything. I was tired so I skipped lunch and took a nap. I woke up around 4pm plus and slacked again. I went to meet Alex for dinner at Holland Village because I was too sianZ to stay at home. We had Nasi Lemak and I met Nicholas and his girlfriend there. L0L! Alex said they both looked like 25+. L0L! After dinner, we went to Eski Bar for a jug of Bombay Sapphire and it wasn't nice. =[ 47% alcohol? 47% nonsense la! L0L! I think I still prefer cocktails man. We walked around after that and went to Yakun for toast. L0L! We walked around somemore before heading home. I got back around 12.30am?

Now, I'm super tired and super sleepy already. Well, I'm enjoying the last moments before my parents come back home. Oh well, don't get me wrong. I love my parents! But I love Freedom too! L0L! Anyway, I'm broke now. I have like $4 in my wallet? Ok la, I cannot take it already. I'm going to bed guys! I promise to update again soon k? Take care yea everyone and have a good weekend! =]

"I’m not going to die because I failed as someone else. I’m going to succeed as myself."
- Margaret Cho

Housework.

2007-05-10T23:38:00.000+08:00

Hey! How's everyone ? So it's about time to update about how I'm doing and not so much on my EMOtions. So as you all should know by now, my parents aren't in town since the 5th. They will only be back on the 19th in the early morning. I was actually supposed to have lots of fun and party and all. However, it isn't as fun as I wish it was.

So Monday, my sister came back home and started complaining and bitching about the alarm clock not sounding in the morning because she didn't know how to use it. Stupid. Complain complain complain. She went to sms my dad to kp. I cannot stand her and I don't know which side of her brain not functioning. Can't you use your mobile phone's alarm? WTF ?

Tuesday luckily I reached home only at 11pm because I was out with Khairul. We went to dinner then slacked at some void deck. We slacked for more than 2 hours at the void deck man. POWER! Reached home no energy do anything, so bathe then went to sleep.

Yesterday, Jeremiah, Kelvin and Tim came over to play mahjong. Damn Funny! I won 45 cents!! AHAHAH! They stayed till about 9.30pm before leaving. My sister wanted to do the laundry but she didn't know how to operate the machine. Kaoz. Mummy teach you don't wanna listen. I show you one time also don't know you listening or doing what sai. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out how to use the washing machine. I don't know what's the rush also. She keep chasing me to on it when my friends still around. She said I just need to on then she will do the rest. LJ ! Hang clothes also I do. I'm not complaining about doing all these. In fact, I don't mind doing it, but can you at least tell me the day before or in the morning? Fucking tell me help her on NOW! NOW! NOW!

Yeah, obviously I wasn't happy so I told her off after my friends left. I said can't you wait for tomorrow do it? She said she didn't have enough clothes. FUCK. Your wardrobe ants go in jitao lost in the jungle. Telling me not enough clothes. So I said she got like tons of clothings lo and I don't even have a proper dinner ask me do all this. You know what she said? "I don't even have a proper rest leh!". You fucking retarded or what sai. You come home never even keep your shoes go eat already put your damn face mask. WTF ? No rest ? Your time management sucks to the max! You only go to work 9am to 6.30pm. Laundry I do. Fish I feed. Plant I water. Clothes I hang. Water I boil. Floor I clean. You leh? Open the letterbox. Thanks. Only reason you do that is because you want to see if you receive any letters. So SMLJ? Not enough rest? That's your fucking problem already. I do at least 3/4 of the housework and you do 1/4 you complain like no tomorrow. Next time your own family how? I think I can be a better househusband than you being a housewife.

Ok, sorry blog for all the complains. =[ But really ah buay tahan la. See that's why I say for the 1 millionth time if only I have an elder brother then power already. Lazy nvm but at least I know he won't bitch and complain and whine like a *****. Too vulgar already. I think an elder bro won't mind doing everything also lo. SianZ la elder sister... If I have like 5 elder bros then POWER - with authority! Ok la bully me nvm but I think I jitao don't need to do anything when my parents are away. See la... Suay I tell you elder sister. TSK.. Aiya, useless to think about it also because it's never going to happen.

I feel that if I live alone it would be better. At least I can do the housework at my own time and not have people bitch. Fricking irritating. Furthermore, I don't need a big house also. Maybe just a 3 room flat would be good enough already. Sometimes, I seriously consider moving out and living alone. Life would probably be better too. I know what I'm capable of and I know that I'm capable of being independent unlike my sister.

See... I'm suppose to be having fun and all when my parents are away. Well at least I did have friends over and went out, but still not power enough. I think if have an elder bro, then everyday can party liao and go out till late. Today I went home after school immediately to do all the housework again. *Sighz* Well, I'm left with next week still, so hopefully things will be better. Argh!! Save me la someone! I cannot tahan my sister! Why I so suay? *Sighz*Don't know and don't care attitude is the solution to everything. Oh I don't know if I said this before, but nvm I say again. There are always people that ask such questions like "If your wife and your mum were drowning and you could only save one of them, who will you save?". LJ! Please do not ask anyone this sort of dumbass question. What do you get by asking such a question? It's freaking stupid. It's like telling someone "If you have to chop off either your c**k or balls, which one will you lose?". Ok. Bad example. But still, you get me? Why in the purple hell will anyone ask such question? If my wife ask me this question, I think I'll file a divorce instantly. I don't see the purpose. So if you are one of those people that ask this kind of questions, please give it up. The reason being it's a waste of your time because it is absolutely pointless.

Ok la, I apologise for bitching at you my dear blog so much today. See that's why I don't tell anyone my issues. Tell also no use. You want to come help me do housework? You want to come give my sister counselling? Or in fact give me? Because I think I'm going crazy? K la. EVS! I'm cutting down on drinking because I have been drinking for the wrong reasons. If I'm drinking for fun then it is alright, but unfortunately, most of the time it isn't for fun. Also, I want to clear things up. I'm not addicted to smoking, so please mind your words can?

Oh! Happy Birthday Dennis! We celebrate tomorrow la hor since today you not free. =) Oh, now you can call me by these... Shawn, BOO or Hans! AHAHA! Stylo right? ^^ Anything else is really not appreciated. L0L! KK, stop here already if not my blog will only suffer more severe damage. L0L! Take care all and have a good weekend! =]

"It is our choices...that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities."
- J.K. Rowling

Better !

2007-05-08T23:25:00.000+08:00

Ok, i'm much better already. I still have unsettled issues to deal with, but I'm just taking it a step at a time. More importantly, it's a month since I got saved! Isn't that COOL !?

Anyway, I guess I didn't really started out the way I want to this month. Sometimes, things just happen in your life that you feel you have no control of or can't do anything about. Yeah, but I suppose we just have to move on no matter what. I sort of figured out that I can only depend on myself and look out for me. The cold hard fact is that eventually your friends won't be there for you as much as you would like. Think about it... just 5 years down the road, will your current friends still be there for you ? I can't say yes or no because I won't know till then. Actually, thinking about it, it doesn't really matter. The main thing is...

"Come Good, Go Good."

in the words of Siang Yee. L0L! It simply means that if a good friendship should end, then end it in a good way and walk away from it. Yup! It's true la. If you see no point in maintaining a friendship with that person, then walk away from it in a good way.

OK... like I was saying... Ok, I forgot what I wanted to say already. BUT HEY!!! Friendship is important la! But being sincere is much more important! If sincerity = 0, then friendship = 0. Makes sense ?

Oh I remember already. Sometimes I really get sick of people who make empty promises and don't lift up to their words. I rather they tell me on the spot that they can't meet me than agree on a date and not fulfill the promise 3 out of 4 times. Then what's the purpose of agreeing in the first place? If I agree on a date, I will make myself free on that day no matter how busy I am. Of course I expect others to do the same since we agreed on that date. I spent 2 days thinking about so many things and this was something that pop in my head while I was thinking about everything. How can you say that you care about me when you can't even lift up to the promise you made to me ? Think about it... Isn't it contradicting? You say you care about someone and you put aside a day every month to meet up or something, but 3 out of 4 times you cancelled it because you are busy? I don't think I am demanding or asking for alot especially when it's only once a month. I don't think I'm being unreasonable either because if you already agreed on a certain day each month, then shouldn't you make damn sure you make yourself available on that day?

So now I know... I'm not going to set aside a day each month to meet whoever because I know they won't make themselves available anyway. I don't intend to ask them out ever again or anything unless they do the asking. By the way, these people are the kind that I try my best to meet whenever THEY ask me. However, whenever I ask them to meet, they are busy or whatever. So how does that feel? Think about it. Honestly, I rather be angry at someone than be disappointed. If I'm angry, yeah perharps I may ignore you for awhile, but eventually I'll still talk to you. Being disappointed is just losing trust in that person and in fact it hurts more too la.

Yeah, so after mentioning all of these... I came to a conclusion that I'm actually on my own. In fact, everyone is. You really can't depend on others. It's truly every man for himself. I seriously hope I'm wrong about it, but apparently people just keep proving that I'm right. I'm not directing what I've said to anyone. I would just like to tell everyone not to set aside a date each month to meet and not commit to it. The feeling is really ah ... *sighz*... True friends... when I think about that it's kind of sad because I don't know who my true friends are. It's confusing la seriously. I guess I care too much about others at times and so I thought that they will do the same towards be, but that almost never happens.

No, I'm not EMO now. I'm just writing down the thoughts I had for the past few days. I decided that I should just carry on with my life. I mean friends will come and go in your life la. That's just the way it is. If they are sincere in maintaining the friendship, then they would. If they aren't, then they won't bother. Yup, that's the cold hard fact for you whether you choose to believe it or not. I still do care alot for them because that's just who I am, but I can only hope that they do too just as much. Anyway, I'm going to stop here for now because I'm going to sleep. K guys, please do take care of yourselves and cya all soon yea? =]

"Success isn't permanent, and failure isn't fatal."
- Mike Ditka

A Break.

2007-05-05T00:39:00.000+08:00

Dear all,

I have decided to take some time off from everything for a couple of days, maybe weeks. Don't worry about me, I'll be alright eventually. Don't bother calling or messaging my phone because I'm turning it off after I send my parents off, which is in 12 hours. My house phone's still intact if it is an emergency. I won't be going online on msn either, but if you really need to get to me, then you can leave me a message here because I'll see it. I just need to take a break from everything that's happening and think. Think about me and my life. I'm lost and confused. I don't know what I'm doing. To the point where I can't tell the difference between right and wrong. I don't know what's my next step. I've made mistakes. Did things that I'm not proud of. Now, everyday I wake up just to live for that day with no meaning. Pointless. There's nothing I look forward to anymore. Or perharps there's really nothing to look forward to anymore. I need this time to sort my life out and everything that's important to me. Because I don't even know what is important anymore. My mind's messing with me. I'm mentally exhausted and it doesn't seem to get better each day. I'm on my own from now on. Always have. Always will be...

- Shawn

Monthly Report !

2007-04-30T23:06:00.000+08:00

And can you believe it ? There goes April... Well, this month has been different ? I realise that I spent $250 on gifts alone! L0L! However, I'm more than happy that I did because these all important and special people in my life ! Fei Ge told me that he doesn't want me to waste money because it is unhealthy! ahaha, but I'm more than willing to for my big bro! =] So apart from gifts, I think transport amount to about $80 ? The stuff I bought from Ikea amount to $40. My monthly savings plan at $50. Drinks about $45 ? Everything else should amount to about $200? Therefore in conclusion... I spent a grand total of... $665 !!! WAH JIALAT ! How ? I have to cut down on my expenditure man. Perharps I need a financial assistant or something. L0L!

Apart from money, I've been filled with emotions and thoughts this month! Yeah, there's been both good and bad times. I've been happy/sad/disappointed/worried/excited/nervous/anxious and of course EMO. L0L! Well, I promise to be less EMO next month !! ahaha! EMO-ness isn't something easy to get rid off leh!! L0L! I guess I tend to think too much about stuff? But that's just me I suppose. I'm a thinker! I make decisions with my Heart rather than my Head, so yes I'm an emotional person no doubt. I care alot about how others feel and sometimes it affects me too much because whenever you seem to care that much, but the other party doesn't give a sh!t... it hurts and it really sucks alot. I guess that's why people take advantage of me and make use of me.

The most significant thing that happened this month is that I got saved on Easter, which was the 8th. This means that in a week and a day, I'll be an official Christian for a month! Isn't that COOL !? ahaha! Yay!! Must celebrate!! Furthermore, my parents won't be in town next week! Isn't that COOL x 2 !? Woohoo!! L0L! It's going to be a special day for me and I'm excited!! 1 month leh!! =]

Also, I've learnt a couple of valueable lessons in life this month! I've grown up la in a way. Grown more mature and understanding towards other's feelings. I've learnt not to be childish, selfish and self-centered. The world doesn't revolve only around me! Furthermore, knowing that I'm a sensitive person then I should be more sensitive towards other's feelings too!

I have to admit that I've wasted alot of time this month by not doing anything especially in school. I'm not doing much on project days and the rest of the days I'm not really learning anything either. I hate wasting time not doing anything because it is similar to wasting my life away.

I forgot what else I want to say. Damn. Anyway I still need to clear some bank stuff. The letter was sent like a month ago already? However, I have yet to go do something about it. I want to buy my black JBL Creature II Speakers leh, but it cost $169. *Sighz* That means I have to spend money again. Spending money is unhealthy!! L0L! Oh well, I'm going to stop here for now because I cannot recall what else I would like to say already. Do stay tuned because I'll update again soon yeah? Take care all ! =]

"When a deep injury is done to us, we never recover until we forgive."
- Alan Paton

HER.

2007-04-26T17:44:00.000+08:00

Woah today was really weird. Usually when I take bus to school or back home, there will be someone accompanying me. However, today my lessons started at a later time than Jeremiah and Weian, so I went to school alone. I started pondering on the bus about relationships and I felt feelings for her...

Although we haven't talked for a long time and perharps we aren't that close, somehow I just couldn't stop thinking of her when I was on the bus. I mean we have been friends for close to 5 years? She's always nice to me all these times and I have actually thought about US being together before. However, I guess I wasn't prepared before, but I realise on the bus today that I am! After 19 years on Earth, I'm ready to make sure a commitment! =)

I've always been nice to her too all these while, but we never really talked that often or met up at all after secondary school was over. I decided to drop her a message and I was glad that she replied! I'm asking her out next week and hopefully I'll get to be with her! =]

I know it's kind of strange when you don't really talk that often with someone, but still the feelings I felt on the bus was real. I guess I didn't really ask her out all these years because I was waiting... Waiting for perharps someone else who I know I can never be with no matter how hard I try? Also, waiting for the right time and I know the time is right now after all these time. Yeah, isn't it strange? Shawn's finally growing up! L0L!

To HER: I know we don't talk often or even go out at all, but I hope that you give me this chance to prove myself to you. You may be thinking that I'm making a decision too fast, but I swear that my feelings for you are genuine and real. I was extremely glad to hear that you are single and if you do read this and figure it out... I really hope that you agree to be with me because I want to be with you! =]

10 more days...

2007-04-25T22:22:00.000+08:00

Hey guys! Check out these photos first and watch the video too! Most of these were taken during the holidays, but somehow I forgot to upload them. L0L! I was looking through the photos and videos in my phone and I realise I still haven't upload all these yet, so do take a look! L0L!

A Meal at Heads Or Tails @ MarketStreet Carpark.

Yeah, I went there with Alex and Weixuan and the food was nice! Start from the bottom left in a clockwise direction. We have Rice, Kaya Toast, Peanut Butter Toast, Iced Thai Milk Tea, Iced Thai Lemon Tea, Iced Thai Milk Tea, Chili Chicken Floss Toast, Rice and Red Curry. Are you drooling ? L0L! Seriously, not bad la should go try. MarketStreet Carpark is near Lau Pat Sat, which is close to Raffles Place Mrt Station! =]

A closer look at the Peanut Butter Toast and Kaya Toast. Obviously the top one is Peanut Butter. I know looks quite gross, but... It is nice! I like! ^^

Alex's day at the salon! L0L!

A picture's worth a thousand words! SHUAI!! =)

Oh... I just saw this on the friendster daily horoscope thing: One of your friends is becoming a walking contradiction. Give this pal space.
I think I know who already! L0L!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xTBS-e6v2ao

This is the video of Jeremiah talking about the naked German girls in Phuket and the reason why he and his dad didn't take photos. L0L!

Anyway, enough of photos and videos already! Now it's words! L0L! Oh, I met Fei Ge yesterday at Jurong Point. Tsk. 20 already!! Uncle Joachim! =) Kidding! I met him for dinner around 8pm at Fish & Co. and that's the first time I've met my bro for 3 weeks! The seafood platter wasn't as nice as the one at Wheelock place in my opinion. Weian told me the standard at Jurong Point and IMM were the worst. L0L! That explains it. Anyway, we couldn't finish, but Fei Ge managed to summon his strength and finish it. L0L! He said "I did it FOR you! You making me Fat!". L0L! Someone still wearing the Popeye The Sailor Man T-shirt seh. Contradiction! ahaha! I hope you like the gift! =]

So check it, 10 more days before it is May the 5th where my parents are flying to Europe on a holiday for 2 weeks. Man, I have to start planning each day out carefully if not I'll end up really bored at home. Basically, those 2 weeks can be really FUN or really boring. I hope it isn't the latter though. I make an alliance with my sister already where each one of us can do ANYTHING we want! L0L! Isn't that awesome ? I get to stay out real late or even not go home at all! I get to invite friends over and even stay over play mahjong and stuff! Yeah, I'm excited! So you are all cordially invited to my place from between 5th May midnight to 18th May! Strictly NO food and beverages in my room. No shit this time because I have to do the housework while they are away. Here's a list...

- feed the fish
- water the plant
- do the laundry
- do the ironing
- clean the floor
- tidy the place
- etc.

Basically, do all the necessary housework. In other words, I'm an unofficial house-husband. L0L! Hopefully, I can have loads of FUN during that 2 weeks. Yeah, and seriously just give me a call and come over if you like. Oh or better still, invite me over to your place! L0L! Yeah, I really want to make full use of the 2 weeks where there isn't a government at home and no restrictions. FREEDOM! No Holds Barred! 10 days!! The Pursuit of Freedom! L0L! ahaha! Ok, I'm stopping here for today. Take care yeah? I hope to see you guys during that 2 weeks k? Please come over and accompany me!! =)

"Live your life as though there is great joy to be experienced... an abundance of goodness in each person you come in contact with, and the knowledge that you have enough inner wisdom to answer the mysteries that challenge you."
- Meladee McCarty

I'm Better!

2007-04-23T20:00:00.000+08:00

I'm feeling better and actually I'm alright already! =] Thanks Hongyue for your concern! I read your entry and I'm touched! Don't worry! I know I'm not alone anymore and there's always someone I can turn to. Believe me, I know you will always be there for me although it may not be physically, but hey as long as I know you're there for me, then that's more than enough! =] Thanks Joa Bro for talking things out with me and clearing things up! I apologise for what I did. Thanks for the guidance bro. =]

I wanted to blog about something I heard during service yesterday. Basically, that service was really heartwarming because I was able to connect with what the speaker said. He asked this question... "How many people can you call at 2am knowing that they will be there for you and not think that you are bothering them?" The first name that came into my head was instance without a shadow of a doubt and I don't second guessed that person. Slowly, a few names came into mind, but I still had to put some thought about whether they are willing to be there for me. Yeah, so I would like you guys to think about the same question too!

How many people can you call at 2am knowing that they will be there for you and not think that you are bothering them?

It would be great if you have many, but then again how many of them are actually willing to listen and advise you? For me, I don't need that many people there for me ALWAYS. As long as I know that there are at least 3 people I can call and relate my issues with, it is more than enough already! I can safely say that there are at least 3 people I can actually call! right? Right!? L0L!

Anyway, the service was I tell you ahhh... POWER ! I felt His presence right in front of me. Yeah, it was a really amazing service. Praise and worship was Great! Sermon was incredible! Oh oh, there was this part where the speaker said "The lone ranger is always the first to die". Somewhere along that line, which is true la actually. He said that to grow as a Christian, one cannot do it alone. In other words, cannot solo kia la. He advised everyone to join a cell group or bible study class. I thought about it and I have to admit that he's right la. I cannot be leading a Christian life on my own because it isn't possible. Furthermore, my whole family nobody Christian leh! GG! Yeah, when I came back to church, I keep thinking that I'll be able to lead my own Christian life on my own. I thought that all I had to do was trust in Him and everything would be alright, which is true! However, in order to grow as a Christian, I won't be able to do it alone. Therefore, I guess some changes will have to be make right?

Ok, what I'm about to say next, I've probably talked about for a couple of times already. I'm still going to say it again because I think there are still people who haven't really realise it? Yes, I'm a Christian now. Yes, I'm attending service at City Harvest. I know there are friends and people I know that do not like certain stuff done in City Harvest. Hey, you guys are by all means entitled to your own opinion, but that doesn't mean everything you guys say is accurate. Still, do not judge me by my religion or even the church I go to. Judge me for WHO I AM! And I assure everyone that I'm still the same old Shawn just that I've grown spiritually. Other than that, I'm still ME! I really do not want to lose friends just because of religion or the church I attend. That's what I hope everyone can understand and perharps spread the word to those friends of mine who do not read my blog too! =]

I learnt something from Fei Ge yesterday too! "Running away and being MIA(Missing In Action) isn't going to solve my problems". If I don't speak up and speak my mind, my problems will never be solved. As you all should know by now, I always keep things to myself when I'm angry/sad/disappointed etc. What good does it do when you do not tell the other party your thoughts towards the things they say or do if you're mad at them? How is the other party ever going to find out? The only thing that will happen is that both parties will drift apart. That only makes the situation worse and it won't get any better. In other words, I was being childish and selfish la. Yes, a lifelong lesson by my bro that I'll always remember. Now, I can understand why people say that when someone lectures or scold you, it is for your own good. The reason is because they care about you. If they do not care or bother, they could just easily walked away or not do anything about it. Therefore, I'm blessed to have a wonderful bro that cares! =]

The way I see things is that an arguement can end up in 2 different scenarios. First of all, the friendship or relationship between both parties is lost and they never talk to each other ever again. The second scenario is that the friendship or relationship between both parties strengthens because they relate to each other what the issue is that they didn't like about the other party. Clearly, the outcome that anyone wants is the second scenario la. I don't know about you, but I realise that whenever I have an arguement or disagreement with someone and we manage to clear things up, our friendship will always grow and we will become closer! I'm speaking from experience here because I've been in these sort of situations for at least twice? And yes, I'm still very close with these friends of mine! =] I think I can write a book man! Agree? It should be titled "Relationships For Dummies!" L0L!

Tomorrow's Fei Ge's 20th Birthday! So Happy Birthday in advance! Tsk. 20 years old already man, can call you Uncle liao! L0L! Better start acting like a 20 year old too! L0L! Anyway, have a wonderful and blessed 20th Birthday! =]

Let's see, anything else that I missed out? I doubt so. Oh, I promise to be less EMO-ish k Hongyue? Yea! That's my promise to you, so don't worry about me! I'll be alright! That's all for me today la hor? K la k la. Take care, god bless and see everyone again soon k? =]

"When you hire people that are smarter than you are, you prove you are smarter than they are."
- R.H. Grant

there ?

2007-04-22T22:47:00.000+08:00

I'm kind of lost right now ? Yesterday was my Sister's birthday and a day when I should be really happy. My parents decided on going to Italy/Switzerland on the 5th of May for 2 weeks. I'm happy because firstly, my parents can finally take some time off and go for a wonderful break without worrying about anything else. Secondly, 2 weeks of PARTY man!! L0L! There's no government in the house and I can do anything I want to! L0L! Unfortunately, that happiness only last for a short time.

I was really upset, frustrated, lost, hurt and much more emotions all at the same time around 1am, 2am plus. I don't know. Do I make things difficult for people? Do I make their lives messed up? If that is the case, why don't they tell me sooner? I'm done. Seriously. I don't know what you want me to say or do, but I guess I won't bother you again. You told me if I had an issue with it that I could tell you, but now when I tell you, you're saying that I'm making things difficult...

I'm not going to continue. Sorry for making things difficult all these time.

Nothing...

2007-04-19T23:55:00.000+08:00

The first week of school is over since Friday is an off day for me. So check out what I've learnt these past 4 days in school! Monday... Nothing... Tuesday... Nothing... Wednesday... Nothing... Today... Nothing... In conclusion... there is nothing... Nothing... NOTHING... I learnt for the week! Isn't that freaking cool !? ahaha!

Seriously, this week in school was a complete waste of time. So go school for what FUCK!? L0L! I didn't listen in class because I was erm... I just didn't pay attention la. Freaking boring, but sianZ la got 1 LJ tutorial. Yesterday and Today I ended before 12pm when it was suppose to end at 4pm, so basically it was still slack-able to the core! ^^

Yesterday I met Siang Yee after lesson for lunch, then we went to Jurong Point. I needed to buy gifts! Siang Yee bought a wallet, but not nice. L0L! It's the kind where you clip your notes there because there's no notes section in the wallet. Understand? L0L! Hard to explain!! I'll show you or take a photo the next time I get the chance. We walked around the place and I realise that Jurong Point isn't big anymore! L0L! I don't know why, but last time I felt that it was quite a big place. Now I realise that it isn't really that big afterall. We left at around 3pm or 4pm plus.

Today lessons were over by 11.30am. I didn't want to go home so early because I didn't feel like. I slacked around in school till around 2.40pm before heading to West Mall to walk around till 4pm plus. I was suppose to meet Khairul to go play pool, but his lessons were taking too long. I was super bored already and didn't have anything left to do, so I headed back home. I watched "The Pursuit of Happyness". It's really touching and meaningful la, can cry one. Those that have yet to watch it should go catch it man or get from me!! L0L!

Nicholas just asked me to join his team for WCG, but I don't think I'm joining. I don't like joining all these competitions because I just like playing for fun and not take it to the next level. Nicholas said just join for fun, but in that case why not just play normally when you're at home? Yeah, it's good to challenge th pros and all, but internet also have pros. Anyway, I'm going to game now, so I'll update again soon yeah! Take care everyone and have a good weekend! =]

"Don't waste yourself in rejection, nor bark against the bad, but chant the beauty of the good."
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Year 3 1st Day!

2007-04-16T21:42:00.000+08:00

Hey guys! I didn't manage to blog yesterday because I got home pretty late and I was feeling really down after some stuff my mum said to me. Yeah, so I'm updating my blog now! Yeah, my blog's having a new look and I didn't really have a choice because the previous skin got removed by the user. I really liked that rockstar template and it's my favourite of all since I started blogging. Oh well, I chose this skin because it looks really cool. I know I know that it's EMO and all, but I'm not comtemplating suicide or anything k? So no worries!! ahaha! I added some new stuff in my blog like my imeem playlist, so check out the kind of rock songs that I really love. I also included this imood thing which tells you my current mood! L0L! I used it 2 years back, so I brought it back again! Yeah, basically to share my mood with everyone? ^^

Anyway, I went for service with Malbindar at Bukit Panjang at 12pm and it ended around 1.45pm. The message in the sermon really meant a lot to mean and I was really touched by it. I had a great time the past 2 weeks with Malbindar in service! Next week, I'll be heading back to City Harvest Chuch! YAY!! I'm excited! =] It will probably be my first service as a Christian in CHC and also the first service when Pastor Kong is back since I didn't go for the last 2 weeks.

Ok, so after service, I went to meet up with Alex, Leonard and Weixuan at Buona Vista. We shared a cab down to NUH to visit Qing Xiang and his mum. Terence came slightly later as well. We bought her a card too! Qing Xiang seems to be coping alright and his mum is really nice! We spent about 2 hours talking with Qing Xiang? Yeah, then Alex and Weixuan left for home after that. I joined Leonard and Terence to go Marina Square to do window shopping and slack! I wanted to buy long sleeve t-shirts and a stripe shirt, but I didn't see any nice ones or budget-table ones. L0L! We went to eat at Thai Express before heading home. I wanted to take a cab back, but the queue wasn't moving, so I ended up taking the MRT home. Boo! =( I wish I knew my neighbours who have cars. L0L! Then won't it be really cool ? Like if you sianZ then can jio them out then they can drive me around! ahahah! Unfortunately, I don't talk to my neighbours.

I reached home around 11.30pm? I went to take a shower, then my mum sat down and talked to me. I thought things were going well because we were bonding at midnight? I was wrong because I think she had her intentions and I was really hurt by the stuff she said to me. I didn't feel so much hurt before actually. Yeah, I'm not going to share it here, but ask me if you would like. Too lazy to elaborate la. Yeah, so I didn't really had time to blog as I was crying for about half an hour? I was really really down la and I'm trying not to think about it, so I won't feel so hurt. Basically it was about CHC and religion and all those stuff. I had class the next day at 8.30am, but I really didn't want to go to bed. I stayed up till 2am and I prayed too and I felt much better. I don't blame my mum and I'm not even angry with her, but I was just disappointed and hurt. =[

Anyway, talk about school today la hor? Basically, it was a waste of time. Seriously, I might as well quit school if life in school is going to be like that everyday. We did absolutely NOTHING! Really!! NOTHING!! No Shit!! Ok la, we take 2 cds and install the software then we sit there. I look at you, you look at me. L0L! At least, I know most of the people in the room, so it was alright. I tried accessing my blog in school and I realised that my blog had some problems. That was why I had to change the skin. I played DotA for most of the time and watched the first 40 minutes of "Pursuit of Happyness". Oh! I saw a lot of familiar faces today! Got Jeremiah, Weian, Nicholas, Daryl, Jasper because they all in my project room mah. L0L! I saw Syam, Kelvin, Clement, Ken, Aiman, Ze Wei, Farhanah. Then across from my project room, there's another classroom. I knew this girl on from orientation, but I forgot her name after that day, so everytime I see her I can only smile and wave. L0L! Then, there was this girl from my French class who walked past the project room and saw me and smiled. I returned the smile, but my mind was processing who she was and after she walked past then I remembered! L0L!

Oh, the good news is you can chat with me on msn on Mondays and Tuesdays because I have basically nothing to do. Therefore I'm super free! But there's this really Bitchy supervisor in the project room. Luckily, she isn't in charge of my group, but apparently she still bitches at everyone. So... EVS man! You think I give a shit? L0L! She started talking about the rules and regulations and what we are not suppose to do and BLAH BLAH BLAH... By 5pm when it was time to go home, we broke every single rule already. L0L! Anyway, I'm having a stiff shoulder now and I don't know why. It's super annoying and I hope it will be gone when I wake up tomorrow morning. Massage for me anyone? L0L! Oh ya! I really need more long sleeve clothes and I need a sweater too because the room is freaking cold! I also intend to get myself a bible and a cross as soon as I can, but my budget is really tight this month as well as next. So I won't probably be getting it so soon. Anyone wanna sponsor me for my clothes, bible and cross? Ahaha! Just kidding! Anyway, I'll probably bring my book to school tomorrow to read since I've nothing else to do. Oh well, I'm stopping here for now, so take care all and have a great week ahead! =]

"Nothing is too small to know, and nothing is too big to attempt."
- William Van Horne

Update!

2007-04-14T23:01:00.000+08:00

Hey!!! Back!! Ahahah, this might be my last entry before school reopens on Monday! After that, my updates might not be so often if I'm busy? But I think I can blog in school on Mondays and Tuesdays because project days like very slack. L0L! Oh Oh, my project title is some "Home Application Using PLC". Yeah, don't know what sai also. I don't even know what PLC is man ???

Anyway, I rewind to Thursday first la hor. Thursday, Dennis, Jeremiah, Weixuan and I went to school to buy books and Jeremiah and I need to fix our laptops and install all those school stuff. So, I install the stuff on my laptop but Jeremiah couldn't do anything because his laptop had to be brought to the acer centre to get it fixed. Anyway, we wanted to go get our books, but the shop lady said that year 3 books won't come in till school reopen. YAY! Got excuse to not bring books! Woohoo! Oh, Jeremiah managed to get his PSP modified at the shop besides Co-op. Not bad ah, underground business seh! L0L! KK, don't baodou him ah because the uncle very good and friendly. He looks like the Adrian Pang right? It's Pang right?

We went Queensway after that to eat Katong Laksa! I like, but expensive, so I don't like. L0L! Stop contradicting yourself Shawn! Dennis bought a necklance and Jeremiah pierced his ear! I saw this Lost Prophets long sleeve t-shirt looks zhun! Nice! I like, but I got no money, so not zhun. We took a bus back to West Mall for dinner at Bali Thai and left for home after that.

On Friday, which was yesterday also la. I met Alex at West Mall because he said he wants to buy bag and cut hair. We went to Zinc to take a look at the bags, but all not nice la really. They were looking for sales assistants, so I went to ask if they had part-time, but they only wanted FULL time. Yeah, I know you all might be asking why the hell I'm looking for a job when school reopening in 2 days !? Ehh... actually I also don't know la, but my timetable this semester Friday no need to go school, so I was thinking of working on Friday, Saturday and Sunday, perharps even Thursday evenings. Yeah, I want to earn some cash to get some stuff for myself.

Ok, back to topic. After leaving Zinc, we walked around for awhile. I looking for gifts for my Sister, Mum and... YOU THINK I GOING TO TELL YOU AH !? L0L! Yeah, I only dare say my Sister and Mum because I know they don't read my blog and hopefully I'm right. I bought something, but I still looking for better gifts. We went to KFC to eat before going to Jantzen Hair Salon because Alex want to cut hair. Cut short like mine la! That fringe needs to go man! L0L! We met Jeremiah after that and went to check the movie timeslots, but Jeremiah said he had not enough cash. We accompanied him to eat and they left after that.

I decided to slack around before going home. I went to San Bookshop and managed to get this book entitled "Veronika Decides To Die" by Paulo Coelho. I highly recommend Paulo Coelho books because they are really inspiring and touching, so do go check it out yeah! Eh, I know the book title a little EMO and all, but don't worry! I'm fine! Really!! L0L! Seriously, I picked the book because I read the summary and it was really touching. Basically, it's about Veronika who decides to commit suicide because her life was the same rountine every single day. She took sleeping pills to get an overdose and when she woke up, she was in a hospital. However, her heart was damaged and weakened by the overdose and she only had 5 days or less to live. Basically, she just did some reflection in her life during those remaining days of hers. I managed to read 50 pages yesterday alone! Isn't that COOL !? I mean this is the first book I've actually opened and read since I came into Poly ? Seriously, go read it man. You can borrow from me if you guys are interested, but wait till I finish ah, I'm only done with a quarter of the book.

After getting the book, I decided to head home because I wanted to start reading. When I reached the first level, I popped by Lee Hwa Jewellery to see if I could get anything for my Mum. However, nothing really struck me with great desire. L0L! So I went over to Citi Gems instead and the salesman was good la. His name is Phillip, you can go look for him if you need to buy a gift for your mums! I was looking outside, so when he approached me, I just told him I'm looking for a gift for my mum's 50th birthday! Yeah, it's on the 1st of May by the way. So he brought me to see the pendant section and showed me this pearl pendant. In my heart, it was like "That's the one man". I looked at the rest, but they were not as significant as the first one he showed me. I asked if there's a nice necklance to go along with it too and he showed me the currently most popular kind of necklance. When I went in and take a look, I didn't intend on buying because I still had 2 weeks, but school was going to reopen and there wasn't any new stocks coming in within those 2 weeks either. So I decided to get the pendant and the necklance because my gut was telling me to do so. One thing I really like about this Phillip guy is that he's real honest la. I asked him "Would it be better to get a necklance, bracelet or EVEN both?". He explained to me why a necklance would be a better choice and didn't convince me to get both because that's what sales people will actually do to make more commission. Yeah, so I followed my heart and I managed to get a good rate at $268. I will be splitting the cost with my sister and I really hope my mums like it la. =]

Oh, today I felt a little offended by something and yeah you can say I'm sensitive because I am and I won't deny it either. I went to meet Malbindar and Kumar for lunch at Bukit Panjang. We ate at this Indian restaurant called Karus and the food there was good and not very expensive too! We went to town after that because we wanted to catch Smokin' Aces but shows were only at 7pm plus and Kumar didn't want to stay so late. We ended up just slacking around at Starbucks for awhile before going to Far East Plaza. I managed to get a customized cap there for $15. Kumar left after that while Malbindar and I stayed for dinner and walked around. We went to Zara and I saw these pretty nice plain long sleeve t-shirts, but I'm hoping I can get them at somewhere else for a cheaper price. I still want to buy a few long sleeve t-shirts as well as a long sleeve stripe shirt.

Anyway, Gavin told me yesterday that Qingxiang is flying back to Singapore today because his mum is very sick. I just hope that she is alright and Qingxiang is coping well. I'll be keeping you and your family in my prayers k? We plan to visit him and his family tomorrow if he's alright with it. So, I really hope everything's ok. I'm going to stop here for today and I'll try my best to blog again tomorrow before school officially kicks off on Monday. So take good care everyone and cya soon~! =]

"You can either hold yourself up to the unrealistic standards of others, or ignore them and concentrate on being happy with yourself as you are."
- J. Jacques

Thoughts & Such.

2007-04-11T21:37:00.000+08:00

Hey everyone! I'm back for an update! So check it out, I got saved on 08/04/2007 after 19 years on this earth! Are you happy for me? =) I finally cut my hair today! It's super short, so don't laugh at me if you meet me within this couple of days! Oh well, just to let everyone know, school is reopening for me on the 16th, which is next Monday! It's kind of happy/sad feeling or should I just say vex? It's kind of sianZ yet kind of shiok feeling at the same time la, like bittersweet? ahahah!

Anyway, I went to Khairul's place just now! I can come to a conclusion that I'm no good with parents generally! I don't know why, but parents just don't seem to like me. Am I very unlikeable? I think parents don't really like me because I look like that the rebellious kind of person? Am I correct? Do I have the sort of mischievous look? Oh Oh, by the way, I realise that a whole load of adjectives starting with S can be use to describe me! For example, Shy, Sociable, Smart! The rest you go figure out yourself! Hah! Hmm... I got chase out indirectly by his mum! Boo! That time Fei Ge's mum also chase me out indirectly! =( The feeling is like kena rejected then become dejected that kind of feeling! Rhyme sia! But WHY??? I'm a good boy! I'm shy, but doesn't mean that I'm dao (a snob) right? Some people say that I look very dao before that get to know me and I think it's the eyebrows! Hah! But I'm not going to do anything about it because it's unique! =X But how can? Aunties and Uncles, you all shouldn't judge me by my appearance! Therefore in conclusion, I don't want to go anyone's house already because I don't want to get chase out!! Boo!

Kind of sad leh... Like I always treat people well and in a nice way, but then to get chase out of the house ah... it's... AIYO... >.<>.< Oh well, I hope people just don't judge me if they don't know me. Like the old saying goes "Don't judge a book by it's cover", so "Don't judge Shawn by his looks"! L0L! I think most of my friends after getting to know me will agree that I'm a nice person right? =]

Oh I realise that some of my close friends are thinking of migrating overseas after Poly, NS, Uni, etc. It kind of sucks? Especially when you are close with them, then you realise that they are all leaving you. Then you start to think... What's the use of getting close to them in the first place if they are going abroad and never coming back? Of course, they will say they would come visit, but seriously if you migrate and get use to the lifestyle there, then do you think you will want to even come back to visit your friends? I honestly doubt so. Also, if you are living comfortably in Singapore already, then why do you want to migrate? The old saying goes... "The grass is not always greener on the otherside". To me, if you have a house to live in, food for you to eat and all your basic needs, then there really isn't a need to migrate is there? There are many advantages living in Singapore too that people usually overlooked. The country is safe from natural disasters like Earthquakes, Typhoon, Tsunami and etc because of where we are situated. Also, our streets are safe and secure from day to night. The standard of living here isn't that high too compared to other countries. So if you're thinking of or already decided on migrating, why not just take a moment and think about the life in Singapore? What makes you so sure that your life abroad would be much better? You'll never know anyway.

These are just my thoughts and opinions, so you guys can decide for yourselves. Anyway, I'm left with Thursday, Friday, Saturday and Sunday before school officially opens! Can you believe that the 2-month break is about to be over? Oh well, I can only hope that this semester is going to be fun and that my new classmates are nice! I think there's quite a number of new faces that I haven't seen before in my Software Engineering class. So 4 days left before school kicks off and hopefully within this time I can meet up with my friends and all before I start getting busy with my final year project because that's probably going to take up a whole damn lot of my time.

Hmmm... By the way, I hate this sort of comments... "Why you cry? Real man don't cry one leh!". L0L! It's damn retarded. People cry to show their emotions for many different reasons like happy, sad, excited, nervous, etc. So does that mean that if you show your emotions, then you're not a man? Get a life dude. I seriously dislike all these kind of act macho comments because it's like a brainless person making a meaningless remark. Anyway, I'm going to stop here for now because I'm hungry! I'm going to find something to eat now. Catch yall again soon! =]

"When you really trust someone, you have to be okay with not understanding some things."
- Real Live Preacher

P.S: Hmm... that's pretty true eh? So do you really trust me? and are you okay with no understanding certain things? L0L! Take care! =]

Alcohol.

2007-04-07T23:48:00.000+08:00

Hey, I'm back! How's everyone doing? I haven't been too good, so hope everyone's been better off than I have. The past few days have been strange? I don't know how to put it in words, so let me just tell you...

Thursday... Thursday was horrible. It was one of those days when you really need to get out of the house, but noone's there? It's always the case whenever you are busy everyone will ask you out and whenever you need to just get out of the house, everyone else is busy. Or they just don't want to go out, so screw that. The thing that annoys me the most about it all is people telling you "I'll be there for you anytime anywhere ok? Just give me a call". Screw that la. Don't make a promise that you cannot fulfill can? It really sucks when you give a call to those people and they tell you stuff like... "Sorry, I'm busy", "Sorry, I don't feel like going out", BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH. Also, don't apologise for the sake of it, because you sorry for what fuck? You tell me? I'm not mad at anyone or anything, I just don't want people to tell me something like that in the future and he/she just can never be there, get what I mean?

Yeah, so I ended up staying at home. I spent most of the time in my room thinking and that sucks. Whenever I'm alone, I'll start thinking and when I start thinking, I'll get EMO. Yeah, so you can say that I don't like staying at home. My plans on Friday were kindda screwed up too and I had to get out of the house. I started calling people and stuff. Apparently everyone is busy and all again. Thankfully, Alex was free, so I ended up meeting him the next day.

I woke up pretty late and I met Alex about 2pm. We went to Raffles Place MRT station to find this place called "Market Street Carpark". No, it isn't a carpark. In fact, it's a shopping centre! Dumbass name eh? So we tried finding the place and we walked around and asked people for about at least half an hour? Apparently, we couldn't find it and nobody knew about it. We went back to the station to take a look at the map again and we realise we were walking in the wrong direction... So we went back to find the place and we found it, but almost every shop was close... AIYO...

We took a bus to Suntec and on the way there, Alex told me if women can have PMS, then guys can like also be sad and moodless and stuff once in awhile too. Interesting theory there. We went to Thai Express at City Link for lunch. The curry was good and it wasn't that expensive too! The only bad thing was that the serving wasn't alot. After that, we went to Suntec because Alex wanted to walk around the children's section... -.= So old (2o this year) already still so childish! tsk. Then, we went over to Esplanade to take a bus to Holland Village. We reached Holland Village and walked to Buona Vista MRT station to meet up with Dennis before proceeding back to Holland Village. We went for dinner at some Noodle Restaurant. The Ipoh Hor Fun nice! $3.20 only!! Aahaha... Wah not bad ah, in a day can find 2 new places to have good food! Must go back sometime soon!

After dinner, we went to Eski Bar! That place stylo la. I like! Again, must go back more often! The staff there are friendly also! The timing was good also because it was happy hour until 9pm! L0L! We were there about 8pm? The music was good! The environment was good! The drinks were bad! L0L! No la, I prefered Alex and Dennis drinks compared to mine. It was my first time drinking in 4/5 years? I just felt the need to because I needed something to take me away from my problems? Yeah so... I had these 2 cocktails. First was this Singapore Sling and it tasted like medicine! Second was Sex On The Beach and it tasted like Singapore Sling, which tasted like medicine! Anyway, what kind of cock name is Sex On The Beach? No wonder it's called a COCKtail la, so suku sia the name. Imagine one day a hot waitress taking your order then you say something like "Can I get the Sex On The Beach?". L0L! Will kena some slapness anot? L0L! Oh, we took a photo in the Ice Bar area and it was -5 degrees in there man! Check it out...

Woah! Handsome sia the middle guy! Woohoo! Ignore the hair cuz i no money cut. Alex looks drunk! L0L!

Margarita, Singapore Sling, Dennis's Stomach and Kamikaze.

Eski Blue, forgot wad sai and Sex On The Beach.

Stylo ah the colours? ^^ Ok, I regret to inform everyone that I didn't get high! We had some Fries and Calamari, so the bill came up to about $90+. Scare right ? Ya, me too. Oh, Jeremiah came and join us at about 9pm. I saw Ce Rong again at the Bar of all places! L0L! Cool eh? Anyway, we left the bar after we were done drinking and we went to the kopitiam at Holland Village. The carrot cake is nice! Must go try! L0L! Yup, so I wasn't feeling so EMO already when I got home around 11pm plus. Then Dennis started questioning me about me breaking my promise about following him to church the next day. Aiya, I didn't know what to say then and I still don't know what you want me to say now because everything I say also won't make a difference anyway. I did agree to going because you told me Jeremiah would go if I did, so I was doing you a favour till Jeremiah decided not to go.

I woke up pretty late today too after falling asleep when Survivor was over. Jeremiah messaged me at 2pm asking me if I'm meeting him at Jurong East at 3pm to go to Expo. I was stunned because the night before he told Dennis and I that he wasn't going. I was also unprepared, but hey, I'm not the type that breaks promises, so I rushed and met him. When we were on the train approaching Clementi, Dennis called. He told us that there wasn't any seats left, so we decided to go to town instead. We called Weixuan and he agreed to meet us. Jeremiah and I ended up slacking around till Weixuan turned up. Oh, I met Yong Long at Far East Plaza! Hao jiu bu jian! Seems like whenever I'm EMO, I'll meet my friends whom I haven't seen in a long time! -.= We bought tickets to catch Shooter at 6.20pm and the movie was better than I expected, so yeah it was pretty good! It lasted 2 hours and we went to Hard Rock Cafe after that for drinks and Fries. I had a Margarita this time and it was better than the drinks last night. We left about close to 10pm?

So let me clear certain things up first, yes I do drink to suppress my problems and issues and whatever you want to call it. That doesn't mean I'm an alcoholic because I'm not. Does drinking suppress my problems? Yeah, maybe. Is that a reason to start drinking? Yes? No? I don't really care? I'm just a social drinker and there's nothing wrong with that. I don't think there's anything wrong with social smoking too. Even social drugging is fine. You only get to live once anyway right?

Another thing is that... Have I been having problems these few days? Yes. Do I share my problems? No. Why? Seriously, what difference does it make? It's not like people can understand or help me in anyway also what! So by telling them, it only makes them having to carry my burden and I don't like that. Also, I feel there's a huge difference when someone's there for you physically compared to virtually? Like if you tell someone your problems online or over the phone right... how do you know if they are actually listening? I also won't know what they are thinking right? Physically is so much different though. Just knowing the person is seating right next to you and listening is already more comforting than sharing my issues online or over the phone. I mean it's nice to hear someone say "I'm here listening", but if he/she isn't physically there right... then isn't it strange? Sometimes you just really need someone seating beside you to listen. Too bad for me, I've got no such luck or whatever you want to call it.

Talking to my Mum or Dad? For real? What a joke! My sister? Yeah right, we can't even hold a proper conversation without arguing. That's why I've always wanted an elder bro because I know things would be different for me. In the sense that there's someone there who I can talk to and relate/share my problems with. Well, I know it's better than having an elder sister for sure. But damnit la, my parents didn't bless me with an elder bro and now I'm all alone! =( Seriously, I think my life would be very different now if I had an elder bro just there for me to talk with and listen to me. My life won't be so fucked up and messed up. Ok, I'm not going to go on because I'll just start getting EMO again! *Sighz* Just my luck eh? *Sighz* I'm going to stop here for today before I start thinking and getting EMO and stuff again. Take care ah everyone! Don't be like me! =]

"Take away the miseries and you take away some folks' reason for living."
- Toni Cade Bambara

Trust.

2007-04-04T00:10:00.000+08:00

Hey guys, I decided to blog an entry about this after Siang Yee asked me a question about it. Aiyo... Everytime go out with him, he will leave my mind hanging with thoughts and stuff. L0L! I'm not saying it's a bad thing though, but hey it's good sometimes to just stop and think about some stuff. Anyway, if you are a sensitive person then just skip this entry yeah? This entry isn't meant to hurt anyone's feelings or anything. These are just my thoughts on Trust and it's up to you guys to agree or disagree with it. Feel free to fill me with your thoughts are even comment on it. =]

So, his question was... "What if a close friend, who is like a brother to you, betrays you? HOW!?". Hmm... That was how we started talking on the topic about Trust. Another question was... "But will you know what are his actual thoughts?" So after those two mind-blowing questions, I went home and thought about the issue on Trust. Prepare for a long entry! L0L!

How many people can you guys COMPLETELY/TOTALLY trust? I mean apart from family. Basically, how many of your friends can you guys completely or totally trust? To be honest, I only have a handful or maybe even less. Handful as in you go count the number of fingers on your hand la then you tell me how many... Yeah, 5 or less. I mean it is true that you will never know what the other person is thinking. You won't even know if the person actually treats you as a friend or if he's just using you or taking advantage. You will just never know! So how easy is it to completely put your trust in someone without any doubt? The person might be good to you and all, but ultimately you'll never know what he is thinking of. Trusting someone isn't much of a problem for anyone, but trusting someone totally is something very different. So, take a moment and think about how many people can you guys trust completely? Of course it is great to have someone other than your family who you can trust wholeheartedly. The reason being sometimes you don't talk to your parents about certain stuff mah. Generation Gap? L0L! Or even secrets? You just want to talk to someone else other than family at times right? That's for me la, I don't know about you guys.

So I didn't really managed to answer Siang Yee's first question. I did answer it, but that person wasn't a close friend or anything, so it's different. I told you guys about the colleague who scammed my $200 before right? Ok, for those who didn't hear about it before, let me take myself and you guys down memory lane...

I was working at this company after my 'O' levels and this girl joined the company after me. She only managed to stay in there because she knew the boss of the company in Church. So EVS. We talked and stuff because we were around the same age. One day, she told me she had this good deal for iPod Shuffles from her friend's dad, so I told her to get 2 for me and a friend. Yeah, I know I was naive back then. I passed her the money because she said her friend's dad wanted payment to be made first before shipping in the products. After that, she said she was heading to Melbourne for a short holiday and she told me she will keep in contact with me on how to collect the iPod Shuffles from her friend's dad shop. Apparently, when she was in Melbourne, she told me the stocks were delayed and she will get back to me when she's back in Singapore. Ok, so I pestered her about it when she came back and she said it was delayed slightly. 2 weeks later, she left for Melbourne again and no contact was made from then on. She probably blocked me on MSN and her Singapore line was off. I kept trying to get her, but I couldn't contact her at all, so I sort of gave up.

One fine day, which was like months later or even a year, I tried my luck. Her Singapore line rang and it was her sister over the phone. I asked for her Australia line and I called her up. She was pretty shocked and apparently she couldn't remember who I was. After reminding her of the iPod Shuffles, her memory came back and she said she was busy and she will message me the details. Oh, I did ask her why wasn't she on MSN anymore and she answered she was still trying to get the Internet hooked up after who knows how long. ZzZ. Well, she couldn't run away this time. She said somehow the iPod Shuffles shipping had some problem and it was cancelled, but I could go to her friend's dad shop to get a refund. She messaged me her friend's email, which was invalid. In the message, she told me not to let her family know about it because her mum told her never to help anyone buy anything in case such a thing happened. She told me it wasn't invalid and asked me to wait for the person to be online. From then, she didn't reply to my messages or calls.

Well Bitch, you got me good! I didn't really tell anyone about it. I didn't call up her family because what's the use? Do you think they will believe me more than their own daughter? I didn't call the cops because what can they do when she's in Australia already and god knows when she's returning. Her message about not telling her family was I don't know... I just felt that she already had the intention of cheating my money. If she really wanted to return that refund, she should have called her friend and asked her friend to give me a call. Well didn't work out that way, so yeah you got me good. I learnt a valuable lesson from this at the expense of $200. Yes, a very costly lesson indeed. From that day onwards, I totally stopped trusting or believing anyone at all. Seriously! I thought everyone out there cannot be trusted after that incident. Slowly, I started putting my trust in people. The difference before the incident and after is... last time, I could trust people easily without thinking. Now, I would put some thought before believing anything anyone says. Also, previously, I could put complete trust in many people without much doubt. NOW, it's totally opposite! L0L! I don't trust everyone completely except a few and even then, there's still doubt hanging around.

Yeah, that was only one incident. There are other minor incidents that happened too, but they didn't involve money. However, it involved something I feel is more valuable and that is friendship/relationship. I just seem to suck real bad at being around with the right people. I mean everytime I'm with someone who I managed to get very close with, the friendship will be gone. It really sucks, especially when I wonder if all the people I'm close with right now will turn their backs against me someday. Yeah, I had a very close friend who I treated like a brother in secondary school. He didn't betray me or anything, but our friendship was still broken and we haven't talked since then. I don't really know what went wrong except he told me I changed? Yes, so it's really really very frustrating for me. Now, I try not to get very close to anyone anymore. I keep a distance from everyone because I feel that whenever I become close to anyone, that relationship will just be over. Although it was just ONE incident, but still, the amount of pain it caused and the scars left behind will always be there. Yeah, so I really apologise if you guys are really trying to get close with me, but I can't do the same. You have to understand that it isn't because I don't want to, but it is because I don't want to get hurt like **** again.

See, that's why I say sensitive people shouldn't read because I might offend them or in fact offend anyone unintentionally. I know you guys would be thinking like "Hey, but I'm not like your that secondary school friend what! What's that suppose to mean?". I'm not saying you are, but sometimes things just happen... get me ? It's hard to put in words. You have to experience something similar to know what it's like. There are like close ones who I really want to get even closer with, but how can I ? Once again, it involves trust. *Sighz* Yeah, so I get it's good for me to keep a certain distance? The strange thing is that I don't even like that "distance". As in, I would really like to be closer with certain people, but I'm afraid? I guess you can say I'm afraid... I don't think there's any sort of remedy to cure me from this. Another difference about me is that last time I would take the initiative to get close with someone, but now I won't get close to anyone unless they come get close to me. Hmmm... perhaps the only remedy for me is that people choose to get close with me and actually tell me that. That will probably be the change and the thing to look out for too.

Ok, so whatever I've said, you can take it as crap and one ear go in the other go out or you can think about it. Think about how important trust and friendship is. Think about the friendship you have with me. Think about how much you trust me. You guys can always let me know and hey if you all decide that you guys don't trust me after reading my entry, I won't hold anything against anyone. I truly believe that friendship is nothing at all without trust. So you guys think about what I have said from the start and yeah, fill me in with your thoughts too k? Just remember to say what you mean and mean what you say! =]

"Be kind - Remember every one you meet is fighting a battle - everybody's lonesome."
- Marion Parker